PHILINFRANCE

Effectively 227/8 at present. Ever the optimist, but we could, couldn’t we. 9 down now! All Out. 285 to win.

It was funnier the first time you told it ?.

You may well (probably) have, but I have forgotten it - it happens to the best of us ?, so feel free to post it again.

Hi @Robbored, I liked your joke as I thought it funny. Nevertheless, I was convinced I had heard it before...so checked: Robbored The voice of reason. OTIB Supporter 1,757 36,887 posts Location: Nailsea Posted February 29, 2020 Two old boys Bill and Tom grew up together and played in the same team and followed cricket all over country most of their lives. Sitting at the County Ground in Taunton during the tea break Tom says to Bill ‘do you suppose that they have cricket up in heaven?’ ‘ Dunno’ says Bill ‘but whichever one of us gets there first, they come back in a dream to let the other know’ Eventually Tom passes away and that night he visits his life long friend in a dream....’ Bill, I have some good news, and some bad news, which one would you like first’? ’ The good news first, Tom’ ’ well, says Tom, ‘there is cricket up here in heaven. It’s wonderful, no rain delays, perfect temperatures’ ‘and the bad news is that you’re opening the batting tomorrow!’ I do prefer the newer, revised version, though ?.

Tom Lammonby appears to be in a bit of form....

Indeed. Greyhound racing used to be so big, that Wembley Stadium refused to cancel a pre-planned meet back in 1966, causing the World Cup group match between Uruguay and France to be played at the White City.

So, you’re a friend of Archie, then ?.

I was just reading the close of play summary of the match between West Indies and Sri Lanka, where Sri Lanka's wicketkeeper, Niroshan Dickwella, was bowled, played on, when he was 96 Not Out. Nothing remarkable about that, you might think, but he was described (by Cricinfo) as 'The greatest nearly-man in Test history' and, to satisfy my curiosity, I looked at the list they helpfully provided of Test players who had scored 50 runs or more in a Test innings but never gone on to make a Century - poor old ND has done it 17 times, with today's 96NO being his highest Test score. What I did also find interesting, however, was that England's former captain, JM (Mike) Brearley, was high up in that list, with a highest score of 91, but without a single Century in his 39 Tests. Of course, memory fades with time, but I would have sworn that he scored at least a few Centuries in his illustrious Test career. Here is a link to the list in case anybody is interested: https://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/stats/index.html?class=1;filter=advanced;orderby=fifty_plus;qualmax1=0;qualval1=hundreds;template=results;type=batting

I suppose JB's comments about his now ex-Captain make Lee Johnson's comments about Taylor Moore and Hordue Magnússon look quite tame in comparison.

Speaking about Rovers' (now ex)-Captain: The Rovers boss has crossed paths with Ehmer before. The Germany-born defender came through the ranks at Queens Park Rangers, where Barton was captain. "For me, it’s a common theme," the manager said. "Don’t forget I’ve known Max from when I was at QPR. He was training with us when he was 20 and the observations of him then haven’t changed much to the observations of the player I’ve found now. "That is worrying in that period of time, seven, eight or nine years, if you’re still making the same mistakes. Barton believes Ehmer was not the appropriate choice to wear the armband – though the manager says he is committed to "building him back up". "Captain when we came in, and I just don’t understand that," Barton said. "How can that be the leader, the person you set out as the head of your organisation, as the head of your troops? "He’s got a lot of work to do, the boy. We’ve got to build him back up and it’s not straightforward, and, as I say, I can only help people who want to help themselves. "I’m here to do the fans proud, to do the owner proud, to do the city proud, and unfortunately there’s going to be collateral damage along the way. "If you don’t help yourself, you’re not going to be staying on this ship long. You’re going to be getting thrown overboard. bristol.live Follow @bristollive MORE ON

Oh, absolutely; the third umpire was screwed by the on-field 'soft' decision. Conversely, of course, had the on-field 'soft' decision been Not Out, then that is how it would have (quite correctly in my opinion) stayed.

Hmmm. I am not at all convinced that SKY was out there. I suspect there would be major complaints had that been an England batsman given out following an on-field 'soft' call of out.

Somebody on Gaschat seems to have cottoned on.... Some people aren't ever satisfied. Remember that Wael has the best experts, people who have built countless stadiums, if it wasn't for him putting all of this in place we may be 5 years down the road and still playing in something that looks like the film set for Carry On Camping.

Two blokes on a night out meet two women of dubious character and, at the end of the evening, leave with their respective 'partners', both expecting to 'take things further'. The following day, the first bloke asks his mate how he got on and how he had enjoyed his night. Fantastic, he replied; a real goer, beautiful breasts, firm hips and a clitoris like a gherkin. Wow, such a large clitoris? No, I was talking about its taste and smell.

Many years ago (50?), my sister joked that the reason her knickers were labelled C&A was so she knew which way round to wear them. It took me several years before I understood the joke.

How interesting. I have travelled frequently to these countries over the past twenty years, and have seen their shops without ever realising that they had closed down in the UK.

To be fair to our friends in blue, one of their posters started a brilliantly titled thread: Jonah saves the Wael Credit where credit’s due.

Well, Yes, and as someone who lost their father recently, I can confirm it hurts.

Precisely my interpretation - AH is taking the (friendly) piss out of her fellow England cricketer. For what it is worth, I considered her comment quite funny, and it is perhaps unfortunatet that RB could not have retorted with a witty comment of his own.

As epitomised by Bairstow's first ball. I know he wasn't out, but even so: to play that shot, first ball, on the second day of a five day Test....

I thought I saw exactly the same thing - for me Joe Root was more out than Ben Foakes.

On the contrary, that was the point I was trying (unsuccessfully, it would seem) to make. Jack Leach can hang around.

A propos slogging, now then Jack!

On another subject, I am just hearing that Ashwin has got his 400th wicket in just 77 Tests. I thought he had been around for years.

So, as I mentioned earlier, here is hoping Jack can hold up his end while Ben Foakes scores a few runs.