BTRFTG

The Phoenix Club starting XI - we shouldn't mock.....

Anfield and Goodison would be Saturday afternoon wastelands....

I think if you look closely it's not in any carrier rather his 'cargo' is causing them cargo pants to swing mighty low......

Take care, there was that season we played at Black Layer Road..... .

Looks like they've forgotten not one but both 'rakes'....

Please don't tell me that's the new Rocaro Dug Out seats The Gas' new groundsman has purchased?

Normally I'd agree but given some of the 'chairs' ( of the patio, stacking variety) deployed at The House of Hair that isn't the case. As my lardy backside can attest the slightest lateral movement when under pressure is prone to lead to a deformed chair ( which you'll agree is still a chair) but one that no longer offers seating vantage.

No it isn't. For it to be libellous the published statement would have to be defamatory, it would have to damage or tarnish the subject's reputation. That he plays for Ragbag Rovers at the House of Hair and has fluked a single goal in 16 league appearances... Reputation, how further might that fall?

Its called 'logging out' I believe.....

I wouldn't be so sure. In his latest post he confesses to be a small time operator running a loss making business. And he professes an affinity with The Gas - all rings true to me.. .

Come, come. Don't be so shy. All Gasheads are familiar with having to deploy artificial contrivances in failed attempts to keep them up........

That's below the belt. Having all those unlagged water pipes burst on you in the middle of winter is no laughing matter ....

I recall that when I used to spend time in Arabia that the English translation for the arab style of tent was 'House of Hair' (given that's what they were traditionally made from.) What say we drop all reference to The Mem and henceforth refer to their abode as The House Of Hair?

They've already relaid using Fibresand and I hope, like one or two nags I've backed in my time, they're as useless on the all-weather as they are on turf. ...

I see The Evil is reporting (sic) that the pitch issues last year were due to them using '...the wrong type of sand...' when laying the pitch. Now if there's one thing you'd think their Arab owners would know about....

And long may that remain so - just imagine the potential for 'reality' shots...

Always wondered what Badly Bred Boy looked like without his hat and beard.

And so the dust settles.... The only people who appear surprised by yesterday's result are those who swallowed the hype that we were, perhaps, at long last the real deal (despite having a woeful run of results amidst decent performances.) First half Sunderland were utterly without merit; we should have been 5 up. We were undone by our usual combination of failings: wasteful in front of goal, too ponderous and over-elaborate, indisciplined and dodgy set-up. Upfront: perm any 8 from 10 and with the exception of Flint's touch we were wasteful. Diggeridio should have scored a hat trick, Kent's Diony's and Patterson's finishing left everything to be desired and Bryan needs to understand his rocket wonder strikes are as rare as rocking-horse. Reid sparkled best when he dropped back looking for the ball to where he should play and where he's most productive. Offensively he again wasn't remotely a threat. Ponderous: Diony doesn't fit Weelee's pattern of play (don't know why we acquired him but that doesn't make him a bad player,) and for all the neat triangles we would have created dozens more chances had we someone with speed of thought and vision to get the ball upfront quicker. In that respect we're akin Arsenal, flatter to look good yet will win now't trying to walk the thing into the net. First half our mids didn't get overrun as The Mackams were still on the coach; second half we showed our anticipated failings once equalised numbers were restored. WeeLee needs to decide whether it's stick or bust. Indiscipline: 3 up cruising yet on the card front 2 down, all from stupid, niggly and unnecessary offences and that's before Bryan again opened his gob. Smith's all about combat but he needs to better pick his battles. Needless yellow and he's then always a yard on the defensive and it cost us. Digeridoo's card was utter stupidity. Ref very lenient on Wright who walked a tightrope after several reckless challenges and who although escaping a yellow looked on several occasions as if a red was coming his way. It cost us as it has on many occasions this season and WeeLee needs to get a grip. Set-up: Brownhill is the new Skuse, Weelee's go to fill-in but give the kid a chance. Find his best position (clue - it ain't Right Back) and let him play there. Reid is not an out-and-out striker; play him in the hole. Bryan is an absolute and utter liability at Left Back. He may be one of our own, at Left Back we should wish he was one of theirs. Not sure if he believes his own hype but he sure as hell thinks he can stand 5 yards off his opponent (strange a grammar school boy is unable to work out why the ball keeps going past him.) He also believes he's quick enough to react when standing off his opponent - yeah, in your dreams lad. The free-kick for their second (yes I know the ref failed to make them take it from the right spot,) came from him arrogantly assuming he'd got the guy for pace. Wrong. The equaliser - oh yeah, same problem. In respect of open play perhaps some of you hereabouts can answer a question that's been bothering a few of us for months: when we are forced on the defensive why does our back four go so narrow? They all fit inside the 6 yard box. For the life of me I can't fathom why our competent centre backs are unable to mop up balls in, with full backs going wide to shut out supply? Our mids, there are enough of them, should easily pick up the offensive runs into the centre of the box. It's clearly a well worked WeeLee drill but too often sees the full backs marking nothing more than the junction of the 6 yard box. They've no influence over high balls in or those pulled back to the edge of the box. It's not all doom and gloom, we didn't lose although it felt as if we had. But Fearless, for Christ sake sort that kicking out. ...

If ever there was a quote that defines the chasm between our respective standings and aspirations this is it. Being berated for having an expansive stadium fully compliant with Approved Document G, where risk of illness and disease is minimised through deployment of 21st century sanitary-ware. Where consumables are prepared in spotless kitchens and served to the highest standard. Because atmosphere to me has always been ****ing in a hole in the ground, ****ing in a **** strewn portaloo and scoffing a mechanically recovered meat product served from the rear of a cut-n-shut former ambulance, warmed through by an untrained operative for whom cleanliness involves rubbing their hands over the nearest tree post taking a dump. We're not just leagues apart, were centuries distant.........

With all talk of the pitch thought I'd make an exception and check out the lowlights. Didn't look that bad to me. Only 'puddle' I could see was the Centre Half's pile of **** challenge (sic) in allowing Shrews opener. Shrews winger seemed not to have a close ball control issue on the surface when waltzing past four defenders to score from an acute angle. Highlight has to be The Littlest Hobo's Lord Of The Tramps jig after conceding the winner. Delightful.

Given the state of their stadium (sic), lack of funds for maintenance and a storm brewing I've an inkling we might soon be singing - What's Weal gonna do with a chimney on him?

You've forgotten Slarti one can never have too many 'dropped kerbs' and they don't come cheap......

Unless there have been mass suspensions at the Unmemorable the risk the you highlight appears to relate wholly to the premise you've just articulated. Luckily for you there's little hope of ever proving wilful damage against an individual given there are a minimum eleven, clog-footed argriculturalists harrowing both pitch and spectator's sensibilities each week.

Playing for Hibernia? That's his level, Post Brexit Pub League. Lest not forget Clarkson, he who moved in the opposite direction, was the highest performing 'publican' at the point we signed him and don't recall too much upset our side at the services he provided them. Class is permanent, Glass (or what's in it) varies region to region. Make mine a Buckfast.........

McClaren truly is the 'Wally with the Brolly' but he called it pretty much spot on. With no offensive threat we're a danger to few. Decent passing football reinforced by an over abundance in midfield which, frankly, had served us well so far, but we're miles off the best in this League and will have performed far beyond expectation should we make the Play-Offs. There's no shame in that and WeeLee will have proved exceptional were he to get us there given the resources at his disposal. Don't get me wrong I love the squad , but if we are to progress then, simply, many aren't good enough. Truth sometimes hurts.