Bristol R*vers dustbin thread

[Somerset Red]

41 minutes ago, Smaller than a flea said:

I've had you.

You wish!

Rudolf's not fussy, but he wouldn't stoop that low.   

[myol'man]

Send him to Vietnam..........

[David Brent]

1 hour ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Be honest lads.

I know you love Bert, but is it a good idea to spend an hour of your life composing that latest pile of over-wordy nonsense? What does any of the implied irony or sarcasm actually mean except that he hates Bristol Rovers then and now?

If any of it was worth writing, or had some humour, I might laugh sardonically, but sadly I am not looking forward to part 2.

Can you ban him?

Bert contributes much more than you do.

"Ashton Gate looks like City Ground"

And since when did this forum need to satisfy your sense of humour?

[steviestevieneville]

1 hour ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Oh well.

Did you find his long, long obscure post as hysterically funny as he thought it was when he wrote it?

Or like me, did you think it was a bit of a waste of time?

I like his twisted humour, very much from the vic and Bob envelope . 

[steviestevieneville]

1 hour ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Oh well.

Did you find his long, long obscure post as hysterically funny as he thought it was when he wrote it?

Or like me, did you think it was a bit of a waste of time?

It's a lot more entertaining than the usual bitter and twisted bile the likes of you constantly spout on here. 

[Ohbasso]

To be honest I barely ever read Bert's posts because they're normally so long winded but I just like them anyway as I know it winds the blue few up. 

[Vincent Vega]

1 hour ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Oh well.

Did you find his long, long obscure post as hysterically funny as he thought it was when he wrote it?

Or like me, do you think I'm  bitter and a  total waste of time?

Fixed that for you .

[Bar BS3]

3 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Well if you're talking about the last fifteen years then fair play to comment on the farce that we have had to endure.

If we're talking about the last two years then maybe not.

It's quite amazing (and typically gullable) that Rovers fans take such a level of pride in the last 2 seasons, skin of their teeth "success"

You've attained Football League status and followed it up by removing yourself from the basement stock of said Football League and find yourself further down the pecking order than you were back in 1990!

You appear to have been duped into buying ANOTHER falsified stadium dream with little substance and you are now owned by a foreign rich kid (who's nowhere near as rich as you were led to belive) who is yet to spend any money of note on the club.

On the back of such "progress" you genuinely belive that you are "coming for us"

Excuse me if I'm not quite dreaming of a Championship/Premier Leage Derby at your shiny new home in South Glos just yet! 

[Rudolf Hucker]

3 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

I've had you.

You wish but being smaller than a flea, you can satisfy nobody. Perhaps stick to boob cricket?

[BS2 Red]

10 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Well if you're talking about the last fifteen years then fair play to comment on the farce that we have had to endure.

If we're talking about the last two years then maybe not.

15 years ago you were in the Second Division (League One today) and finished 2000/01 by being relegated to the Third Division (League Two today).  In the years that have followed you managed to get back up to the heights of League One, before dropping down to League Two again and then out of the Football League altogether.  Then in the last 2 years you managed to scrape out of the Conference on penalties before (barely) finishing third in League Two to scrape another promotion.

So yeah, well done on being back where you started.

[Fiale]

11 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Be honest lads.

I know you love Bert, but is it a good idea to spend an hour of your life composing that latest pile of over-wordy nonsense? What does any of the implied irony or sarcasm actually mean except that he hates Bristol Rovers then and now?

If any of it was worth writing, or had some humour, I might laugh sardonically, but sadly I am not looking forward to part 2.

Can you ban him?

 

I thought it was a funny, and a witty dig at the Ajax trip... so funny, witty and topical.

[Unan]

11 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Oh well.

Did you find his long, long obscure post as hysterically funny as he thought it was when he wrote it?

Or like me, did you think it was a bit of a waste of time?

Controversial post: Complete waste, clear city fan, nobody can see past their bias views.

[Barrs Court Red]

12 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Be honest lads.

I know you love Bert, but is it a good idea to spend an hour of your life composing that latest pile of over-wordy nonsense? What does any of the implied irony or sarcasm actually mean except that he hates Bristol Rovers then and now?

If any of it was worth writing, or had some humour, I might laugh sardonically, but sadly I am not looking forward to part 2.

Can you ban him?

Bert is good value.

We're a broad church and all sad sags are welcome, but shit low end banter doesn't go down well.  

[Natchfever]

13 hours ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Be honest lads.

I know you love Bert, but is it a good idea to spend an hour of your life composing that latest pile of over-wordy nonsense? What does any of the implied irony or sarcasm actually mean except that he hates Bristol Rovers then and now?

If any of it was worth writing, or had some humour, I might laugh sardonically, but sadly I am not looking forward to part 2.

Can you ban him?

Can we ban you instead ?

[Red Rag]

Mr Flea. There is a place for you that you may be unaware of, it's called Gas Chat. It's a special place where the gaseous few congregate to discuss all manner of topics. If you wish you can even start your own thread, as an example if you wanted to discuss the merits of which material would best suit for your new stadium that's the place to do it. You may even wish to tax the brain power of said forum members with a maths puzzle such as, what is the optimum number of tent pegs required per Sq Mt of canvas, assuming of course the guy ropes are factored in to the equation? But then it dawned on me that any self respecting Gas Head would know of this place, so it begs the question why do you lurk on OTIB so often? why does you web browsing history show that visits to OTIB outweigh Gas Chat views? Bingo got it, you're a closet Red. I beg you you Mr Flea take the plunge, Come Out, release yourself from your mental torture, be brave and give in to your guilty pleasure. We are a broad church on OTIB and would welcome you. I understand you may be intimidated worshiping at the new cathedral that is Ashton Gate, it's a big step up from a small tented chapel I know, but we can help you. It will be much more crowded than you are used to, but again don't worry we can help. I explore you Mr Flea just come out for your pease of mind. I am sure you will now get plenty of encouragement from my fellow Reds.

[The Joker]

How the hell anybody can get upset by the ramblings of a poster on a football forum is beyond me, its not even personal for Christ sake,its banter,piss-take,it does not matter,something really is not right here, TBH this is not normal behavior,quite sad really.

[Toblerone]

Lee and Dopey were chatting the other night after one of the RB phone ins. Geoff Twentypence joined them and was bemoaning that a lot of footballers aren't that bright.

"Not sure I agree" said Lee, "listen to this". So Lee phones Tammy Abraham and asks him a question, "There's this man, he's you father's son but he's not your brother. Who is he?".

"Simple boss, it's me" says Tammy.

Dopey decided to try this at training next day. He goes up to Taylor and asks the question. Taylor looks bemused and says he'll have to think about it.

In a break in training Taylor rings his agent who replies "It's me, now go away until you decide to join a proper club".

Taylor finds Dopey and says "that question, the man is my agent".

Dopey is confused, "you *****ng moron, how can you be so stupid? It's obviously Tammy Abraham".

 

 

[SimonR]

17 hours ago, Red Rag said:

Reports suggest a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at the Minimal Stadium at the last home game.

Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

 

Stealing this for facebook and twitter. Take a Bow mate!

[stawey]

it must be time for me to confess. many years ago, i think it must have been in the early 60. i was invited be a boss of mine to watch his team newcastle  play at the sags gas works in a cup game. never having slummed that much before it all became a bit of a shock. apart from the awful smell we had some of the best seats in the old  rotting stand the one with the buckets of water to put out the fires from the rubbish and fag ends dropped between the gaps in the wood planking floor. a sort of fire watch duty. my seat was directly under an old loudspeaker that hung from its wire.  i drew the stewards attention to this and was told it was ok because it had been like it for years. the game started and shortly after the loudspeaker  and its wire parted and it landed on my head giving me a cut that bled  rather well, the steward  rushed to me and offered me his dirty snotty handkerchief.  on the monday following i phoned to complain and was offered a free ticket to the next sag  home game . i declined of course. the point i make is that if this had happened today with the claim and blame society    i would have prob ended up sueing and owning the lot   could have then shut the club down and sold the old gas works to ikea.

[Son of Fred]

5 hours ago, SalisburyRed said:

Lee and Dopey were chatting the other night after one of the RB phone ins. Geoff Twentypence joined them and was bemoaning that a lot of footballers aren't that bright.

"Not sure I agree" said Lee, "listen to this". So Lee phones Tammy Abraham and asks him a question, "There's this man, he's you father's son but he's not your brother. Who is he?".

"Simple boss, it's me" says Tammy.

Dopey decided to try this at training next day. He goes up to Taylor and asks the question. Taylor looks bemused and says he'll have to think about it.

In a break in training Taylor rings his agent who replies "It's me, now go away until you decide to join a proper club".

Taylor finds Dopey and says "that question, the man is my agent".

Dopey is confused, "you *****ng moron, how can you be so stupid? It's obviously Tammy Abraham".

 

 

Thanks.. boring day at work-made me smile!..

[Toblerone]

1 hour ago, Robert the bruce said:

Thanks.. boring day at work-made me smile!..

It is a very old joke to be honest. First time i heard it the characters were Ferguson, Wenger, Bergcamp, Beckham and Nevile.

Still works though

Edited October 6, 2016 by SalisburyRed

[yardy]

here he comes Oh Tammy Tammy....

[In the Net]

21 hours ago, bs3 said:

I thought they had to build a car park this month at UWE otherwise they will have to reapply for planning permission. 

Tick tock

Work had to start on the site this month in order to retain the planning permission, the car park is first on the agenda, so a few diggers have been active for the last couple of weeks.

Q&A session with Wael + the Chairman tonight. I'm not expecting to learn anything new at the moment, usual soundbites and everybody will go home happy.

Edited October 6, 2016 by In the Net

[Toblerone]

Dopey got a call from Plod at 2:30 am the other day as there was a suspected break in at the CH4 Dome.

"The cups, the cups, did they get the cups" asked a very distressed Dopey.

"It's ok sir, the kitchen hasn't been touched".

[glynriley]

1 hour ago, SalisburyRed said:

Dopey got a call from Plod at 2:30 am the other day as there was a suspected break in at the CH4 Dome.

"The cups, the cups, did they get the cups" asked a very distressed Dopey.

"It's ok sir, the kitchen hasn't been touched".

Was chatting to 2 gAssholes last week. "Do you ever go to the Mem?" I asked. "Oh yeah" says gAsshole number 1 "all the time, and we've hit on a brilliant plan"

"Yes" chimes in gAsshole number 2 "We wait until 10 minutes after kick off then climb over the gate"

"Do you often get away with that?" I enquired

"Yes most weeks, but last week we got caught and had to watch the rest of the match"

 

 

[Lanterne Rouge]

10 minutes ago, glynriley said:

Was chatting to 2 gAssholes last week. "Do you ever go to the Mem?" I asked. "Oh yeah" says gAsshole number 1 "all the time, and we've hit on a brilliant plan"

"Yes" chimes in gAsshole number 2 "We wait until 10 minutes after kick off then climb over the gate"

"Do you often get away with that?" I enquired

"Yes most weeks, but last week we got caught and had to watch the rest of the match"

 

 

I phoned the mem today and asked them what time the kick off was on Saturday. They asked me what time I could get there.

[Toblerone]

Dopey's new training drill was a bit of a failure to be honest. He placed 11 dustbins on the pitch for he sags to dribble around. After a quarter of an hour the bins were 2-0 up. Then Taylor dived and got one sent off.

[Septic Peg]

1 hour ago, SalisburyRed said:

Dopey's new training drill was a bit of a failure to be honest. He placed 11 dustbins on the pitch for he sags to dribble around. After a quarter of an hour the bins were 2-0 up. Then Taylor dived and got one sent off.

You forgot the penalty after the sending off...

[Smaller than a flea]

Apparently the UWE build starts in March. No idea if it's true or not, but I thought some of you photographers might want to record the event, and  you might need some notice to book a day or two off.

 

[RedRaw]

1 hour ago, Smaller than a flea said:

Apparently the UWE build starts in March. No idea if it's true or not, but I thought some of you photographers might want to record the event, and  you might need some notice to book a day or two off.

 

Well, you'd better go and tell waelly because as far as he's concerned you've not even received a positive feasibility study yet.....

Al-Qadi, meanwhile, confirmed that there was nothing new to report on the club's on-going plans to build a new stadium on land owned by the University of West England in Stole Gifford.

The owner had said on September 8 that a feasibility study was being carried out and Al-Qadi confirmed that they were still awaiting the conclusions from that study to be returned to the club.

"We are calling for updates and are expecting those to be relayed to us shortly," Al-Qadi said. "We are hopeful that within a short amount of time we will be able to really get this project seriously moving."

Deliver a stadium?? You can't even get a feasibility study delivered!

Edited October 6, 2016 by RedRaw