Dinky Gems Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 As I awoke this morningWhen all sweet things are bornA Sparrow perched upon my sillTo signal the coming mornHe was so fragile, fluffy, fresh and youngHow sweetly did he singAnd thoughts of happiness and joyInto my heart did spring.I smiled so sweetly at his songAnd stood beside my bedI gently shut the windowAnd crushed his little head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RED4LIFE Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 I knew a young woman from EalingShe had a peculiar feelingShe led on her back and opened her crackAnd pished all over the ceiling!Not very topical, but its the best I could doNice one Mozo on the Dagest one though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 Not very topical, but its the best I could doNice one Mozo on the Dagest one though.What do you mean it's not very topical? You clearly don't know much about my personal life! I hope Dagest likes my last one, it took bloody ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted March 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 What do you mean it's not very topical? You clearly don't know much about my personal life! I hope Dagest likes my last one, it took bloody ages.Very good chum. I'm truly touched. Not 100% accurate though, thank you very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 27, 2006 Report Share Posted March 27, 2006 Very good chum. I'm truly touched. Not 100% accurate though, thank you very much.you mean you don't wear a beret?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukejones2 Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 There was a young man named MozWho appraantly didnt have a JobOr maybe he didBut on the forum he hidAnd was P45'd his last Bob.There was a young pisshead WtFiGOHe looked a bit like Sammy IgoeLikes a beer and a reeferHe's not a big sleeperHe's a proper good bloke that's what I know!There was a young man called LukeJones2Who decided that it's half past one and he should try to get to sleep again or he'll be hanging in the morning! Night all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 There was a young man called BazWho was boning this mate that he hasMidway through the pokeShe mentioned her blokeAnd he wished he'd stuck with porn magsThat's for you Barry_manc That certaintly brought a tear to my () eye.Here you are:Once upon a time a man called MoztrodamousUsed vile themed threads to try and harm usThe Mods didn't like it, they said "Trev you pikey,Leave Moz and get to the Bahamas." Before he completely destroys every innocent little mind on this friendly family forum.Debauchery will get you nowhere young man, unless you become a sag in which case it's fairly advisable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Heres one for the Southville trio:Look at poor young SophsBeing hounded by horny teensThen look at Nogbad and Turnip, you'll seeThat sex appeal's in the genes! You're too kind, mozo. Mind you there is a 4th member of the clan, Mrs the Bad, who must take alot of the credit for the bonny offspring. Don't expect to see her contributing here in the near future though, strangely she seems to consider these City forums public enemy number 2 at the moment, after Hollowhead of course. She's a wonderful woman. I shall offer a riposte in kind once i've garnished a bit more info... all i've got from Sophs & various threads at the mo is "caravan in Temple Meads, Giraffe called Trevor who goes joyriding with Dinks , jealous bloke called Dagest lives in cupboard , trainspotter..." all sounds a bit odd to me, there again i'm well aware i've become overly conventional these days so perhaps this is nearer the norm than i'd realised. Oh, and of course the disturbing Chris Eubank thing...... not much to go on, but expect an ode in your honour in the near future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 She's a wonderful woman. Cheers for that Nogbad, am now having to clean lumpy bits of vomit out of my keyboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Cheers for that Nogbad, am now having to clean lumpy bits of vomit out of my keyboard. You don't reckon a woman who rates Hollowhead as Public Enemy number 1 deserves such adulation WTF? My apologies your vomit was not more powerfully projectile. :vomit2: :ProgrammePC: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurrayLives Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 Cheers for that Nogbad, am now having to clean lumpy bits of vomit out of my keyboard.Have you ever tried turning a keyboard upside down.It was like crumb city last time I did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 You don't reckon a woman who rates Hollowhead as Public Enemy number 1 deserves such adulation WTF? Ofcourse I do!I just went and took the comment out of context, for a change. (I have very weird interpretation's on, um, things)I thought you'd come over all soppy and it made me throw up what with me being the girt 'ard man's man that I am.Have you ever tried turning a keyboard upside down.It was like crumb city last time I did it.No, but that's something I can look forward to in the morning, hopefully it'll be dry by then (otherwise I'll have to get my Mum's hairdrier out), It was more liquidised that what I really would have hoped for under the circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurrayLives Posted March 28, 2006 Report Share Posted March 28, 2006 No, but that's something I can look forward to in the morning, hopefully it'll be dry by then (otherwise I'll have to get my Mum's hairdrier out), It was more liquidised that what I really would have hoped for under the circumstances.Gives a whole new meaning to 'sticky keys' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 As promised, In honour of mozo ("quite a long one") If you're looking for the caravan, That fulfills all mozo's needs, Go past salubrious Southville, And head for Temple Meads. He doesn't live luxuriously, In fact it's quite a wreck His live-in pal is Trevor - There's an extension for his neck. The days pass quickly, trainspotting, In ectasy with Trevor, Oh, what fun the two pals have Man, and Giraffe, together. Every night they settle down, With the Bristol City Forum, His missives often raise a brow, Not known for their decorum. He'll be sat there in his City hat, Eyes glazed as if in trance, Pumping on his keyboard, With Chris Eubank in his pants. Dagest's lurking in his cupboard, His palour's sickly green, :vomit2: Is this due to jealousy?- Or the shocking things he's seen. Astounding tales of Dolly, WTF and Soph's regale us, As for Dinky's 'joyriding' Well....words begin to fail us. So clearly mozo's wacky yarns Are worthy of a sonnet The zaniest are yet to come - I'd put my Mortgage on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 As promised, In honour of mozo ("quite a long one") If you're looking for the caravan, That fulfills all mozo's needs, Go past salubrious Southville, And head for Temple Meads. He doesn't live luxuriously, In fact it's quite a wreck His live-in pal is Trevor - There's an extension for his neck. The days pass quickly, trainspotting, In ectasy with Trevor, Oh, what fun the two pals have Man, and Giraffe, together. Every night they settle down, With the Bristol City Forum, His missives often raise a brow, Not known for their decorum. He'll be sat there in his City hat, Eyes glazed as if in trance, Pumping on his keyboard, With Chris Eubank in his pants. Dagest's lurking in his cupboard, His palour's sickly green, :vomit2: Is this due to jealousy?- Or the shocking things he's seen. Astounding tales of Dolly, WTF and Soph's regale us, As for Dinky's 'joyriding' Well....words begin to fail us. So clearly mozo's wacky yarns Are worthy of a sonnet The zaniest are yet to come - I'd put my Mortgage on it. Love it. Doesn't come close to the 'crap poetry' criteria, but nor should it. I never realised my life was so glamourous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurrayLives Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 As promised, In honour of mozo ("quite a long one") If you're looking for the caravan, That fulfills all mozo's needs, Go past salubrious Southville, And head for Temple Meads. He doesn't live luxuriously, In fact it's quite a wreck His live-in pal is Trevor - There's an extension for his neck. The days pass quickly, trainspotting, In ectasy with Trevor, Oh, what fun the two pals have Man, and Giraffe, together. Every night they settle down, With the Bristol City Forum, His missives often raise a brow, Not known for their decorum. He'll be sat there in his City hat, Eyes glazed as if in trance, Pumping on his keyboard, With Chris Eubank in his pants. Dagest's lurking in his cupboard, His palour's sickly green, :vomit2: Is this due to jealousy?- Or the shocking things he's seen. Astounding tales of Dolly, WTF and Soph's regale us, As for Dinky's 'joyriding' Well....words begin to fail us. So clearly mozo's wacky yarns Are worthy of a sonnet The zaniest are yet to come - I'd put my Mortgage on it. That's better than my Mozo-related poem (not hard really) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 Good stuff Mr the Bad, more reason why Mrs the Bad is getting slightly :@ with OTIB I suspect. (don't tell me you knocked that one out in 5 minutes flat!)Had to look up 'regale', and 'yarn' for that matter. Yes, I'll go along with both the line's concerning them and in deed I thank you good Sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 29, 2006 Report Share Posted March 29, 2006 That's better than my Mozo-related poem (not hard really)Don't worry bud, they're all going to be included in the forthcoming publication 'Mozo: the dedicated poetry collection'. Should be out in time Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted March 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 As promised, In honour of mozo ("quite a long one") If you're looking for the caravan, That fulfills all mozo's needs, Go past salubrious Southville, And head for Temple Meads. He doesn't live luxuriously, In fact it's quite a wreck His live-in pal is Trevor - There's an extension for his neck. The days pass quickly, trainspotting, In ectasy with Trevor, Oh, what fun the two pals have Man, and Giraffe, together. Every night they settle down, With the Bristol City Forum, His missives often raise a brow, Not known for their decorum. He'll be sat there in his City hat, Eyes glazed as if in trance, Pumping on his keyboard, With Chris Eubank in his pants. Dagest's lurking in his cupboard, His palour's sickly green, :vomit2: Is this due to jealousy?- Or the shocking things he's seen. Astounding tales of Dolly, WTF and Soph's regale us, As for Dinky's 'joyriding' Well....words begin to fail us. So clearly mozo's wacky yarns Are worthy of a sonnet The zaniest are yet to come - I'd put my Mortgage on it. I almost missed this. Great effort. That's the best crap poem of all I think.Pumping on his keyboard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 In honour of mozo ("quite a long one")I like to be modest about things like that, but thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 I like to be modest about things like that, but thanks! Walls have ears and Giraffe's have uncontrollable tongues. :razz: My info comes straight from the Giraffe's mouth. Trevor said you had "quite a long one, and one it would be kinder not to mention". So naturally i didn't. :sport19: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Walls have ears and Giraffe's have uncontrollable tongues. :razz: My info comes straight from the Giraffe's mouth. Trevor said you had "quite a long one, and one it would be kinder not to mention". So naturally i didn't. :sport19: You could say that giraffes bring a whole new meaning to the phrase 'deep throat'! Ahem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 You could say that giraffes bring a whole new meaning to the phrase 'deep throat'! Ahem. Well you'd know all about that wouldn't you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nogbad the Bad Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 You could say that giraffes bring a whole new meaning to the phrase 'deep throat'! Ahem. Well you could, probably best not to though It's really not a very palatable thought. Mind you there must be a reason why Trevor always seems to be pictured in the act of licking his lips? Just an innocent chewy, munchy Giraffey thing surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted March 30, 2006 Report Share Posted March 30, 2006 Well you could, probably best not to though It's really not a very palatable thought. Mind you there must be a reason why Trevor always seems to be pictured in the act of licking his lips? Just an innocent chewy, munchy Giraffey thing surely? As you know, I was merely referring to the fact that their necks are long. Innuendo, moi? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 As promised, In honour of mozo ("quite a long one") If you're looking for the caravan, That fulfills all mozo's needs, Go past salubrious Southville, And head for Temple Meads. He doesn't live luxuriously, In fact it's quite a wreck His live-in pal is Trevor - There's an extension for his neck. The days pass quickly, trainspotting, In ectasy with Trevor, Oh, what fun the two pals have Man, and Giraffe, together. Every night they settle down, With the Bristol City Forum, His missives often raise a brow, Not known for their decorum. He'll be sat there in his City hat, Eyes glazed as if in trance, Pumping on his keyboard, With Chris Eubank in his pants. Dagest's lurking in his cupboard, His palour's sickly green, :vomit2: Is this due to jealousy?- Or the shocking things he's seen. Astounding tales of Dolly, WTF and Soph's regale us, As for Dinky's 'joyriding' Well....words begin to fail us. So clearly mozo's wacky yarns Are worthy of a sonnet The zaniest are yet to come - I'd put my Mortgage on it. Completely missed this, its fab! We want more!! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ron Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Roses are Red,Violets are blue.I must be blind,and so must be you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 To the Tune of Stewart is a ***thead Bas Savage is a legendHe falls over blades of grassSome people call him a ****kerBut I love our bas insteadHe makes the fans all chuckleHes not quite Bristol born and bredAnd if he sees a goalmouth He just falls over instead!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagest Posted April 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 To the Tune of Stewart is a ***thead Bas Savage is a legendHe falls over blades of grassSome people call him a ****kerBut I love our bas insteadHe makes the fans all chuckleHes not quite Bristol born and bredAnd if he sees a goalmouth He just falls over instead!!!!! You have hidden talents Doll.I wanted to go and give him a cuddle didn't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted April 1, 2006 Report Share Posted April 1, 2006 I wanted to go and give him a cuddle didn't you? As we were winning yes I did, but had he been on for the winner in the 92nd minute when he fell over I may not have been so nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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