Sir Colby-Tit

The Gas prefer to recruit from Turbo Island

Scunny to score in the final 30 seconds, with the scorer to run the length of the pitch, cupping his ear, in front of the knuckle dragging, frothing gastards. Too much to ask?

Unbelievable Jeff

Don't panic, Evil Uncle Steve is currently sat in his secret underground base in the Channel Islands, and will demand...

I'm not renewing after 25 years of having a season ticket. Nothing to do with the shite football of the last few seasons though. Hit with redundancy last year, and have decided to sell up and start a new chapter in life with the other half in the New Forest. Bit gutted to be honest, but will make it for a few select games I expect.

Do you know they were "coked up", or is this an assumption? Not saying you're wrong, but hear this a lot at the moment, and wonder how people know?

It was a solid tackle

In the full clip a male streaker runs on to the pitch. One nun immediately had a stroke. The others didn't touch it.

Bryan vs Man United Bryan vs Man United Bryan vs Man United Bryan vs Man United Bryan vs Man United

How rude! Going back a bit when I last saw Bideford, they had an City goalie, Mark Coombe, not sure he even made an appearance for City mind

The ex wife's uncle is Chairman of Bideford Town, used to have a good crack watching them, nothing like grass roots footy. They absolutely ****ing hate Barnstaple

That flick mind

A few years back, when he played against us at AG, a bloke near to me in the Dullmoan yelled at him " Oi, Drinkwater, drink cider you ****" ?

Seems that it's not working on Virgin

Same, grrrrrr

That secret underground base and army of evil henchmen isn't going to pay for itself!

My prediction as well, 14/1 on bet365 ?

To any Baaaaadiff bog smashers reading this, when the ASSTITs catch up with you, urine the shit.

The Atyeo Stand Steward Toilet Investigation Team (who aren't keen on acronyms), are struggling to complete their investigation, as after the incident they have nothing to go on.

I wouldn't say it's embarrassing, happens at every club when ex players return. Always going to happen at a derby game. It's just pantomime really, and I'm sure Pack and Flint expected it, and weren't worried about it or offended by it.

Well, this is awkward

Chicken

Just popped into the Shakespeare on Victoria Street for a cheeky pint and it's full of Derby yoot, sporting a fine selection of Stone Island and chequered scarves. They're currently singing some dirge about the granny shagger

Could get nervy if San Marino score in the first eight seconds