Never feel alone, It's good to talk !!

[phantom]

14 minutes ago, phantom said:

Taken from: https://thefsa.org.uk/our-work/terracetalk/

 

As the cost of living crisis shows no signs of ending the stress is really mounting up for many of us and that can have a serious impact on mental health.

Back in 2021 the FSA launched #TerraceTalk, a supporter-led mental health initiative, which included a series of events from panel discussions to training for FSA staff and volunteers, and the sharing of resources with supporter groups.

The aim of the campaign is to encourage open and honest conversations about mental health and encourage supporters who need them to seek out mental health support services. A central theme of #TerraceTalk is to remember and recognise the value that the social aspects of the matchday routine provide to fans up and down the country.

One of the many lessons learned from the pandemic and our collective experience of lockdowns was a greater appreciation of the value that the matchday and our social interactions around it can have on our mental health.

#TerraceTalk resources:

Download: #TerraceTalk social media assets. If you would like a bespoke #TerraceTalk image including your group’s logo contact us.

Find out more: fan groups highlight mental health support work

Useful links:

Contact Mind for dealing with mental health matters – Mind also have a partnership with the EFL. Other useful resources…

Age UK – call 0800 678 1602 8am-7pm

Alcoholics Anonymous or call 0800 9177 650

Andy’s Man Club

CALMzone – call 0800 585858

Childline or call 0800 1111

Mental Health First Aid (England)

Mental Health First Aid (Wales)

Mental Health Matters

National Domestic Abuse Helpline – call 0808 2000 247

National Gambling Helpline or call 0808 8020 133

Samaritans – 116 123 call any time for free

SHOUT 85258 – a text-only 24 hour confidential mental health support service – text 85258

My life has finally moved on after decades of mental health issues, this time last year things were just starting to come crashing down around me and really bring everything to a head.

I was lucky that a number of people stood by me and gave me the strength and courage to seek help.

After many appointments and mental examinations I was fortunate enough to be able to undertake a number of different therapies over a nine months period which at times were very hard and brought out horrible emotions and reactions, but that was all part of the journey and entrusting those supporting me has assisted me with getting to where I am today

I'm by no means the finished article yet, I had a wobble on my birthday on Boxing Day but going into 2024 I'm on a much better footing compared to starting 2023 and it gives me the confidence and belief that there are only brilliant times ahead now, and for once I am actually looking forward to shaping my future

 

For anyone struggling in a dark place, it is OK to not be OK, at some point it happens to us all.

Some people are fortunate enough to be able to deal with it but some of us weren't.

There are useful links in the attached article where you can click on, nobody will judge you, people are genuinely there to help you

[The Nest Egg]

It's my birthday today, I'm twenty seven years old. I've been on this forum since I was around eleven and that in of itself has provoked some self reflection. To think that there are some posters that have kept me amused and informed for my entire adolescence (which was not an easy time for me personally) and now my adulthood which has thankfully been much more happy and fulfilling.

Whether it's been a doom scroll at 2am when I have work tomorrow, checking in during a game or coming on to bemoan yet another loss, this board has been rather important to me over the years. I'd like to thank everybody here as we do have one hell of a forum considering how pokey our football club is.

A happy new year to you all!

Edited December 31, 2023 by The Nest Egg

[MrRedRobin]

I just wanted to wish everybody a very happy new year, this year has been a hard one for many but I hope 2024 is a great one on a footballing and personal level to you all!

[BigTone]

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

[RedEyez]

4 hours ago, BigTone said:

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

My condolences, hope you’re alright. 

[Mattredrobin]

6 hours ago, BigTone said:

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

Sorry to hear this 

[Mattredrobin]

Hey everyone, decided to give the west ham replay a miss. I went to the game at the London stadium I enjoyed the game and taking my son to the game but my mental health has taking a nose dive the last day or 2 and I just can't face going this is the 1st time ever I have felt this way about attending because it is always something that has helped my mental health, feel sad that I feel this way but know it will help me in the long run.

[BigTone]

7 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Hey everyone, decided to give the west ham replay a miss. I went to the game at the London stadium I enjoyed the game and taking my son to the game but my mental health has taking a nose dive the last day or 2 and I just can't face going this is the 1st time ever I have felt this way about attending because it is always something that has helped my mental health, feel sad that I feel this way but know it will help me in the long run.

Do what you have to do Matt to keep yourself on an even keel. At the end of the day its your health that matters not just for you but your Son and family also. Take care.

[ZiderEyed]

13 hours ago, BigTone said:

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

Thoughts with you and yours Tone.

[Tyna]

On 09/01/2024 at 07:23, BigTone said:

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

Sorry to read this, sending my condolences, here is hoping there are better days ahead. 

[roddy-d]

On 27/12/2023 at 08:29, myol'man said:

So sorry to hear your news

Just take one day at a time, it's all you can do 

Leominster still wait for them gypsy & travellers??

[Red Army 75]

Wake up give your loved ones a kiss. Daily 

[phantom]

[BigTone]

On 09/02/2024 at 18:02, Red Army 75 said:

Wake up give your loved ones a kiss. Daily 

I would but my Wife gets jealous if I go and see Marjorie & Veronique in the local cafe every morning.

Edited February 15 by BigTone

[Yozzarian]

Quick post here, a service message that hopefully may help.

As a slim, pretty fit late 40-something I nevertheless found out that I have high cholesterol and am prediabetic a week ago.  Now I knew my diet wasn't good but never imagined I'd be told this via a blood test.  Things should be totally reversible - hopefully just through overhauling what I eat/drink which I have already done like a man possessed - but the point of this post is if you are not sure you're eating well and you are a similar age, it couldn't hurt to get a blood test.  It's actually never too early to think about these things but you really want to avoid developing Type-2 diabetes and if you are middle aged it's important as you don't want to increase your risk of heart disease or stroke.

That was it really.  

[Jerseybean]

[Chrizzler]

On 18/02/2024 at 21:33, mason said:

Dont know what to do?

Cancer survivor, after a bowel tumor removed, many tests followed over must be 3yrs now; MRI scans, CTscans Bloods, Ultra Sound Scans, Colonoscopy tests, 4monthly then 6 monthly all clear; but now after many, cancelled by me, the last Colonoscopy test has been booked yet again.

At 70 this test on its own is not without risk as some on here will know, even if small polyps are found and removed this could cause bleeds and major ops, really tempted to call a halt now as if anything is found (unlikely) then major surgery could well be required which I really would not interested in, colonstomey bags etc.

Feeling great, old but working every day, no probs, tempted to cancel again and what happens happens after but getting through another endoscopy clear would probably clear things till the end of my days.

Been through a lot over the last 3yrs, really dont know which way to go

I suffered with a condition many years ago that meant me having regular colonoscopies. It's reared it's head again so had to have a colonoscopy two weeks ago to rule out cancer. Apart from the revolting preparation you have to drink the day before, it was really a easy & painless procedure. My advice would be to have it. Prevention is better than cure. 

[Chrizzler]

6 hours ago, mason said:

Had many already every 3mths then 6mths all clear, gas and air is out due to copd and sedation injection is also difficult as the wife doesnt drive and you arent supposed to drive after sedation. So it certainly is not painless or without risk internal tears/bleeds. 50/50 atm risk verses need.

Original consoltant wanted a "belt and braces" action of a section of bowel removed with COL bag etc and all that risk involved with that, luckily another option was given tumor removed from the inside and then 3yrs observation chose the later.

I'm sure you will make the right decision, you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Good luck with it all. 

[Chrizzler]

5 minutes ago, mason said:

Cheers mate, will prob go with it, booked in a couple of weeks, theres always a taxi suppose

That's true, good for you  

[BigTone]

The situation regarding my Wife has been shared on here a few times over the past 12 months.  This time last year she was admitted to a Care Home and was all but bedridden. She remained for 8 months.  In Oct 2023 I took the decision to bring her home because she had worked so hard to try and overcome her problems and I felt she deserved the opportunity to try and lead a normal life again. She has done really well with her determination to overcome all.

Today I booked us a Christmas cruise around the Med starting on 23rd Dec for 8 days.  Would never have envisaged this 12 months ago and in all honesty doubted she would still be with us at this time.  10 months to go I know but this has given her another goal to focus on and work towards. Fingers crossed. 

Edited March 3 by BigTone

[bcfcredandwhite]

On 09/01/2024 at 07:23, BigTone said:

My Sister passed away during the night aged 72 from that bastard that is cancer.

Just catching up with this thread hence the late response. 
Hope you and your wife are coping mate

Let’s hope a cure can be found soon - Cancer Research is one of the charities I give to regularly. 

Edited March 6 by bcfcredandwhite

[Chrizzler]

1 hour ago, mason said:

Crappy prep starts Sunday, little to no food and the drink of doom; been there done that many times, dont get any easier though

I feel for you, that bits worse than the procedure, revolting. Good for you for doing it though. Look forward to a fry up on Monday evening. 

[bcfcredandwhite]

4 hours ago, mason said:

Crappy prep starts Sunday, little to no food and the drink of doom; been there done that many times, dont get any easier though

I’ve had that a few times - for the camera up the old jacksy. 
I like the ‘drink of doom’ description - very apt!!!

good luck mate. 

[Chrizzler]

8 hours ago, mason said:

Update had a bad reaction to overnight laxative "picolax" unable to go to endo today rebooked for Sunday morning with different laxative on its way.

Sorry to hear that. Hope the next one works for you. 

[Chrizzler]

9 hours ago, mason said:

you can now add apple/lemon juice to take away taste so that helps....and thanks...good to talk

I took a sip of coke between each mouthful, not sure if you're supposed to. Having it through a straw seemed to help a little bit too. 

[Chrizzler]

46 minutes ago, mason said:

Colonoscopy done, on a Sunday morn as well, two small polyps removed no sign of any recurring big c; not got to go back for 3yrs now

Brilliant news! Well done for doing it. Sounds like your favourite meal is required. 

[Chrizzler]

4 hours ago, mason said:

just noticed left sided diverticula on report, however 2 out of 3 older folk have it many dont even know, could be nothing could be something....whatever... off to Dorset soon

Have a great time. 

[BigTone]

On 21/03/2024 at 21:41, mason said:

just noticed left sided diverticula on report, however 2 out of 3 older folk have it many dont even know, could be nothing could be something....whatever... off to Dorset soon

Enjoy the fishing if that's what you do. Love Chesil Beach.

[phantom]

 

 

[Mattredrobin]

Hey everyone just thought I would check in with people how is everyone doing ? Helps that things are a little bit more positive with city at the moment eh ?.

[BigTone]

3 hours ago, Mattredrobin said:

Hey everyone just thought I would check in with people how is everyone doing ? Helps that things are a little bit more positive with city at the moment eh ?.

And a bit of sunshine helps

[Mattredrobin]

Just now, BigTone said:

And a bit of sunshine helps

Yes nice today isn't it? Hopefully we get more of it soon 

 

[Wanderingred]

Thought the forum was better than this tbh…. There’s not much empathy for people going through a hard time.

 

Edited May 4 by Wanderingred

[Wanderingred]

Was more referring to this and the Emojis used. I’d expect it from the likes  of Chippenham Red, but disappointed to see other confused and laughing emojis instead of supportive ones.

Edited May 5 by Wanderingred

[BigTone]

2 hours ago, Wanderingred said:

Was more referring to this and the Emojis used. I’d expect it from the likes  of Chippenham Red, but disappointed to see other confused and laughing emojis instead of supportive ones.

Understandable. Hope things get better for you soon.

[Pippintogg]

On 04/05/2024 at 13:57, Wanderingred said:

Thought the forum was better than this tbh…. There’s not much empathy for people going through a hard time.

 

I am a psychotherapist and am happy to chat. Feel free to DM me if you need to talk. Chris. 

[Mattredrobin]

On 04/05/2024 at 13:57, Wanderingred said:

Thought the forum was better than this tbh…. There’s not much empathy for people going through a hard time.

 

Hey,had not seen your post on here so apologise for not reaching out........always about for a chat if you'd like too i know how hard it is to struggle.

[richwwtk]

mason/Enough - If you are browsing, I see you have removed your account. I know we clashed on the Politics forum, but I know you were also a fequent poster here and I really hope you are OK.

[BigTone]

6 hours ago, richwwtk said:

mason/Enough - If you are browsing, I see you have removed your account. I know we clashed on the Politics forum, but I know you were also a fequent poster here and I really hope you are OK.

The problem with a forum such as this is when people post we don't always understand the context of/or underlying problems that they express. Every forum is the same. However, we all need to exercise caution and more so some understanding when responding. There are many on here who just act the complete **** and try to be smart. Not tarring you with that brush Rich by the way !!  As you say I hope Mason/Enough is Ok also.

Edited May 16 by BigTone

[richwwtk]

1 hour ago, BigTone said:

The problem with a forum such as this is when people post we don't always understand the context of/or underlying problems that they express. Every forum is the same. However, we all need to exercise caution and more so some understanding when responding. There are many on here who just act the complete **** and try to be smart. Not tarring you with that brush Rich by the way !!  As you say I hope Mason/Enough is Ok also.

When I disagree with someone I can be a bit of a dog with a bone, and think I rubbed him up the wrong way a couple of times (oooerrr missus!).

I hope he has deleted his account because he was getting pissed off with people disagreeing with him on here and it is nothing else.

[BigTone]

1 hour ago, richwwtk said:

When I disagree with someone I can be a bit of a dog with a bone, and think I rubbed him up the wrong way a couple of times (oooerrr missus!).

I hope he has deleted his account because he was getting pissed off with people disagreeing with him on here and it is nothing else.

I'm sure that is the case

[temp]

just let them know..... Rich/Tone everything is fine atm, (thanks for caring)lots of probs and a break from here will allow more time for things that matter; hopefully will be back......if thats allowed........ in a few months

[Jerseybean]

[Mattredrobin]

4 hours ago, Jerseybean said:

Thanks for sharing this quote 

[Jerseybean]

[Mattredrobin]

On 31/05/2024 at 23:18, Jerseybean said:

This is something I have to remind myself of everyday pretty much

[Mattredrobin]

Question for those that can relate. My Partners very close friend passed away this week, of suicide its been a tough week she was only 41 recently got married we only met up with her and her husband last thursday, by Tuesday she was gone how can I support my girlfriend ?(She is also 7 months pregnant ) I am also struggling with it and in my typical way i stew on things and then it gets to me, I have lost family members obviously but they were all at an old age, this was just so unexpected. 

[Hxj]

On 07/06/2024 at 09:26, Mattredrobin said:

how can I support my girlfriend ?

Firstly maybe you can't, she needs to work it through herself.  But above all be yourself, but maybe moderated a little if needed .  She's with you for a reason.  Having been there too many times people being normal is good. 

When she wants to talk she will.  Just try and listen, listening properly is really hard, but well worth the effort.

[PHILINFRANCE]

1 hour ago, Hxj said:

When she wants to talk she will.  Just try and listen, listening properly is really hard, but well worth the effort.

And, as you suggest, this will very likely be the hardest part.

Learn to bite your tongue.

Let her spill everything out, just hmmm and nod, and hold her hand, give her a cuddle.

There will be plenty of time to discuss the details, even argue them, in the years to come.

 

[Mattredrobin]

Thanks, We speak quiet a lot about how we feel, I'm passionate about peoples mental health even more so with those closest to me, so I've been asking how she's feeling, being pregnant has not helped with the hormones, 

and she has been stressed with her job, and stressed with the baby and if he's ok (he is) this is her 1st so she's panicking about pretty much everything.

We should get news of her friends funeral soon. 

[Pippintogg]

On 07/06/2024 at 09:26, Mattredrobin said:

Question for those that can relate. My Partners very close friend passed away this week, of suicide its been a tough week she was only 41 recently got married we only met up with her and her husband last thursday, by Tuesday she was gone how can I support my girlfriend ?(She is also 7 months pregnant ) I am also struggling with it and in my typical way i stew on things and then it gets to me, I have lost family members obviously but they were all at an old age, this was just so unexpected. 

I work as a therapist and phantom has said it's OK to reach out to people if they want help. Happy to chat sometime. Let me know via DM or here. Chris. 

[Mattredrobin]

On 23/06/2024 at 17:22, Pippintogg said:

I work as a therapist and phantom has said it's OK to reach out to people if they want help. Happy to chat sometime. Let me know via DM or here. Chris. 

Thanks I did DM you last year but not sure if you saw it or not 

[BigTone]

Dad now full time in a Care Home in Adelaide.  Fell over last week and has a black eye and 7 stitches in his forehead. Has also now developed pneumonia which is a big worry considering his age (99).  Want to go and visit but unable to travel myself just now. Life can be a real bitch.

[phantom]

Always worth reminding people of these numbers 

[BigTone]

On 19/07/2024 at 07:54, BigTone said:

Dad now full time in a Care Home in Adelaide.  Fell over last week and has a black eye and 7 stitches in his forehead. Has also now developed pneumonia which is a big worry considering his age (99).  Want to go and visit but unable to travel myself just now. Life can be a real bitch.

2 more falls since my post above only this time with a laceration to the side of his head and a broken rib or two.  Spoke to him this morning and he just wants to pass away peacefully. So sad.

[Midred]

On 25/07/2024 at 12:35, BigTone said:

2 more falls since my post above only this time with a laceration to the side of his head and a broken rib or two.  Spoke to him this morning and he just wants to pass away peacefully. So sad.

My mum is 96 and following a series of falls and longer and longet stays in hospital finally moved into a care home in June. She's picked up a bit now but for her the reality of waking up every morning has become something to endure rather than enjoy. As she says, she's lived her life and there's nothing left.

A few years ago.we were told that people were living longer, what they didn't tell.us was that post 70 your qualitity of life can deteriorate rapidly!

[BigTone]

5 minutes ago, Midred said:

My mum is 96 and following a series of falls and longer and longet stays in hospital finally moved into a care home in June. She's picked up a bit now but for her the reality of waking up every morning has become something to endure rather than enjoy. As she says, she's lived her life and there's nothing left.

A few years ago.we were told that people were living longer, what they didn't tell.us was that post 70 your qualitity of life can deteriorate rapidly!

Sounds like an echo of my Dad. He has even been looking at the Assisted Dying Scheme in South Australia but doesn't qualify. He did make me laugh though when he said surely being a Crystal Palace fan is qualification enough. At least he is maintaining a sense of humour even during his suffering. I admire his strength.

[Midred]

17 minutes ago, BigTone said:

Sounds like an echo of my Dad. He has even been looking at the Assisted Dying Scheme in South Australia but doesn't qualify. He did make me laugh though when he said surely being a Crystal Palace fan is qualification enough. At least he is maintaining a sense of humour even during his suffering. I admire his strength.

Would being  a Bristol City fan carry more weight?

[BigTone]

2 minutes ago, Midred said:

Would being  a Bristol City fan carry more weight?

 

2 minutes ago, Midred said:

Would being  a Bristol City fan carry more weight?

Possibly but he would never admit to it !!

[Distortia]

8 hours ago, BigTone said:

Sounds like an echo of my Dad. He has even been looking at the Assisted Dying Scheme in South Australia but doesn't qualify. He did make me laugh though when he said surely being a Crystal Palace fan is qualification enough. At least he is maintaining a sense of humour even during his suffering. I admire his strength.

Sorry to hear about your father Tone - he sounds like he still has a great sense of humour

[The Batman]

Hi all 

I don't recall my last message on here and I can't be arsed to scroll through. 

I had a few months of therapy at the end of last year (they offered me rehab due to the severity of things I'd mentioned in my colsultation (supposed to be 20 mins, but was well over an hour)). I've been in a great place for a while now. No new bad things have happened to me, my families health concerns have eased, work is going great, my daughter is amazing. Delightful. 

But..... 

And this sounds so daft but you have to understand it doesn't take much to set some people's emotions internally.... 

I was watching YouTube on the train in and I came across a deleted scene from a famous movie and ever since watching it, it feels like some ginormous weight is in my head right now. I think it's simply because I can't cry and I really really want to. I won't mention what it was on here in case it sets others off, but let this be an example.. Sometimes, it's best to put the phone down and enjoy the outdoors more. Yes I note the irony that I'm typing this out now but for those that suffer from ptsd, Depression, anxiety, worry etc, only slight things set stuff off and you have no idea what you may watch, read on line. Lesson learned. 

Back to happy positive vibes. 

[Mattredrobin]

On 19/08/2024 at 14:50, The Batman said:

Hi all 

I don't recall my last message on here and I can't be arsed to scroll through. 

I had a few months of therapy at the end of last year (they offered me rehab due to the severity of things I'd mentioned in my colsultation (supposed to be 20 mins, but was well over an hour)). I've been in a great place for a while now. No new bad things have happened to me, my families health concerns have eased, work is going great, my daughter is amazing. Delightful. 

But..... 

And this sounds so daft but you have to understand it doesn't take much to set some people's emotions internally.... 

I was watching YouTube on the train in and I came across a deleted scene from a famous movie and ever since watching it, it feels like some ginormous weight is in my head right now. I think it's simply because I can't cry and I really really want to. I won't mention what it was on here in case it sets others off, but let this be an example.. Sometimes, it's best to put the phone down and enjoy the outdoors more. Yes I note the irony that I'm typing this out now but for those that suffer from ptsd, Depression, anxiety, worry etc, only slight things set stuff off and you have no idea what you may watch, read on line. Lesson learned. 

Back to happy positive vibes. 

So pleased to read that therapy has helped you as it did for me too...can totally relate to the emotions I regards to watching things and reading stuff.

[temp]

On 01/08/2024 at 13:51, Midred said:

My mum is 96 and following a series of falls and longer and longet stays in hospital finally moved into a care home in June. She's picked up a bit now but for her the reality of waking up every morning has become something to endure rather than enjoy. As she says, she's lived her life and there's nothing left.

A few years ago.we were told that people were living longer, what they didn't tell.us was that post 70 your qualitity of life can deteriorate rapidly!

My mum did exactly the same BUT during covid, the care home trip from Hospital in Bristol didnt last long, she soon passed on.

I am 72 in April and work outside almost everyday, still shifting tonnes of stone/sand/etc and up and down ladders/scaffold, so yes quality of life CAN deteriorate. but not for me...just yet.

Love my job and work with my son...what else is there? if I have to stop working will have to try to exist but it wont be living.

Edited August 28 by temp

[Midred]

41 minutes ago, temp said:

My mum did exactly the same BUT during covid, the care home trip from Hospital in Bristol didnt last long, she soon passed on.

I am 72 in April and work outside almost everyday, still shifting tonnes of stone/sand/etc and up and down ladders/scaffold, so yes quality of life CAN deteriorate. but not for me...just yet.

Love my job and work with my son...what else is there? if I have to stop working will have to try to exist but it wont be living.

Sorry about your mum.

[temp]

10 minutes ago, Midred said:

Sorry about your mum.

oh please dont be, her family inc my brother and sisters aint spoke to me since..... as I didnt go to her funeral, took my wife to hospital for an eye op to try and save her smashed eye ball in Chelt instead...in the middle of covid, on same day/time f `em....dont ask goes way back to primary school

[phantom]

[Robbored]

2 minutes ago, phantom said:

Long overdue in my view. Should have been accessible years ago.

[temp]

On 21/02/2024 at 07:40, Jerseybean said:

spot on best post for a while

Edited September 6 by temp

[temp]

There are only a couple of people left, that make it worth carrying on, the hurt it would cause them is the only thing that keeps me going atm.Even fed up with footie atm, not watched a full game for years....ah well, one day at a time.

[Ronnie Sinclair]

Anyone ever had dodgy looking moles that were later diagnosed as melanomas - have had a couple on my scalp that have turned out to be malignant recently and have had them removed, but in limbo now waiting for checks for signs of spread.  Anxiety has crept in as a result, although hopefully they've been dealt with and that's that.