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Time To Mock The Taffs! C.c.f.c

Dolman Block B

By Dolman Block B
in Football Chat

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Barrs Court Red

Barrs Court Red

Posted
Posted

Hitler was Welsh, but claimed to be Austrian as he though the world would have worse opinion of him if his true nationality was revelealed.

Untill recently some parts of Wales didn't have any mains electricity.................True.

WELSH FRICTION The Scene: John Trovolta and Samuel J. Jackson sitting in car talking.

(Pulp Fiction music fades off...)

S: Ok, so tell me again about the Welsh.

J: Whaddya wanna know?

S: Beastiality is legal there right?

J: Yeah, its legal but it ain't a 100% legal. I mean you can't just walk into a field, pick up a sheep and start pumpin' away. They wan't you to shag sheep in your home or certain designated places.

S: And those are valleys?

J: Ok, it breaks down like this: its legal to buy a sheep, its legal to

own a sheep and if you're a farmer its legal to sell or loan sheep, its

ILLEGAL to **** sheep in public but...but...but that doesn't matter 'cos,

getta loada this, the police in Wales are too stupid to notice you've got

a sheep hanging off your dick. I mean that's the interlect the police in

Wales DON'T have.

S: Arrr man. I'm not goin', that's all there is too it, I'm never ******'goin'.

J: Nah man, you'd hate it the most. But do know what the funniest thing about Wales is?

S: What?

J: Its the little differences, I mean they got the same kinda people over there as we got here, but there they're a little different.

S: Example.

J: Ok. You can walk into a Movie theatre in Cardiff and order a lump of coal, and I'm not talkin' about no paper cup, I'm talkin' about a LUMP of coal. And in Swansea you can buy coal in MacDonalds. Do you know what they call a 1/4 pounder with cheese in Wales?

S: They don't call it a 1/4 pounder with cheese?

J: Nah man, they don't have fractions, they wouldn't know what the **** a 1/4 pounder is.

S: So whadda they call it?

J: A (assumes welsh accent) "Ham and Cheese Sandwhichchchch".

S: A Ham and Cheese Sandwichchchchch?

J: That's right.

S: And whadda they call a Big Mac?

J: A Big Macs a Big Mac but there they call it a Bich Machch (accent again).

S: (immitating accent badly) A Bichch Machchchchchchch?

J: Ha ha ha

Dai had proposed to Megan and been accepted. "But", added Megan, before we get married I must tell you something dreadful about my past life."

"No," said Dai, "I won't hear of it. You can tell me after we're married."

After they were married and had set off for their honeymoon in Penarth, Megan again brought up the subject of her "dreadful secret".

"No," said Dai, "it can wait. Tell me when we're in bed together, that'll be soon enough."

That night as they got into bed Megan declared "Well, Dai, now I really do have to tell you my secret. You see .I'm a virgin."

Dai didn't say a word but put on his clothes and travelled all the way back to his mother's house.

"Dai!" said his mother, "what are you doing here, you're supposed to be on your honeymoon."

"It's no good", said Dai, "I've had to leave Megan; it turns out she's a virgin."

"Well, Dai," said his mother, "in that case you were quite right to come home. If she's not good enough for the rest of the village she's not good enough for you."

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Bromsgrove

Bromsgrove

Posted
Posted

Is this..another..Closet.... sheep... lover? 1 post, joined yesterday.

"Sheep lover". You crack me up, aye.

Yep. I'm a CCFC fan. Just wanted to see what the mood was on here. Not here to get into petty schoolkid "my dad's bigger than yours" arguments. Been supporting CCFC since the late 80s. First time over to AG was 92/93 in the League Cup (Andy Cole game). Seems this board is the same as ours. Lots of school kids posting rubbish. Ah well.

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Andy082005

Andy082005

Posted
Posted

And we'll point out to you that you are actually German :dancing2: Celtic people are more native to Britain than you anglo-saxons.

Keep believing you are your own country.....simple fact is, we own you! Make out your independant.....your not, your our bitches!

All Wales is is a dirty part of England we didnt want......so thought, "I know, lets draw a line on the map, make it look seperate and call it something else....."

You may well hammer us Saturday, but you will always be a second rate people when it comes to us. :englandsmile4wf:

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CiderArmyy

CiderArmyy

Posted
Posted

"Sheep lover". You crack me up, aye.

Yep. I'm a CCFC fan. Just wanted to see what the mood was on here. Not here to get into petty schoolkid "my dad's bigger than yours" arguments. Been supporting CCFC since the late 80s. First time over to AG was 92/93 in the League Cup (Andy Cole game). Seems this board is the same as ours. Lots of school kids posting rubbish. Ah well.

Banter, my welsh friend :D

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Bromsgrove

Bromsgrove

Posted
Posted

Keep believing you are your own country.....simple fact is, we own you! Make out your independant.....your not, your our bitches!

All Wales is is a dirty part of England we didnt want......so thought, "I know, lets draw a line on the map, make it look seperate and call it something else....."

You may well hammer us Saturday, but you will always be a second rate people when it comes to us. :englandsmile4wf:

Good grief. I rest my case.

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mario86

mario86

Posted
Posted

Keep believing you are your own country.....simple fact is, we own you! Make out your independant.....your not, your our bitches!

All Wales is is a dirty part of England we didnt want......so thought, "I know, lets draw a line on the map, make it look seperate and call it something else....."

You may well hammer us Saturday, but you will always be a second rate people when it comes to us. :englandsmile4wf:

:rofl2br: This is going in my wurzel scrapbook. :laugh:

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CardiffBlackLabel

CardiffBlackLabel

Posted
Posted

Keep believing you are your own country.....simple fact is, we own you! Make out your independant.....your not, your our bitches!

All Wales is is a dirty part of England we didnt want......so thought, "I know, lets draw a line on the map, make it look seperate and call it something else....."

You may well hammer us Saturday, but you will always be a second rate people when it comes to us. :englandsmile4wf:

Evidently it's still true that Bristol has amongst the very worst performing secondary schools in the UK..

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Bromsgrove

Bromsgrove

Posted
Posted

Banter, my welsh friend :D

I'm all for a bit of banter, mate. No problem. Just think it's a waste of time getting into completely pointless cyber squabbles, just because we support different football clubs. The facts of the matter are, we're very similar clubs, similar crowds, fortunes, representing large cities within our respective regions, who overall, have underachieved. We've had ups and downs, and will continue to do so, no doubt. Both of us.

It'll be my first league game at the CCS on Saturday. I went everywhere with Cardiff from 1990 to 2006. When we left Ninian Park, I was gutted. Heart said I didn't want us to move. Head said we had to. The club became even more of a pantomime with Ridsdale in charge, and it became more about what was going on off the pitch, than on it. I couldn't stand the bloke, and I haven't bothered going since we left NP. However, I'm looking forward to Saturday. Always enjoy our games. Was there for the Scott Murray thing at NP. Was there for the rear guard action in the playoff semi. Always good banter.

We'll be in the Neville, Wolf. Come and say hello.

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Northampton Red

Northampton Red

Posted
Posted

Quite a strange comment considering your elders probably fought against the Germans side by side with us Welsh. :farmer:

A lil joke poppet,don't get your knickers in a twist. Today at least,the Welsh are far more annoying than the Germans. Least they have beautiful women,good beer and don't wave inflatable daffodils and think Tom Jones is the second coming. I'm not saying it's going to happen,but football is a funny old game-and if we beat you on Saturday I expect you'll crawl back under whatever bleak,miserable,chav infested s**thole part of Cardiff you live in. Clifton vs Splott, end of discussion.

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CiderArmyy

CiderArmyy

Posted
Posted

I'm all for a bit of banter, mate. No problem. Just think it's a waste of time getting into completely pointless cyber squabbles, just because we support different football clubs. The facts of the matter are, we're very similar clubs, similar crowds, fortunes, representing large cities within our respective regions, who overall, have underachieved. We've had ups and downs, and will continue to do so, no doubt. Both of us.

It'll be my first league game at the CCS on Saturday. I went everywhere with Cardiff from 1990 to 2006. When we left Ninian Park, I was gutted. Heart said I didn't want us to move. Head said we had to. The club became even more of a pantomime with Ridsdale in charge, and it became more about what was going on off the pitch, than on it. I couldn't stand the bloke, and I haven't bothered going since we left NP. However, I'm looking forward to Saturday. Always enjoy our games. Was there for the Scott Murray thing at NP. Was there for the rear guard action in the playoff semi. Always good banter.

We'll be in the Neville, Wolf. Come and say hello.

Good read from a sensible Cardiff fan, thanks :chant6ez: Ninnian Park looks a more daunting place than CCC, more hostile crowds, lets just hope nothing spills out.

One question were you there when we beat you 2-0 with Roberts not celebrating the 2nd? :innocent06:

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