Never feel alone, It's good to talk !!

[Vespa Red]

10 hours ago, phantom said:

That is very true.  I also find that any act of kindness, however small, makes me want to cry at the moment.

I think that I may be depressed which is understandable I guess.

[BigTone]

7 hours ago, Vespa Red said:

That is very true.  I also find that any act of kindness, however small, makes me want to cry at the moment.

I think that I may be depressed which is understandable I guess.

Very understandable 

[Lew-T]

Thinking of you @Vespa Red. God bless you mate! 
 

Cherish those last moments and she will always be there with you. 

[Ecko]

My Grandma has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it has seemingly spread to her heart...tragic as she was only diagnosed 6 weeks ago. I'm absolutely gutted and devastated with the news; I'm 30 years old and luckily have all 4 grandparents, so haven't had to deal with anything like this before. 

It has also put my life into perspective and I need to prioritise my health. I was thinking of doing annual health checks (privately). Has anyone got any recommendations on who to use? 

[Robbored]

Unless you have a history of poor health why, at the age of 30 would you want a health check? 

As for a loss in the family - sadly it’s a common enough occurrence but chronologically g’parents go first. Certainly that was the case in my family and I guess many others families as well. 

Grief is normal, everyone goes through it but overtime it eases. I was very close to my maternal Nan but she’s been gone 30+years and now I have lovely fond memories of her love and kindness and cooking! and allow myself to feel sad but the grief I felt has long past.

When she passes on you will grieve as will the rest of your family - you won’t be alone and you’ll cope with the loss - just remember that grieving is not reserved just for you. It’s perfectly normal when a loved one passes on so allow yourself to go through the process of emotionally healing.

Whatever you do - don’t resist it.

[ExiledAjax]

13 hours ago, Ecko said:

My Grandma has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and it has seemingly spread to her heart...tragic as she was only diagnosed 6 weeks ago. I'm absolutely gutted and devastated with the news; I'm 30 years old and luckily have all 4 grandparents, so haven't had to deal with anything like this before. 

It has also put my life into perspective and I need to prioritise my health. I was thinking of doing annual health checks (privately). Has anyone got any recommendations on who to use? 

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope you can enjoy some more time with her before she dies.

On your other point, I am also in my early 30s. I had a private health check when I was 25, and get one every few years now as well. I get mine free through work so am in a slightly odd position. However I'll give you the following advice.

If you can be honest with yourself then at our age you (with a little help from NHS online) can probably do a fair self-assessment. A private assessment will mainly be asking about lifestyle - how much do you drink, smoke, exercise etc. What's your diet? Do you do drugs? It's that kind of stuff. If you're honest with yourself then you likely know your vices and paying a Dr to tell you them may jot be useful.

On top of that they'll weigh and measure you, and do some basic tests to see how your flexibility is holding up. Height and weight you can do at home and the Internet can advise on what is healthy. With flexibility - can you touch your toes? Can you do a beginners yoga video on YouTube? Can you touch your hands together behind your back. Oh the other good test is can you stand up from a cross-legged seating position without touching anything with your hands?

Anything above that, stuff like bone density scans, full heart rate measurements, prostate stuff, gastro checks - all that is extra and will only be done if you or the Dr have any particular concerns. 

Edited September 18, 2021 by ExiledAjax

[City oz]

On 11/09/2021 at 14:45, BigTone said:

Very understandable 

Very understandable and also very true. Emotional times affect people in different ways. We all need support in our lives and we all need to make sure we ask the question are you OK. 

[Mattredrobin]

Hey everyone been really struggling recently already have depression and the last month health wise has been a nightmare, now i'll warn you this is'nt pretty so i apologise in advance, i went to the doctors about 6 weeks ago with pain in my rectal area, they told me nothing to worry about and was abit of constipation and they saw i had pile they gave me some laxitive to take and some cream, a week later i was in excruciating pain even though the powder was working, i rang the doctor again and they told me keep up the treatment a week after that the pain was unbareable calls to the doctor, 111, and a trip to a&e got me no where just got told change you're diet, but i was telling this pain was'nt right, tuesday last week i then started pouring with blood and had mucus and all sorts it was vile, finally 111 tell me go to hospital, to then be told i have blood infection and a burst abcess and would need a operation... this has been the worst month of my life i feel really let down by people who should be able to help even now i need bandages changed and been told by a nurse it's impossible to change and have to hope it does'nt get infected, even nurses in hospital said how bad it's got now with gp's not really caring to much they just want you in and out, have to rest for 2 weeks now and not over do it but i'm struggling emotionally and worry there is more to come with this.  

[Vespa Red]

9 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Hey everyone been really struggling recently already have depression and the last month health wise has been a nightmare, now i'll warn you this is'nt pretty so i apologise in advance, i went to the doctors about 6 weeks ago with pain in my rectal area, they told me nothing to worry about and was abit of constipation and they saw i had pile they gave me some laxitive to take and some cream, a week later i was in excruciating pain even though the powder was working, i rang the doctor again and they told me keep up the treatment a week after that the pain was unbareable calls to the doctor, 111, and a trip to a&e got me no where just got told change you're diet, but i was telling this pain was'nt right, tuesday last week i then started pouring with blood and had mucus and all sorts it was vile, finally 111 tell me go to hospital, to then be told i have blood infection and a burst abcess and would need a operation... this has been the worst month of my life i feel really let down by people who should be able to help even now i need bandages changed and been told by a nurse it's impossible to change and have to hope it does'nt get infected, even nurses in hospital said how bad it's got now with gp's not really caring to much they just want you in and out, have to rest for 2 weeks now and not over do it but i'm struggling emotionally and worry there is more to come with this.  

Sorry to read this @Mattredrobin.  It sounds horrible and I hope that the pain is now under control.

I understand how the uncertainty about what is going on is tortuous. Is there a District Nursing service you can approach locally about the bandages?

[Mattredrobin]

45 minutes ago, Vespa Red said:

Sorry to read this @Mattredrobin.  It sounds horrible and I hope that the pain is now under control.

I understand how the uncertainty about what is going on is tortuous. Is there a District Nursing service you can approach locally about the bandages?

Thank you not in much pain anymore thankfully, Yeah saw a nurse on friday got told i don't know what they expext me to do this is impossible, i said oh great so what am i meant to do she said hope it heals on it's own, i have appointments everyday next week with the same person so hopefully she can do it or at least check it's not infected, she also gave me a number for weekend distrct nurse who would'nt see me as i was'nt reffered by my gp 

[In the Net]

15 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Thank you not in much pain anymore thankfully, Yeah saw a nurse on friday got told i don't know what they expext me to do this is impossible, i said oh great so what am i meant to do she said hope it heals on it's own, i have appointments everyday next week with the same person so hopefully she can do it or at least check it's not infected, she also gave me a number for weekend distrct nurse who would'nt see me as i was'nt reffered by my gp 

Sorry to hear about what you've been through Matt.  A few years ago my son had an operation on his back and they filled the wound with packing, which had to be changed daily.  He was able to go to the local walk in centre to have this done, we only found this out by accident when one of the regular nurses didn't turn up at home, and after several hours he was in a lot of pain because the packing was starting to stick to the wound.  It might be worth you looking into this.  Good luck. 

[Mattredrobin]

On 27/09/2021 at 00:12, In the Net said:

Sorry to hear about what you've been through Matt.  A few years ago my son had an operation on his back and they filled the wound with packing, which had to be changed daily.  He was able to go to the local walk in centre to have this done, we only found this out by accident when one of the regular nurses didn't turn up at home, and after several hours he was in a lot of pain because the packing was starting to stick to the wound.  It might be worth you looking into this.  Good luck. 

Thank you luckily everything seems to be healing well, it's just where it's located making it difficult for them, my packing keeps falling out so not getting stuck thankfully just so glad to be out of pain. Just really hope that's it over, will definitely consider the walk in centre if for what ever reason the nurses can't see me. 

[phantom]

[Fordy62]

On 28/09/2021 at 13:05, Mattredrobin said:

Thank you luckily everything seems to be healing well, it's just where it's located making it difficult for them, my packing keeps falling out so not getting stuck thankfully just so glad to be out of pain. Just really hope that's it over, will definitely consider the walk in centre if for what ever reason the nurses can't see me. 

Hey mate. How you getting along?

[Mattredrobin]

2 hours ago, Fordy62 said:

Hey mate. How you getting along?

Was feeling fine until yesterday have pain again in the same area doctor just keeps telling me to take what they've given me was hoping as this is my last week off work I'd at least be able to drive and get to the shops and get myself to the nurse's appointments and go and see my son on Wednesday but at this moment I won't be able to do that, very thankful to my girlfriend who is driving me about whilst working from home thank you for asking appreciate it 

 

[Fordy62]

37 minutes ago, Mattredrobin said:

Was feeling fine until yesterday have pain again in the same area doctor just keeps telling me to take what they've given me was hoping as this is my last week off work I'd at least be able to drive and get to the shops and get myself to the nurse's appointments and go and see my son on Wednesday but at this moment I won't be able to do that, very thankful to my girlfriend who is driving me about whilst working from home thank you for asking appreciate it 

 

It’ll get better mate. You just have to try and see past it to a time where all of this is a distant fading memory. 

[Mattredrobin]

8 hours ago, Fordy62 said:

It’ll get better mate. You just have to try and see past it to a time where all of this is a distant fading memory. 

Yeah   won't be long 

[bcfcredandwhite]

Some heartbreaking stories on here. 

The closest I came to 'proper' depression was in 2003 when I'd lost  my job and couldn't find another. I began to BELIEVE that I was unemployable - I would never work again and my life was pointless. The money was running out and I had a wife and 3 kids to somehow support. I would go back to bed after everyone had gone to school (the wife was a teacher) and just try to shut out the world. I would get up again at about 11:30 and apply for 20 jobs per day online before going down the local pub for a few beers. That was my routine. The beer bit sounds nice, but it cost more money and I was racked with guilt afterwards - every day.

During that awful time I had to be very strict with myself to keep going. It really was like another person in my head telling me to keep it together. 

Luckily, I landed work in November of 2004 and have been in employment ever since. 

Since then I've lost my mum and I've suffered a really serious illness myself (Sepsis), which required major surgery and I was in hospital for 6 weeks, but even through those dark times I never felt as bad as I did in 2003-4.

Depression is real and can consume you if you allow it. 

Stay safe everyone, take care and be nice. Friends and family were my best aids during my dark days.

Edited October 6, 2021 by bcfcredandwhite

[Jerseybean]

[Jerseybean]

Support available in Bristol …… https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/world-mental-health-day-find-6032097?utm_source=bristol_live_newsletter&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter2&utm_medium=email

 

 

[Jerseybean]

[Jerseybean]

[ExiledAjax]

I've just watched the documentary on the BBC with Paul Merson, in which he talks about and explores the effects of his gambling addiction on his, and others' lives. It's arresting, excellent, gentle, and concerning. Paul is very honest, and open, about the challenges he lives through daily.

The program is here: Paul Merson: Football, Gambling & Me: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0010l43

A couple of supporting articles here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/sport/football/58859342.amp

And here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.skysports.com/amp/football/news/11095/12431849/paul-merson-on-his-gambling-documentary-i-just-wanted-to-help-one-person

If anyone is suffering in a similar way to Paul then please know that you're suffering isn't unique. Many others have sought and recieved help for this issue, and you can as well.

The first thing is to talk.

I've added this into this thread rather than start a new one as I expect that any new thread would swiftly descend into a circular discussion over the various merits of advertising various vices. By putting this into this thread I hope discussion can be limited to actually helping anyone that watches the show and sees something they recognise in themself.

[Davefevs]

13 hours ago, ExiledAjax said:

I've just watched the documentary on the BBC with Paul Merson, in which he talks about and explores the effects of his gambling addiction on his, and others' lives. It's arresting, excellent, gentle, and concerning. Paul is very honest, and open, about the challenges he lives through daily.

The program is here: Paul Merson: Football, Gambling & Me: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0010l43

A couple of supporting articles here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/sport/football/58859342.amp

And here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.skysports.com/amp/football/news/11095/12431849/paul-merson-on-his-gambling-documentary-i-just-wanted-to-help-one-person

If anyone is suffering in a similar way to Paul then please know that you're suffering isn't unique. Many others have sought and recieved help for this issue, and you can as well.

The first thing is to talk.

I've added this into this thread rather than start a new one as I expect that any new thread would swiftly descend into a circular discussion over the various merits of advertising various vices. By putting this into this thread I hope discussion can be limited to actually helping anyone that watches the show and sees something they recognise in themself.

Not sure what the programme was called on ITV in the summer but it was Harry Redknapp managing ex-England players in games against other nations.

Neil Ruddock was drinking stupidly having been warned about the damage it was doing to his life expectancy.  Merson tried to get through to him to stop, but he wasn’t having it, and Merson took it very badly…as he could see what damage it was doing and got Ruddock’s wife to come out and visit.  It was a side of Merson I’d not seen before.

[ExiledAjax]

9 hours ago, Davefevs said:

Not sure what the programme was called on ITV in the summer but it was Harry Redknapp managing ex-England players in games against other nations.

Neil Ruddock was drinking stupidly having been warned about the damage it was doing to his life expectancy.  Merson tried to get through to him to stop, but he wasn’t having it, and Merson took it very badly…as he could see what damage it was doing and got Ruddock’s wife to come out and visit.  It was a side of Merson I’d not seen before.

Yeh that was "Harry's Heroes" iirc. Good show that struck a good balance between football nostalgia and exploring the issues that many men live with every day. 

The new show just highlights how the issues are ongoing. 

[phantom]

[Guest]

On 25/09/2021 at 22:41, Mattredrobin said:

Hey everyone been really struggling recently already have depression and the last month health wise has been a nightmare, now i'll warn you this is'nt pretty so i apologise in advance, i went to the doctors about 6 weeks ago with pain in my rectal area, they told me nothing to worry about and was abit of constipation and they saw i had pile they gave me some laxitive to take and some cream, a week later i was in excruciating pain even though the powder was working, i rang the doctor again and they told me keep up the treatment a week after that the pain was unbareable calls to the doctor, 111, and a trip to a&e got me no where just got told change you're diet, but i was telling this pain was'nt right, tuesday last week i then started pouring with blood and had mucus and all sorts it was vile, finally 111 tell me go to hospital, to then be told i have blood infection and a burst abcess and would need a operation... this has been the worst month of my life i feel really let down by people who should be able to help even now i need bandages changed and been told by a nurse it's impossible to change and have to hope it does'nt get infected, even nurses in hospital said how bad it's got now with gp's not really caring to much they just want you in and out, have to rest for 2 weeks now and not over do it but i'm struggling emotionally and worry there is more to come with this.  

The information below is from someone who knows what you are experiencing. It is brutally honest in the hope that the information is helpful in the case of extended recovery.

I've had the same problem - the pain is incredible till the point the abscess bursts, then the intense pain is gone. The pus and blood triggers triggers some major anxiety.

Initially it was suspected I had a fistula and that caused me a fair amount of anxiety in itself.
I suspect you'll be tempted to try all sorts of 'Internet searches' etc., try all sorts of 'cures' etc. Take it from me, don't as it can make things worse.
The waiting around for treatment, especially if you get flair ups (I had multiple flair ups but the time to rupture of the abscess became progressively less - the only thing I can think off is the skin around the area became weaker) also causes a hell of a lot of anxiety.

I had a number of ops, each time no fistula was found and I was sent away and the wound cavity was packed with stringy type of dressing (they don't like to stitch the wound due to the area it's situated at, but prefer the wound to heal from the inside out). Unfortunately the abscesses kept coming back, obviously causing more anxiety.

In the end, I was seen by the top dog. He checked one more time for a fistula, saw there wasn't one and I believe he just gave the wound a good cleaning out (debridement?), told me it wasn't be be packed out but just left to heal by itself, obviously leaving me to keeping things clean after going to the toilet etc. (basically, I just jumped in the bath and cleaned myself with soap and water) - I wasn't even given any antibiotics this time round. I have not had a problem since.

If a fistula is mentioned, they will ask you a number of questions and if you don't recognise any of the symptoms they suggest, be insistent they don't apply, it might save time getting a fix in place. Be insistent that the top dog takes a look if you can (a consultant) and that he/she does the repair procedure (easier said than done).

The bottom line to my ordeal was this:
It was out of the blue - the pain was excruciating and it conjures up all sorts of worries.
The being passed from pillar to post by the health care system - just what are the experts up to, couldn't they understand my distress?
The equally sudden rupture of the abscess - while I was thankful for the sudden pain loss, the puss and blood caused a WTF moment.
Then more pillar to post stuff, cycles of pain, blood and puss.
This didn't cause me any depression but it did cause a hell of a lot of anxiety.
While the health care professionals were doing their best, the 'information' about my condition was confusing and not helpful.
It took someone to take a step back from the treatment I was receiving and try something different that led to my recovery.

You might be lucky, this might all be fixed in one go for you and I truly hope that is the case.
If the packing of your wound doesn't appear to be working, ask about just getting the would well cleaned (while under a general) and not packing it i.e. just leave it open and keeping it clean. This approach worked for me.
 

[Mattredrobin]

8 hours ago, bcfcfinker said:

The information below is from someone who knows what you are experiencing. It is brutally honest in the hope that the information is helpful in the case of extended recovery.

I've had the same problem - the pain is incredible till the point the abscess bursts, then the intense pain is gone. The pus and blood triggers triggers some major anxiety.

Initially it was suspected I had a fistula and that caused me a fair amount of anxiety in itself.
I suspect you'll be tempted to try all sorts of 'Internet searches' etc., try all sorts of 'cures' etc. Take it from me, don't as it can make things worse.
The waiting around for treatment, especially if you get flair ups (I had multiple flair ups but the time to rupture of the abscess became progressively less - the only thing I can think off is the skin around the area became weaker) also causes a hell of a lot of anxiety.

I had a number of ops, each time no fistula was found and I was sent away and the wound cavity was packed with stringy type of dressing (they don't like to stitch the wound due to the area it's situated at, but prefer the wound to heal from the inside out). Unfortunately the abscesses kept coming back, obviously causing more anxiety.

In the end, I was seen by the top dog. He checked one more time for a fistula, saw there wasn't one and I believe he just gave the wound a good cleaning out (debridement?), told me it wasn't be be packed out but just left to heal by itself, obviously leaving me to keeping things clean after going to the toilet etc. (basically, I just jumped in the bath and cleaned myself with soap and water) - I wasn't even given any antibiotics this time round. I have not had a problem since.

If a fistula is mentioned, they will ask you a number of questions and if you don't recognise any of the symptoms they suggest, be insistent they don't apply, it might save time getting a fix in place. Be insistent that the top dog takes a look if you can (a consultant) and that he/she does the repair procedure (easier said than done).

The bottom line to my ordeal was this:
It was out of the blue - the pain was excruciating and it conjures up all sorts of worries.
The being passed from pillar to post by the health care system - just what are the experts up to, couldn't they understand my distress?
The equally sudden rupture of the abscess - while I was thankful for the sudden pain loss, the puss and blood caused a WTF moment.
Then more pillar to post stuff, cycles of pain, blood and puss.
This didn't cause me any depression but it did cause a hell of a lot of anxiety.
While the health care professionals were doing their best, the 'information' about my condition was confusing and not helpful.
It took someone to take a step back from the treatment I was receiving and try something different that led to my recovery.

You might be lucky, this might all be fixed in one go for you and I truly hope that is the case.
If the packing of your wound doesn't appear to be working, ask about just getting the would well cleaned (while under a general) and not packing it i.e. just leave it open and keeping it clean. This approach worked for me.
 

Hey man thanks for the response, yes that pain is something I never ever want to experience ever again, and whilst I'm really glad I'm out of it now, any little pain I get there I think it's coming back, did you find that you lost a lot of weight ? I've was 17st 4 before this ( used to run alot but with my depression lost all motivation for it and eating in lockdown didn't help ) but I'm not 15st 13lb, I do have my appetite back so worried now why I'm losing this weight ( another anxiety thing ).

 

Luckily I think my wound has healed quiet nicely and I was meant to have my last appointment with the nurse Friday but it was cancelled so next and hopefully last will be Wednesday, I found some of the nurses were very helpful ( particularly the younger ones) where as the older ones just seemed to want you in and out as quickly as possible and by the time I'd been to the toilet a few hours later the packing had fallen out, felt very let down by the doctors too I appreciate its a very tough time for them atm but every patient is a separate case and just felt like it was easiest just to tell me it was piles and deal with it even though I was telling them it was not right

Thanks again for the message and hope you're clear of any more experiences like This.

 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Hey man thanks for the response, yes that pain is something I never ever want to experience ever again, and whilst I'm really glad I'm out of it now, any little pain I get there I think it's coming back, did you find that you lost a lot of weight ? I've was 17st 4 before this ( used to run alot but with my depression lost all motivation for it and eating in lockdown didn't help ) but I'm not 15st 13lb, I do have my appetite back so worried now why I'm losing this weight ( another anxiety thing ).

 

Luckily I think my wound has healed quiet nicely and I was meant to have my last appointment with the nurse Friday but it was cancelled so next and hopefully last will be Wednesday, I found some of the nurses were very helpful ( particularly the younger ones) where as the older ones just seemed to want you in and out as quickly as possible and by the time I'd been to the toilet a few hours later the packing had fallen out, felt very let down by the doctors too I appreciate its a very tough time for them atm but every patient is a separate case and just felt like it was easiest just to tell me it was piles and deal with it even though I was telling them it was not right

Thanks again for the message and hope you're clear of any more experiences like This.

 

While I'm a bit of a porker, I had no weight loss. Having said that, I've heard that some people can lose weight due to anxiety and depression so maybe there is nothing to read into it (if the weight loss is sustained and dramatic, that's the time to have a chat with your doc, if only to get some reassurance)?

The problem with the older generation of health care professionals (talking generally because I don't want to tar all older health care professionals with the same brush), they came from a time when once a diagnosis is set, that's it, no more thinking about the problem even when it's obvious the treatments aren't working, also some have become jaded with their jobs. The new generation tend to talk about 'holistic health' and are open to new ideas, thinking and trying new things.

Doctors are under pressure but this is not an excuse for poor care and 'covid' appears to be used extensively at the moment as an excuse to the point that it's almost becoming cliche. To a certain extent, the onus is then pushed to the patient to take care of themselves and this is to the point people should be thinking of raising a complaint, something that we in the UK tend to avoid as the docs are thought to beyond reproach.

Personally, I've been clear of issues down there for over 5 years. Yes, I get twinges now and again and this triggers worries, but ultimately, I've had no issues since the different approach to treatment tried over 5 years ago.

Here's to everything being Ok for you going forward and that this event is but a dropped stitch in life's tapestry (see Only Fools and Horses, Time on our Hands, the lift scene, very poignant, mixed in with a touch of comedy to take the edge off things).

Finally, and I really do hope that his does not come over as patronising, when I get overwhelming anxiety (among other things) I remind myself of the cheesy song by Baz Luhrmann, Wear Sunscreen, because it helps me to put things into perspective.

Take care.

Oh, and start running again when you've recovered. It helps.

Edited October 17, 2021 by bcfcfinker

[Mattredrobin]

14 hours ago, bcfcfinker said:

While I'm a bit of a porker, I had no weight loss. Having said that, I've heard that some people can lose weight due to anxiety and depression so maybe there is nothing to read into it (if the weight loss is sustained and dramatic, that's the time to have a chat with your doc, if only to get some reassurance)?

The problem with the older generation of health care professionals (talking generally because I don't want to tar all older health care professionals with the same brush), they came from a time when once a diagnosis is set, that's it, no more thinking about the problem even when it's obvious the treatments aren't working, also some have become jaded with their jobs. The new generation tend to talk about 'holistic health' and are open to new ideas, thinking and trying new things.

Doctors are under pressure but this is not an excuse for poor care and 'covid' appears to be used extensively at the moment as an excuse to the point that it's almost becoming cliche. To a certain extent, the onus is then pushed to the patient to take care of themselves and this is to the point people should be thinking of raising a complaint, something that we in the UK tend to avoid as the docs are thought to beyond reproach.

Personally, I've been clear of issues down there for over 5 years. Yes, I get twinges now and again and this triggers worries, but ultimately, I've had no issues since the different approach to treatment tried over 5 years ago.

Here's to everything being Ok for you going forward and that this event is but a dropped stitch in life's tapestry (see Only Fools and Horses, Time on our Hands, the lift scene, very poignant, mixed in with a touch of comedy to take the edge off things).

Finally, and I really do hope that his does not come over as patronising, when I get overwhelming anxiety (among other things) I remind myself of the cheesy song by Baz Luhrmann, Wear Sunscreen, because it helps me to put things into perspective.

Take care.

Oh, and start running again when you've recovered. It helps.

Yeah will keep an eye on the weight loss I just never lose weight unless I run so seemed a bit odd, but like you say just being anxious and paranoid about every little thing at the moment.

Completely get what you're saying in regards to the older generation of health care, but like you say isn't an excuse for poor care, even the weekend nurses have said I shouldn't be going to them cause they don't take patients from weston so that was a bit confusing. 

Know not patronising I do need to find something that helps me relax, city is my release at the end of a week but 16 games without a win at home doesn't help. 

That's great you've been clear for so long hopefully that's it for you, I'm a massive only fools fan so knew exactly that quote as soon as I saw it off to see the musical in London in Feb so can't wait for that. Might have seen a city win at home by then too .

Edited October 18, 2021 by Mattredrobin

[Pippintogg]

Hi everyone. Some months ago I asked Phantom if I could offer some help and support in here, and he kindly agreed. I have supported City since I was seven (51 years) and am a season ticket holder in the Lansdown with my brother and young son. I am also a hypnotherapist and have clients across the UK and internationally. Hypnotherapy helps people with all sorts of problems, anxiety, depression, phobias, weight loss, smoking and many others. Naturally this is my business and I offer discounts for people in various professions, but I would like to offer a free consultation to anyone in this thread, so if would like to find out more message me. It will help you understand how and why we develop problems and why hypnotherapy works so effectively. I had it to treat my stress 10 years ago and that's why a trained as a therapist myself. Best wishes and hope we can fix the home form soon .Today at WBA we were awful. 

[Mattredrobin]

So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

[Lanterne Rouge]

17 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

Stick with it mate, things will get better even though it might not seem like it at the moment.

You never know, we might even win a home game soon too!

[exAtyeoMax]

On 24/10/2021 at 20:19, Mattredrobin said:

So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

Sorry to hear that about your dad! I hope he gets well soon.

Life does seem to be chucking a lot at people at the moment…hopefully your weekend away helped in some way. 

[Mattredrobin]

5 hours ago, exAtyeoMax said:

Sorry to hear that about your dad! I hope he gets well soon.

Life does seem to be chucking a lot at people at the moment…hopefully your weekend away helped in some way. 

Thanks dad's fine due home tomorrow, weekend helped was nice to get away, these things are sent to try us just tough when it's all at the same time. 

[In the Net]

1 hour ago, Mattredrobin said:

Thanks dad's fine due home tomorrow, weekend helped was nice to get away, these things are sent to try us just tough when it's all at the same time. 

Pleased to hear that your Dad is ok, and has received the treatment necessary to allow him to go home.  They do amazing things with heart treatment these days.  I had a silent heart attack 3 years ago, and they were able to identify the cause, and prescribe medication to keep everything in order.  Best wishes to your Dad, and I hope that you can feel some positivity now that he's coming home.

[Posset red]

On 23/10/2021 at 19:33, Pippintogg said:

Hi everyone. Some months ago I asked Phantom if I could offer some help and support in here, and he kindly agreed. I have supported City since I was seven (51 years) and am a season ticket holder in the Lansdown with my brother and young son. I am also a hypnotherapist and have clients across the UK and internationally. Hypnotherapy helps people with all sorts of problems, anxiety, depression, phobias, weight loss, smoking and many others. Naturally this is my business and I offer discounts for people in various professions, but I would like to offer a free consultation to anyone in this thread, so if would like to find out more message me. It will help you understand how and why we develop problems and why hypnotherapy works so effectively. I had it to treat my stress 10 years ago and that's why a trained as a therapist myself. Best wishes and hope we can fix the home form soon .Today at WBA we were awful. 

Can you help with stopping addictions ? 

[Pippintogg]

15 hours ago, Posset red said:

Can you help with stopping addictions ? 

Hi Possett. Yes I can help, I've worked with clients who had a range of addictions, including, smoking, alcohol, cocaine etc. The initial consultation I have with clients explains how and why hypnotherapy works so well. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com. Let me know when you would like to chat and I can book you in for a free consultation.  As I said in my post anyone in the thread can have a free consultation. All the best, Chris. 

[Posset red]

28 minutes ago, Pippintogg said:

Hi Possett. Yes I can help, I've worked with clients who had a range of addictions, including, smoking, alcohol, cocaine etc. The initial consultation I have with clients explains how and why hypnotherapy works so well. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com. Let me know when you would like to chat and I can book you in for a free consultation.  As I said in my post anyone in the thread can have a free consultation. All the best, Chris. 

Thanks I guess there is a phone number on your site ? I’ll be in touch later in the week thanks 

[Pippintogg]

42 minutes ago, Posset red said:

Thanks I guess there is a phone number on your site ? I’ll be in touch later in the week thanks 

Yes all the details are there.  I look forward to chatting with you. 

[Guest]

Wedding anniversary about 4yrs ago , trip to Warner hotel in Hereford to celebrate for a long weekend; room was ok but decided to upgrade to best available.

Sat on the loo turned around as flushed the chain to see a bowl full of blood vanishing down the loo, oh dear...... phoned reception advised to go to Hereford hospital or go home to Gloucs and see doc next day chose the later and ended up losing well quite a few hundred pounds.

Docs triage nurse next day advised to leave it unless more blood appears as it seemed to have stopped left it until......about 6mths later and same again, this time at home this time went to docs who referred to hospital then endoscopy....which found a rectal cancerous tumor by the time further investigations happens there were only 2 options; belt and braces cut out large section of bowel or 2  cut out tumor via "TEMS OP" back passage op, cut out tumor from inside sew up hole from inside then 4mth watch for any spread.

Took 2nd option as didnt fancy possible perm colostomy bag, anyway.......2yrs laters worth of observations (ct,mri and endescopy) every 4mths have been clear, so now on a 6mth watch....dodged a bullet maybe but never say never.

Point of this rant is; any blood coming out any hole down below PLEASE get it looked at asap as I have since been told, another 2mm growth on tumor and it would have burst through otherside of bowel then probably into the lymph nodes and then goodnight.

Since then the wife has slipped in bathroom and smashed her eyeball and after many ops to try and save it she is now blind in one eye and lost all confidence to drive, all in the middle of covid as well....which by the way also took my mother in a nursing home in Bristol.

Sh1te happens, we carry on one day at a time as they say, but its good to sound off sometimes.

 

[phantom]

[Pippintogg]

5 hours ago, phantom said:

 

Men are notoriously bad at admitting they have problems, I would say that about 80% of my clients are women. It is not a sign of weakness to open up about how you feel, it takes strength and courage. I have faced many problems in my own life, including losing two babies, but I am still here and fighting to improve the mental health of others. As Phantom says, never feel embarrassed and reach out for help. The solutions to you problems are only a phone call, email or conversation away. The start of the journey can be tough, but once you realise how precious life is and how much there is to enjoy it gets easier. Every day I spend with my son reminds me of why I need to carry on, and not look at the past. Those events are fixed and cannot be changed, what I can do is change the way I think about them and focus on positives in the present and future. City may be crap at the moment, but the time I spend at AG with my son can still be fun and create a bond that will live on. Feel free to reach out to me if you would like a free hypnotherapy consultation, and start your journey to a better life. COYR. 

[Jerseybean]

Moodscope is a useful resource their website may be of interest,to find out more look here: https://www.moodscope.com/about/how-it-started 

[Jerseybean]

My great friend and ex-colleague has recently published an excellent new book, which I highly recommend to anybody interested in mental health. His compelling book is provocative, humorous, touching and based on his extensive experience  of clinical psychology. It’s called  ‘What Happened?: What mental health is really about’  By Dr Bill Saunders and is available now from Amazon.

[phantom]

EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.

It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.

It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.

And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.

Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support 

CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858

Heads Together,  www.headstogether.org.ukMind, 

www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393

Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41

Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123

Movember, www.uk.movember.com

Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774

Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm

[phantom]

[City Rocker]

On 30/11/2021 at 17:34, phantom said:

EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.

It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.

It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.

And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.

Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support 

CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858

Heads Together,  www.headstogether.org.ukMind, 

www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393

Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41

Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123

Movember, www.uk.movember.com

Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774

Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm

Also don't forget you can talk it out at the weekly Talk Club meetings for City fans at Ashton Gate. The mens mental fitness movement.

Talk Club

Edited December 10, 2021 by City Rocker

[phantom]

[phantom]

[phantom]

[Pippintogg]

Thankfully I was at the Panto today at the Hippodrome, far more entertaining for my son than a December defeat at home. Anyway I am still offering  a free hypnotherapy session for members of OTIB. If you need some support feel free to contact me. If you doubt that it works have a read of the following from a recent client. 

I was struggling with anxiety and depression at the time, often abusing my body with alcohol, amongst other things, as a means of escape and avoidance of my problems. During the sessions I felt I had a much greater understanding of how the brain works, why we feel the things we do and essentially I was able to see the bigger picture when it comes to tackling some of life's difficult scenarios that tend to pop up at the most inconvenient times. I felt very relaxed and focused after the hypnotherapy sessions, it was quite amazing in all honesty, as I was slightly skeptical at the beginning. 

Now I have much greater control over my thoughts and as a result, much greater control over my actions. I have noticed a significant change in my mindset, which is now completely solution orientated rather than just focusing on and drowning in my own problems. I am far more productive, happier and have a much clearer head. I have improved to such an extent that I have noticed myself having a significant positive impact on those around me, purely through how my mindset has changed.

Chris is very good at asking you the right questions to make you think and really flip the polarity of your mindset from negative to positive. The hynotherapy sessions themselves are very relaxing and an excellent way to de-clutter/de-stress your mind, you will feel as though you are a new version of yourself. It varies from person to person but after about 2 months of weekly/fortnightly sessions, I was in a much better place overall. If you are on the fence about it, I would encourage you to try it as you have nothing to lose.

[phantom]

The below is from the Football Supporter's Association 

 

This year we’ve been promoting #TerraceTalk – a fan-led mental health initiative – to encourage open and honest conversations about mental health and encourage supporters who need them to seek out mental health support services.

And with Christmas approaching we’re reminding fans about the help that’s available for those who are feeling the unusual stress that the holidays can occasionally bring.

Backed by the EFL and Mind’s ‘On Your Side’ partnership, #TerraceTalk aims to complement existing initiatives in football and encourage fans to reach out if they need a little support.

Much of the work on #TerraceTalk has been carried out by supporter representatives from the FSA’s Networks – aiming to raise awareness of critical mental health issues and deliver initiatives at club level. 

The leading mental health charity MIND has a page dedicated to mental health issues around Christmas – you can read that here.

Elsewhere support is available from the following organisations:

• Age UK – call 0800 678 1602 8am-7pm
• Alcoholics Anonymous or call 0800 9177 650
• Andy’s Man Club
• CALMzone – call 0800 585858
• Childline or call 0800 1111
• Mental Health First Aid (England)
• Mental Health First Aid (Wales)
• Mental Health Matters
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline – call 0808 2000 247
• National Gambling Helpline or call 0808 8020 133
• rehab4addiction or call 0800 140 4690
• Samaritans – 116 123 call any time for free
• SHOUT 85258 – a text-only 24 hour confidential mental health support service – text 85258
• SEED – specialise in supporting those with eating disorders & associated mental health issues – call 01482 718130 or email.

For medical advice call the NHS on 111.

[Hxj]

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

[PHILINFRANCE]

53 minutes ago, Hxj said:

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

Firstly, I am sorry to read of your recent loss.

I have enjoyed reading your posts on, inter alia, FFP and various clubs‘ financial problems (especially Derby ), although I must say I had assumed you were a lot younger than it would seem - obviously experienced, but I just envisaged you in your 30s, ten years or so older than Mr P (another assumption).

I hope you enjoy your Christmas.

 

[phantom]

[Guest]

Sorry you`re unwell atm Phants, its just a moment in time, fightback starts now.

 

[Davefevs]

On 21/12/2021 at 23:10, Hxj said:

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

Haven’t read this thread for a few weeks.  Thoughts with you HXJ.

[Pippintogg]

On 21/12/2021 at 23:10, Hxj said:

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

Hi, a good win today. Always makes the world seem a better place. I am a clinical hypnotherapist and offer a free session to help others in the group. Hypnotherapy can really help with grief and many other issues. Let me know if you would like to chat and get some support. Kind regards  Chris. www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com 

[KevP]

36 minutes ago, Tafkarmlf said:

Oh boy,

No idea where to start with this one. 

Last 2 years have been ridiculous 

The last 12 months beyond insane. 

Attempted to be Sexually assaulted by my then Landlord

Stalked by a previous stalker, who reappeared for no reason, got warned and disappeared again. 

Two moves because of the above. 

In the latest gripping installment of wtf is life. 

I'm off to give a statement to the police on Wednesday after my ex has effectively skipped town owing me 1500 quid and a long and sustained period of physical and domestic violence. 

That's on top of both parents having had Covid 19 over Xmas and dealing with a long term shoulder injury. 

That doesn't even cover half of it... 

Happy New Year 

 

Don't keep it to yourself. Talk to people about it if you can...there's people out there who can help. Those who will listen. Sharing a problem can help. Plus a few of us on here who are happy to communicate bearing in mind confidentiality issues of course. And try to look ahead as positively as you can. Many of us have had issues in the past we've got over or maybe are still dealing with but you're not on your own remember that. Take care.

[Tyna]

On 21/12/2021 at 23:10, Hxj said:

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

So sorry for your loss. I like so many others enjoy your posts, especially concerning FFP. I often think HXJ will be along in a minute to make sense of it all. Keep your head up fellow Red, you are amongst friends here.

[Fordy62]

On 21/12/2021 at 23:10, Hxj said:

Hi All

I am outwardly a successful professional, I earn very good money, nice house, nice cars, nice holidays (until March 2020), my partner and I have a good life, well we did until she died unexpectedly aged 58 in September a few days after a minor operation.  No one's fault, underlying health issues caught up with her.

Thank you all who take notice of me.

It has really helped.

Give your loved ones a hug this Christmas.

 

Hey mate. 

I haven’t been on this thread for a while and I’m so desperately sorry to read your story. 

I lost my mum in March. Just suddenly taken ill with heart complications and died a couple of weeks later. I’d never had to deal with loss before so it’s been pretty difficult, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. 

Just know that we’re here should you need us. By and large we’re a pleasant lot on here, and irrespective of whether you’re the biggest LJ fan in the world, you’re always welcome to drop me a PM. 

Thoughts are with you mate. 

Fordy

[Super]

I have been going to a regular counsellor for a while now took me a long time to accept i needed help after a realationship split and a few other things but without doubt it's the best decision i have ever made. I'm not there yet but know i am making progress. Don't keep it to yourself get the help.

[Pippintogg]

On 02/01/2022 at 17:24, Tafkarmlf said:

Oh boy,

No idea where to start with this one. 

Last 2 years have been ridiculous 

The last 12 months beyond insane. 

Attempted to be Sexually assaulted by my then Landlord

Stalked by a previous stalker, who reappeared for no reason, got warned and disappeared again. 

Two moves because of the above. 

In the latest gripping installment of wtf is life. 

I'm off to give a statement to the police on Wednesday after my ex has effectively skipped town owing me 1500 quid and a long and sustained period of physical and domestic violence. 

That's on top of both parents having had Covid 19 over Xmas and dealing with a long term shoulder injury. 

That doesn't even cover half of it... 

Happy New Year 

 

Hi, sorry to hear what you've been through. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and offer people in this group free sessions to help them out. If you would like to message me, I would be happy to help. Many people have no clue about hypnotherapy and how it works. It has helped me massively over the last few years, dealing with the loss of my daughter Aoife and son Lucas in 2014 and coming to terms with partial deafness. That's why I trained, so I can help others. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com . All the best, Chris.

[ZiderEyed]

1 hour ago, Pippintogg said:

Hi, sorry to hear what you've been through. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist and offer people in this group free sessions to help them out. If you would like to message me, I would be happy to help. Many people have no clue about hypnotherapy and how it works. It has helped me massively over the last few years, dealing with the loss of my daughter Aoife and son Lucas in 2014 and coming to terms with partial deafness. That's why I trained, so I can help others. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com . All the best, Chris.

I had hypnotherapy for anxiety-related blushing - silly little thing to most people, but it crippled me socially. Ever since, I've been so much more confident. Would recommend to anyone. 

[Midred]

On 15/08/2021 at 07:14, Tre Bong said:

I'm done...really done...sorry guys and gals but i don't want to live in this ****** up world any more. I have set a date on the 23rd (my 43rd birthday), i have the BBQ  and the vodka ready. 

****

YOU 

ALL

Anyone heard anything from Tre Bong?

[Selred]

7 minutes ago, Midred said:

Anyone heard anything from Tre Bong?

Visited OTIB 1st Jan, so hopefully is okay?

[The Batman]

Does anyone know Tre Bong outside otib? Social media, family? Not looking to dox but just to make sure all is well. 

From my own experience, I know how easy it is to want to give up or even have no control over what goes through your own mind. 

Do hope they are well and everyone else on here too 

[Pippintogg]

On 05/01/2022 at 16:30, ZiderEyed said:

I had hypnotherapy for anxiety-related blushing - silly little thing to most people, but it crippled me socially. Ever since, I've been so much more confident. Would recommend to anyone. 

Great to hear. It can be life changing. Many people still don't understand how it works and why it can help. I'm trying to change that. 

[The Batman]

I was in 2 minds as to whether to post this considering the nature of some of the stories on here but I've just finished after life series 2, and the near end scene of the last episode with the pills and the dog barking at him. That one really hit home.