Advice required on stabbing a fellow red.

[BITW]

I wouldn't recommend stabbing him in the ground. Those bloody jobsworth stewards will chuck you out for anything these days. 

[Red-Robbo]

I feel your pain Cyril.  For many seasons I have endured a constant barrage of commentary from a cockney fellow behind me.

Gems like " Awwwwww, why cantcha find a red shirt!"

Er, because he's a centre back playing a 40 yard ball to get it out of the danger zone and has no options upfield.

[Lanterne Rouge]

You could get in early one day, unbolt his seat, and hide it. Or swap seats for one game with a very tall man wearing a top hat.

[Marina's Rolls Royce]

I can't believe I'm sitting next to so many of you.

[petehinton]

The guy behind me genuinely (swear on my life) said "its footballs fault we're 1-0 down, red cards are a stupid idea, a sin bin is a much better idea". 

10 mins later said how we there should be a fifth official, sitting outside in a van by the ground, watching the game on tv to help the ref on whether tackles are bookings or not.....

The guy on RB yesterday saying to bring Warnock in as well - what a fantastic idea that is. 

I really think most fans think you can play football in real life like you do on FIFA 

[RedorDead BCFC]

Slight option number 4, the non violent version, shit in a bag and put it by his seat when he complains point out you've listened to his so far this season. 

 

[handsofclay]

I used to be stuck near a guy who used to get a nail clipper out and clip his fingernails. What I would've given to have had a commentary instead. Trying to avoid that compared to flying fingernails is a doodle. He didn't do it every match...but every match I was aware the dreaded implement might make an appearance. 

[Chivs]

19 hours ago, Mad Cyril said:

Aside from all the drama on the pitch. I would welcome some advice on potential drama in the stand.

So with the stadium redevelopment, I find my season ticket seat in my third spot in the ground in three seasons. All is good. Until now. 

So far I have been largely fortunate to share my little bit of rented Ashton Gate with good people. Until this season.

Yep, I have Mr Grade One Nobber sat behind me now with a compulsion to issue dire commentary out loud for 90 minutes at every home game to every effing pass and moment of the match. 

God, if I want to hear cr@p like 'close him' 'he's done you' 'push up' 'hit the target' 'he's left his team mates under pressure taking that red' and other such splurge of hindsight cliches, I will tune into radio Bristol.

So my options -

1) ignore a fellow red, he is one of our own and entitled to shout what he wants.

2) stuff having a moan on the forum. Man up Cyril and have a polite word with him. What could go wrong with 5 months of the season to go sat in front of him. You will be helping him to address his anger issues.

3) contact Bris Sport and pay the fee for the five of you to shift seats. Enjoy the rest of the season behind a restricted view.

4) stuff that, turn round, stab him on the face with a rusty screwdriver, cut his chest open and rip his beating heart out, eat it in front of his face, then cut his head off and sh1t down his neck. Dance round his twitching corpse and sing I can't here you anymore.

Any constructive advice appreciated. I will go with the most popular vote and take 20 years to cheer up the forum as required.

Thanks, Cyril.

I might add (further to my earlier suggestion that you come over and have a word) that you've had a mare here.  Early doors, I was right behind you. But me and the other lads can see that you've been done by the spelling police on this one.  It's clearly "Sing 'I can't hear you anymore'"

Get a grip and stop letting the OTIB team down.

[Lanterne Rouge]

55 minutes ago, Chivs said:

I might add (further to my earlier suggestion that you come over and have a word) that you've had a mare here.  Early doors, I was right behind you. But me and the other lads can see that you've been done by the spelling police on this one.  It's clearly "Sing 'I can't hear you anymore'"

Get a grip and stop letting the OTIB team down.

Should have been taken off at half time and this debacle would never have happened.

[kiwicolin]

WE have had the same. When we were in the Atyeo stand I had to bite my tongue many times and a couple of times

I had to say something . Just got a load of abuse back. Now we are in the new South stand , there is a young guy who

shouts out every time when something goes wrong. It's so annoying.

Why can't we all round up these moaners who shout out at the team and stick them in one place, then they can annoy each other.

Mad Cyril. As much as the 4th option made me smile , it's not worth it.

[redsquirrel]

if option 4 is too harsh,soak the screwdriver in vinegar for an hour before kickoff then it wont be rusty

[Sir Leigh of Somerset]

Mad Cyril, you beat me to it!

It was one thing and bad enough yesterday watching us go from the team 'most likely to' in the first half to the team 'never going to' in the second half due to Baker's tackling indiscretions.

However, it was altogether another thing and even worse to have to listen to the running commentary from the three bell-ends sitting by me in the Dolman/East Stand!

This father with two teenager (?) sons (?) really know their stuff (not!) and boy do they like to share their ignorance. What was almost funny yesterday was that without Pack (who they berate for 90 minutes no matter how well he plays), they decided as a collective that Ayling was responsible for all of our problems to the point that the old man repeatedly uttered the immortal words that "that Ayling has had a nightmare of a season" (What.......?).

These are three people who, by the look of them, have never stepped out on to a football field in their lives (well, not to actually play the game anyway) and what they know about the game could be written on a postage stamp but , by far, the worst aspect of having these idiots sat behind me is their constant moaning and carping about everyone and everything. It goes on for the full 90 minutes and it really does my head in.

I'm undecided whether to **** them in the hope this will shut them up or just try to get my seat moved. From what you, Mad Cyril, and others have posted, it seems that I'd have to endure the same elsewhere.

I endorse the suggestion that seats should be segregated next season with all the moaning, know-nothing numpties lumped together in one stand. Who's starting the petition? 

[Lanterne Rouge]

I must admit it`s been a refreshing change for me this year. Having spent years in the Atyeo sat in front of the world`s biggest bellend and his annoyingly screechy voiced wife (the first player I remember her screaming abuse at was Matt Hewlett!) I`m really enjoying having extremely agreeable and sensible people around me this season.

I do feel all your pain though having had years of it.

[Manon]

I'll strike a deal with you Cyril...

I promise to quit with the commentary if you spare me the flatulence (particularly your signature cider-dog food aroma).

 

 

I think it's something that I've become more aware of as I've gotten older; the people sat around me. I'm not sure which I hate more, just the professional moaners, or the ignorants who don't know what they're watching.