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phantom
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8 hours ago, bcfcfinker said:

The information below is from someone who knows what you are experiencing. It is brutally honest in the hope that the information is helpful in the case of extended recovery.


I've had the same problem - the pain is incredible till the point the abscess bursts, then the intense pain is gone. The pus and blood triggers triggers some major anxiety.

Initially it was suspected I had a fistula and that caused me a fair amount of anxiety in itself.
I suspect you'll be tempted to try all sorts of 'Internet searches' etc., try all sorts of 'cures' etc. Take it from me, don't as it can make things worse.
The waiting around for treatment, especially if you get flair ups (I had multiple flair ups but the time to rupture of the abscess became progressively less - the only thing I can think off is the skin around the area became weaker) also causes a hell of a lot of anxiety.

I had a number of ops, each time no fistula was found and I was sent away and the wound cavity was packed with stringy type of dressing (they don't like to stitch the wound due to the area it's situated at, but prefer the wound to heal from the inside out). Unfortunately the abscesses kept coming back, obviously causing more anxiety.

In the end, I was seen by the top dog. He checked one more time for a fistula, saw there wasn't one and I believe he just gave the wound a good cleaning out (debridement?), told me it wasn't be be packed out but just left to heal by itself, obviously leaving me to keeping things clean after going to the toilet etc. (basically, I just jumped in the bath and cleaned myself with soap and water) - I wasn't even given any antibiotics this time round. I have not had a problem since.

If a fistula is mentioned, they will ask you a number of questions and if you don't recognise any of the symptoms they suggest, be insistent they don't apply, it might save time getting a fix in place. Be insistent that the top dog takes a look if you can (a consultant) and that he/she does the repair procedure (easier said than done).

The bottom line to my ordeal was this:
It was out of the blue - the pain was excruciating and it conjures up all sorts of worries.
The being passed from pillar to post by the health care system - just what are the experts up to, couldn't they understand my distress?
The equally sudden rupture of the abscess - while I was thankful for the sudden pain loss, the puss and blood caused a WTF moment.
Then more pillar to post stuff, cycles of pain, blood and puss.
This didn't cause me any depression but it did cause a hell of a lot of anxiety.
While the health care professionals were doing their best, the 'information' about my condition was confusing and not helpful.
It took someone to take a step back from the treatment I was receiving and try something different that led to my recovery.

You might be lucky, this might all be fixed in one go for you and I truly hope that is the case.
If the packing of your wound doesn't appear to be working, ask about just getting the would well cleaned (while under a general) and not packing it i.e. just leave it open and keeping it clean. This approach worked for me.
 

Hey man thanks for the response, yes that pain is something I never ever want to experience ever again, and whilst I'm really glad I'm out of it now, any little pain I get there I think it's coming back, did you find that you lost a lot of weight ? I've was 17st 4 before this ( used to run alot but with my depression lost all motivation for it and eating in lockdown didn't help ) but I'm not 15st 13lb, I do have my appetite back so worried now why I'm losing this weight ( another anxiety thing ).

 

Luckily I think my wound has healed quiet nicely and I was meant to have my last appointment with the nurse Friday but it was cancelled so next and hopefully last will be Wednesday, I found some of the nurses were very helpful ( particularly the younger ones) where as the older ones just seemed to want you in and out as quickly as possible and by the time I'd been to the toilet a few hours later the packing had fallen out, felt very let down by the doctors too I appreciate its a very tough time for them atm but every patient is a separate case and just felt like it was easiest just to tell me it was piles and deal with it even though I was telling them it was not right

Thanks again for the message and hope you're clear of any more experiences like This.

 

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7 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Hey man thanks for the response, yes that pain is something I never ever want to experience ever again, and whilst I'm really glad I'm out of it now, any little pain I get there I think it's coming back, did you find that you lost a lot of weight ? I've was 17st 4 before this ( used to run alot but with my depression lost all motivation for it and eating in lockdown didn't help ) but I'm not 15st 13lb, I do have my appetite back so worried now why I'm losing this weight ( another anxiety thing ).

 

Luckily I think my wound has healed quiet nicely and I was meant to have my last appointment with the nurse Friday but it was cancelled so next and hopefully last will be Wednesday, I found some of the nurses were very helpful ( particularly the younger ones) where as the older ones just seemed to want you in and out as quickly as possible and by the time I'd been to the toilet a few hours later the packing had fallen out, felt very let down by the doctors too I appreciate its a very tough time for them atm but every patient is a separate case and just felt like it was easiest just to tell me it was piles and deal with it even though I was telling them it was not right

Thanks again for the message and hope you're clear of any more experiences like This.

 

While I'm a bit of a porker, I had no weight loss. Having said that, I've heard that some people can lose weight due to anxiety and depression so maybe there is nothing to read into it (if the weight loss is sustained and dramatic, that's the time to have a chat with your doc, if only to get some reassurance)?

The problem with the older generation of health care professionals (talking generally because I don't want to tar all older health care professionals with the same brush), they came from a time when once a diagnosis is set, that's it, no more thinking about the problem even when it's obvious the treatments aren't working, also some have become jaded with their jobs. The new generation tend to talk about 'holistic health' and are open to new ideas, thinking and trying new things.

Doctors are under pressure but this is not an excuse for poor care and 'covid' appears to be used extensively at the moment as an excuse to the point that it's almost becoming cliche. To a certain extent, the onus is then pushed to the patient to take care of themselves and this is to the point people should be thinking of raising a complaint, something that we in the UK tend to avoid as the docs are thought to beyond reproach.

Personally, I've been clear of issues down there for over 5 years. Yes, I get twinges now and again and this triggers worries, but ultimately, I've had no issues since the different approach to treatment tried over 5 years ago.

Here's to everything being Ok for you going forward and that this event is but a dropped stitch in life's tapestry (see Only Fools and Horses, Time on our Hands, the lift scene, very poignant, mixed in with a touch of comedy to take the edge off things).

Finally, and I really do hope that his does not come over as patronising, when I get overwhelming anxiety (among other things) I remind myself of the cheesy song by Baz Luhrmann, Wear Sunscreen, because it helps me to put things into perspective.

Take care.

Oh, and start running again when you've recovered. It helps.

Edited by bcfcfinker
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14 hours ago, bcfcfinker said:

While I'm a bit of a porker, I had no weight loss. Having said that, I've heard that some people can lose weight due to anxiety and depression so maybe there is nothing to read into it (if the weight loss is sustained and dramatic, that's the time to have a chat with your doc, if only to get some reassurance)?

The problem with the older generation of health care professionals (talking generally because I don't want to tar all older health care professionals with the same brush), they came from a time when once a diagnosis is set, that's it, no more thinking about the problem even when it's obvious the treatments aren't working, also some have become jaded with their jobs. The new generation tend to talk about 'holistic health' and are open to new ideas, thinking and trying new things.

Doctors are under pressure but this is not an excuse for poor care and 'covid' appears to be used extensively at the moment as an excuse to the point that it's almost becoming cliche. To a certain extent, the onus is then pushed to the patient to take care of themselves and this is to the point people should be thinking of raising a complaint, something that we in the UK tend to avoid as the docs are thought to beyond reproach.

Personally, I've been clear of issues down there for over 5 years. Yes, I get twinges now and again and this triggers worries, but ultimately, I've had no issues since the different approach to treatment tried over 5 years ago.

Here's to everything being Ok for you going forward and that this event is but a dropped stitch in life's tapestry (see Only Fools and Horses, Time on our Hands, the lift scene, very poignant, mixed in with a touch of comedy to take the edge off things).

Finally, and I really do hope that his does not come over as patronising, when I get overwhelming anxiety (among other things) I remind myself of the cheesy song by Baz Luhrmann, Wear Sunscreen, because it helps me to put things into perspective.

Take care.

Oh, and start running again when you've recovered. It helps.

Yeah will keep an eye on the weight loss I just never lose weight unless I run so seemed a bit odd, but like you say just being anxious and paranoid about every little thing at the moment.

Completely get what you're saying in regards to the older generation of health care, but like you say isn't an excuse for poor care, even the weekend nurses have said I shouldn't be going to them cause they don't take patients from weston so that was a bit confusing. 

Know not patronising I do need to find something that helps me relax, city is my release at the end of a week but 16 games without a win at home doesn't help. 

That's great you've been clear for so long hopefully that's it for you, I'm a massive only fools fan so knew exactly that quote as soon as I saw it off to see the musical in London in Feb so can't wait for that. Might have seen a city win at home by then too 🤔.

Edited by Mattredrobin
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Hi everyone. Some months ago I asked Phantom if I could offer some help and support in here, and he kindly agreed. I have supported City since I was seven (51 years) and am a season ticket holder in the Lansdown with my brother and young son. I am also a hypnotherapist and have clients across the UK and internationally. Hypnotherapy helps people with all sorts of problems, anxiety, depression, phobias, weight loss, smoking and many others. Naturally this is my business and I offer discounts for people in various professions, but I would like to offer a free consultation to anyone in this thread, so if would like to find out more message me. It will help you understand how and why we develop problems and why hypnotherapy works so effectively. I had it to treat my stress 10 years ago and that's why a trained as a therapist myself. Best wishes and hope we can fix the home form soon .Today at WBA we were awful. 

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So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

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17 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

Stick with it mate, things will get better even though it might not seem like it at the moment.

You never know, we might even win a home game soon too!

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On 24/10/2021 at 20:19, Mattredrobin said:

So....after 6 weeks off sick from work I'm finally back to work tomorrow been a while since I've been in and feel apprehensive about it all but know I need to get back on with it and get back into that routine, but life has a way of really pushing you to your limits, this weekend me and the gf finally got to have our weekend away in Cardiff the 1st date we've had just me and her in a very long time due to covid, and whilst we live together it's nice to do things away, I kept and eye on the city result and heard about the medical emergencies in the crowd and thought how these affect the families of those involved....little did I know a few hours into our evening I'd get a message from my mum saying my dad had been rushed into the bri having had chest pains at home....today we had it confirmed as a heart attack and whilst he should be fine, life just keeps throwing things at me at the moment and I don't appear to be able to catch a break. 

Sorry to hear that about your dad! I hope he gets well soon.

Life does seem to be chucking a lot at people at the moment…hopefully your weekend away helped in some way. 

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5 hours ago, exAtyeoMax said:

Sorry to hear that about your dad! I hope he gets well soon.

Life does seem to be chucking a lot at people at the moment…hopefully your weekend away helped in some way. 

Thanks dad's fine due home tomorrow, weekend helped was nice to get away, these things are sent to try us just tough when it's all at the same time. 

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1 hour ago, Mattredrobin said:

Thanks dad's fine due home tomorrow, weekend helped was nice to get away, these things are sent to try us just tough when it's all at the same time. 

Pleased to hear that your Dad is ok, and has received the treatment necessary to allow him to go home.  They do amazing things with heart treatment these days.  I had a silent heart attack 3 years ago, and they were able to identify the cause, and prescribe medication to keep everything in order.  Best wishes to your Dad, and I hope that you can feel some positivity now that he's coming home.

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On 23/10/2021 at 19:33, Pippintogg said:

Hi everyone. Some months ago I asked Phantom if I could offer some help and support in here, and he kindly agreed. I have supported City since I was seven (51 years) and am a season ticket holder in the Lansdown with my brother and young son. I am also a hypnotherapist and have clients across the UK and internationally. Hypnotherapy helps people with all sorts of problems, anxiety, depression, phobias, weight loss, smoking and many others. Naturally this is my business and I offer discounts for people in various professions, but I would like to offer a free consultation to anyone in this thread, so if would like to find out more message me. It will help you understand how and why we develop problems and why hypnotherapy works so effectively. I had it to treat my stress 10 years ago and that's why a trained as a therapist myself. Best wishes and hope we can fix the home form soon .Today at WBA we were awful. 

Can you help with stopping addictions ? 

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15 hours ago, Posset red said:

Can you help with stopping addictions ? 

Hi Possett. Yes I can help, I've worked with clients who had a range of addictions, including, smoking, alcohol, cocaine etc. The initial consultation I have with clients explains how and why hypnotherapy works so well. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com. Let me know when you would like to chat and I can book you in for a free consultation.  As I said in my post anyone in the thread can have a free consultation. All the best, Chris. 

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28 minutes ago, Pippintogg said:

Hi Possett. Yes I can help, I've worked with clients who had a range of addictions, including, smoking, alcohol, cocaine etc. The initial consultation I have with clients explains how and why hypnotherapy works so well. You can find out more at www.timetothinkhypnotherapy.com. Let me know when you would like to chat and I can book you in for a free consultation.  As I said in my post anyone in the thread can have a free consultation. All the best, Chris. 

Thanks I guess there is a phone number on your site ? I’ll be in touch later in the week thanks 

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Wedding anniversary about 4yrs ago , trip to Warner hotel in Hereford to celebrate for a long weekend; room was ok but decided to upgrade to best available.

Sat on the loo turned around as flushed the chain to see a bowl full of blood vanishing down the loo, oh dear...... phoned reception advised to go to Hereford hospital or go home to Gloucs and see doc next day chose the later and ended up losing well quite a few hundred pounds.

Docs triage nurse next day advised to leave it unless more blood appears as it seemed to have stopped left it until......about 6mths later and same again, this time at home this time went to docs who referred to hospital then endoscopy....which found a rectal cancerous tumor by the time further investigations happens there were only 2 options; belt and braces cut out large section of bowel or 2  cut out tumor via "TEMS OP" back passage op, cut out tumor from inside sew up hole from inside then 4mth watch for any spread.

Took 2nd option as didnt fancy possible perm colostomy bag, anyway.......2yrs laters worth of observations (ct,mri and endescopy) every 4mths have been clear, so now on a 6mth watch....dodged a bullet maybe but never say never.

Point of this rant is; any blood coming out any hole down below PLEASE get it looked at asap as I have since been told, another 2mm growth on tumor and it would have burst through otherside of bowel then probably into the lymph nodes and then goodnight.

Since then the wife has slipped in bathroom and smashed her eyeball and after many ops to try and save it she is now blind in one eye and lost all confidence to drive, all in the middle of covid as well....which by the way also took my mother in a nursing home in Bristol.

Sh1te happens, we carry on one day at a time as they say, but its good to sound off sometimes.

 

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5 hours ago, phantom said:

 

Men are notoriously bad at admitting they have problems, I would say that about 80% of my clients are women. It is not a sign of weakness to open up about how you feel, it takes strength and courage. I have faced many problems in my own life, including losing two babies, but I am still here and fighting to improve the mental health of others. As Phantom says, never feel embarrassed and reach out for help. The solutions to you problems are only a phone call, email or conversation away. The start of the journey can be tough, but once you realise how precious life is and how much there is to enjoy it gets easier. Every day I spend with my son reminds me of why I need to carry on, and not look at the past. Those events are fixed and cannot be changed, what I can do is change the way I think about them and focus on positives in the present and future. City may be crap at the moment, but the time I spend at AG with my son can still be fun and create a bond that will live on. Feel free to reach out to me if you would like a free hypnotherapy consultation, and start your journey to a better life. COYR. 

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My great friend and ex-colleague has recently published an excellent new book, which I highly recommend to anybody interested in mental health. His compelling book is provocative, humorous, touching and based on his extensive experience  of clinical psychology. It’s called  ‘What Happened?: What mental health is really about’  By Dr Bill Saunders and is available now from Amazon.

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EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.

It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.

It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.

And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.

Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support 

CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858

Heads Together,  www.headstogether.org.ukMind, 

www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393

Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41

Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123

Movember, www.uk.movember.com

Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774

Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm

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