SirColinOfMansfield

Can't forget the Infamous Minibus Headbutter...

Not forgetting the great Feng Shui Scam! Feng phooey prank cons the Rovers A football club was caught offside when it fell for a feng shui scam at the hands of television pranksters. Guy de Beaujeu and Patrick Stockhausen persuaded Bristol Rovers officials they could enhance the club's results by such devices as installing a fish tank containing plastic fish behind the goal and ordering staff to make sure all toilet seats were down at all times. Their other requirements included erecting an ornamental ceramic frog above the stadium entrance, placing potted house plants in all four corners of the players' dressing room, and hanging wind chimes around the stadium. Gullible staff carried out all the recommendations made by the "experts in the ancient Chinese art" in an effort to beat second division rivals Gillingham. But the mumbo jumbo failed to create the right aura - and Rovers lost 1-0. Yesterday Mr De Beaujeu, 32, said: "They fell for it, hook, line and sinker. They did everything we asked without question." Mr De Beaujeu and Mr Stockhausen, who are based in Bristol, staged the stunt for a comedy series, The Gatecrashers, which they filmed last year for ITV2. One of their producers telephoned Bristol Rovers and told the club they were making a documentary about the power of feng shui. The ancient art is believed to balance one's surroundings and induce general well-being. Rovers agreed to let the pair into their Memorial Ground stadium in the hope that this might boost the team's performance. The duo duly arrived with a cameraman two hours before the kick-off of Rovers' tie against Gillingham, armed with bags of supposed feng shui paraphernalia. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2000/jan/20/newsstory.sport1

Best comment on Twitter ... "Are Bristol Rovers a shambles club and morally bankrupt because Joey Barton is there or is Joey Barton there because they are a shambles club that is morally bankrupt?"

Why would anybody want to look elsewhere after witnessing this?! "Little is known about Al Saeed, and this is believed to be his first venture in European football, but he was present at the pre-season friendly against Eastleigh at Silverlake Stadium"

... and it will happen when you look up and see this ...

Wael Al Qadi had no problems at all with his last planning application once the relevant "palms" had been suitably greased ...

They are in the process of updating their signs before the start of the new season as the place is still very much a building site ... ... from this ... ... to this ...

A lot of people are really underestimating the ability of Rovers to get things done. It took less than 6 months of detailed planning & project management from the directors and the entire management team to come up with this beauty, so surely the new stand is in good hands???

Is that a poorly constructed concrete ramp? ... or the steady outflow of something disgusting and unmentionable from within?

It is a good job they didn't post any photos of the changing rooms where they can try on all the "merchandise" before they parade the famous quarters out in public ...

I was just wondering how ChatGPT would address the issue of a football club starting work on a new stand without planning permission ... and if anybody from the BCC planning department reads this, feel free to forward it on (no need to thank me!) Subject: Unauthorized Construction of Football Stand despite Pending Planning Permission Dear Wael Al-Qadi, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you on behalf of the Planning Department at Bristol City Council to address a critical matter concerning the ongoing construction of the football stand at the Bristol Rovers Football Club premises. We have been made aware that your organization has applied for planning permission for the construction of the football stand. While we acknowledge your intent to follow the proper procedures, we must emphasize that the current construction has commenced without the necessary planning permission being granted. As per our records, the submitted planning application lacks essential details and comprehensive plans, which are crucial for evaluating the project's compliance with the city's planning regulations. We understand that enhancing the sporting facilities is a priority for the club, and we appreciate your desire to improve the amenities for the community. However, it is imperative that all construction activities adhere strictly to the stipulated planning guidelines and receive formal approval before proceeding. Unauthorized construction poses potential risks to public safety and can lead to significant legal repercussions for the club and its stakeholders. In light of the above, we must insist that all construction work related to the football stand is immediately halted until the planning permission is officially granted by the Bristol City Council. To expedite the approval process, we strongly advise submitting a revised planning application with comprehensive and detailed plans, addressing any concerns raised during the evaluation of the initial application. Please note that the Bristol City Council takes non-compliance with planning regulations seriously and may initiate enforcement actions if unauthorized construction persists. We are committed to working with the Bristol Rovers Football Club to ensure a lawful and safe development that benefits the community and adheres to all relevant guidelines. We urge you to take prompt action in rectifying this situation and cooperating fully with the Planning Department to resolve the matter efficiently. Should you require any assistance or guidance during the planning application process, our team is readily available to support you. Your immediate attention to this matter is appreciated. We look forward to receiving your cooperation and compliance to ensure the proper and lawful development of the football stand. Yours sincerely, P.S. Don't forget Row M

Rovers have just published the names of the attendees already signed up to show how popular the club on the North side of Bristol really is, so you will have to be quick as all the places have nearly been taken:- Ader Titsoff Adolf Oliver Nipple A. Nellsechs A. Nelprober A.S. Muncher Amanda D. P. Throat Amanda Hugginkiss Amanda Hump Amanda Lick Amanda Mount Amanda Poker Andy Cornholder Andy Feltherbush Andy Felthersnatch Anita B. Jainow Anita Bath Anita Dick Anita Dickenme Anita Dump Anita Fartinghouse Anita Hanjaab Anita Hardcok Anita Head Anita Hoare Anita Naylor Annie Position Anya Neeze Annie Position Banana Hammock Bartolos Colonoscopy Bea O’Problem Ben Derhover Ben Gurgen Hoffe Ben N. Syder Ben O. Verbich Ben R. Over Benoit Bawles Berry McCaulkiner Betty Drilzzer Betty Humper Betty Humpter Betty Phuckzer Bruce D. Cocque Bo N. Herr Brooke N. Rubbers Bruce D. Cocque Bruce D. Lipps Buck Nekkid Buster Cherry Buster Himen Clee Torres C. Mike Rack Cole Ostamie Colin Forsecs Connie Lingus Craven Moorehead Curley Pubes Dang Lin-Wang Daryl B. Payne Dick Long Dick Myaz Dick Nose Dick Pound Dick Ramdass Dick Raasch Dill Doe Dixie Normous Dixie Rect Dixon B. Tweenerlegs Dixon Butts Dixon Kuntz Drew Peanoze E. Norma Scock E. Norma Stits E. Normous Peter E. Rex Sean Eaton Beaver Eileen Ulick Eaton Beaver Eileen Ulick Fluffy Cookie Gazzy Colon Harry Azcrac Harry Cox Harry Johnson Hairy Poppins Heywood Japulmah Finga I. C. Yadick I. P. Freely Ivana Tinkle Jenny Tayla Kenny Dewitt Laffmy Titsoff Kareem O’Weet Lance Lyde Lee Keyrear Lee Nover Leo Tarred Lipin Jection Lou Briccant Lon Moore Lou Sirr Luke Atmyass Madka Owdiseez Martha Fokker Marion Money Mark Z. Spot Mary Juana Master Bates May I. Tutchem Maya Buttreeks Max E. Mumm Max E. Pad Mel Keetehts Michael Toris Mike Rotchburns Miya Buttreaks Nadia Seymour Nick O’ Teen Oliver Closeoff Ollie Tabooger Pat Myaz Patty Meltt Phil Down Peter Pantz Pierre Pants Phil Accio Poppa Woody Rhoda Hotte Robin D. Craydle Roch Myaz Ron Chee Rueben G. Spaut Sal Ami Semour Asscrack Seymour Buttz Sheeza Freak Stella Virgin Ura Snotball Vye Agra Vye Brator Wayne Kerr Willie B. Hardigan Willie Eetmioutt Willie Layer Wilma Dickfit Wilma Fingerdoo Yuri Nator

Away fans have already started practising so they will be able to watch the game when they visit the legendry Mem....

After Wael Al Qadi & Barton both show off their watches to show how nice (and rich) they are, they have just launched the Official Bristol Rovers Club Watch that epitomises the very essence of the team ...

Your manager certainly left an impression at QPR...

Aggregate score after 2 x 60 minute matches ... Bluebirds - 2 Jailbirds - 1

The scene at Rovers HQ today ... ... meanwhile in the real world, the rest of the world learns more about Bristol's Family Club ... The Mirror - https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/bristol-rovers-jevani-brown-fined-30414747 The Sun - https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/22967574/bristol-rovers-footballer-attack-woman-nightclub/ US Times Post - https://ustimespost.com/bristol-rovers-star-jevani-brown-spat-at-and-slapped-woman-outside-nightclub-after-she-tried-to-stop-row-with-bouncer/ BBC - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-66134479 ITV - https://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/2023-07-07/footballer-fined-5k-for-slapping-and-spitting-at-woman-outside-nightclub

How inconvenient that everything posted on the web gets archived! So shame on Wael Al Qadi for being a hypocritical scumbag and removing his original posting rather than standing by his word! https://web.archive.org/web/20210728181132/https://www.bristolrovers.co.uk/news/2021/july/Wael-al-qadi-letter/ Club News Club President's Open Letter to Fans... 27 July 2021 Club President Wael Al Qadi has today penned an open letter to supporters... Dear Gasheads, I have been here with you now for nearly five and a half years. I hope that through that time you have seen and felt my passion for this club, my openness with supporters and my understanding of the emotions that you feel on a day-to-day basis. We have a diverse fanbase, as was celebrated in our recent kit launch campaign and all supporters are welcome at The Mem to enjoy watching our club together. However, the past four days have been tough for us all and I have seen first-hand that there is division within the fanbase which is not what we want heading into a new season. Firstly, I think it is really important to confirm that as a club we stand firmly against any form of violence. Any individual that is found guilty of any such offences will be dismissed immediately. I understand the concerns expressed by a number of you. However, in line with the basic principles of British law, it is my view that you are innocent until proven guilty. I have seen and understand the response to the statement that was released last night. Given that this is a legal matter, what we can and can’t say as a club is heavily restricted. That said, I think it is important that some context is given to the comment regarding victimless crimes as I know that has caused some distress. The phrase is a legal term referring to cases in which the victim is either unknown or has not made a complaint/engaged with the police enquiries. We in no way meant to belittle charges of domestic abuse. I know that this may have been misinterpreted in the statement last night and I wholeheartedly apologise to anyone that was offended. As has been well publicised we are partners with the team at HerGameToo and continue to play an active role in supporting that initiative. Furthermore, before we were aware of this issue we agreed last week to support a Domestic Violence campaign which we will continue to do heading into the new season. In addition, in 2018 we partnered with the Southmead Project who provide free counselling and support for survivors of abuse and addiction across Bristol and surrounding areas. All of these causes are at the heart of our football club and we will continue to do all we can to support those in need. This period will have undoubtedly strained relationships, however, I hope that we can retain your trust and confidence as we look to continue to build the club and support our wider community. I hope that you can all join me in getting behind the team this season, we need your support now more than ever. FTG Wael Club President Bristol Rovers Football Club Club News

That could work! ... and so easy to relocate when they move to the Fruit Market or when they steal another ground ...

I think we all know what it looks like when Rovers are equipped to go on a promotion drive ...

I thought I would buy a season ticket for the new stand as it will be the place to be in 2023...

Thanks to Henbury Gas, it had a happy ending!

Just as a reminder, this is the biggest claim to fame for Henbury Gas, ...

I think this must be the first time they have shown a new signing that actually looks happy in the photos! Says it all! https://www.bristolrovers.co.uk/news/2023/june/brown-signs-for-rovers/