Quite a powerful article about grief and football.

[LondonBristolian]

Not Bristol City related but I found this moving. It is a QPR fan writing about losing his Dad and how he related to him through football.

I am sharing it as it feels like something a few people on here might resonate with.

https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/news/58345

[And Its Smith]

Thanks for sharing. going through something similar now with my old man. 

[LondonBristolian]

12 minutes ago, And Its Smith said:

Thanks for sharing. going through something similar now with my old man. 

You have my thoughts and best wishes. Today’s the fourth anniversary of losing my Dad so the article really chimed with things going through my mind.

[MarcusX]

2 hours ago, LondonBristolian said:

Not Bristol City related but I found this moving. It is a QPR fan writing about losing his Dad and how he related to him through football.

I am sharing it as it feels like something a few people on here might resonate with.

https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/news/58345

Thanks for sharing, very emotional - funny and sad.

My Dad and I don’t really have a relationship, the only thing we really bond over is football. I’m City because his Dad took him, and then he took me. I can relate to the author a little, we didn’t grow up poor as such but we had few luxuries. Going to City as a kid was a special occasion, usually a birthday or I remember one fond memory where my Dad told me we were going shopping and it was only when we parked up and started walking that familiar walk along the river that the penny dropped.

My two big football wishes are to watch City in the Prem with him like he did with his Dad, and to see England win a World Cup (again like he did). I don’t know who’s closer to be honest!

 

[Wanderingred]

One of my best friends is from Argentina and their World Cup win helped her mend her relationship with her estranged dad. This is the best game in the word… it really builds bridges and connects people. 

[oldstandrobin]

What a lovely article. My dad took me to AG for my first match in 1958. His dad was from Knowle and an ardent City supporter. Was the days of if you were born north of the Avon ...you were blue, and south....you were thankfully Red. After a few years, we went our separate ways, me to the East End and him to the enclosure with his half brother ( father to @CyderInACan and @SuperDziek) City was constantly a major bond in our life and we did now and then meet up for one of the 'biggies' Luckily Dad and I saw us win in 1966 and again saw us play in the old Division One. So we have been blessed. I lost Dad in 1995 and believe me, it hurt, no longer could I rush home and ring him about our win over ABC team. I had two daughters, neither interested in football, but have a grandson who has just turned 7 and is now ready to take on our legacy. I just have to prepare him for his ordeal he will have to go through !! COYR

[spudski]

It is a lovely article. Which I can relate to.

I lost my father just over a year ago and my mother was a year last week.

So it's still very raw for me. 

Like the article points out...football can bring a strong bond between parents and sons/ daughters 

My Grandfather and Father were both City, and lived for a long time in St Johns lane. So the connection was strong.

Dad encouraged me to play sport, and we'd go to watch City when I wasn't playing.

As I got older, going to games together became the one thing that really bonded us. 

Being of the older generation he'd often compare now to the past. He'd reminisce. We'd often disagree, but in a good way. I'd be constantly explaining how football had changed and it was almost impossible to compare. Trying to explain FFP was hilarious. As we're explaining tactics. ' Why the hell do they keep passing it back or sideways' was often a frustrated plea from him. I'd have to try and explain ...

Sadly over a period of time, his health deteriorated and he also lost most of his eyesight. He was also very deaf. So he was no longer able to attend.

I'd have to set him up with match commentary on his radio, and he'd wear his headphones blaring away in his ears so he could hear. 

If we scored, his legs and arms would kick out and a big shout of ' yayyyyyyyyyy cmon you reds'. Whenever we score now...that's the first thing I hear and see in my head.

Some really great memories...and I still have moments everyday where something will set me off... especially as still going through probate and finding items that bring back memories. I found his Alec Eisentrager signed City legends book recently. It coincided with the article about Alec. I just sat there staring at it and wept...then a great big smile from the happy time that day was. 

They certainly don't prepare you for how it's going to feel, and forever affect you when you lose parents. You just don't think about it beforehand.

It's blooming hard following City...so frustrating...but it's one of the best things my dad and his dad introduced me too. The bond, the memories and time together. Priceless. I wouldn't change a thing. 

I can imagine the same has happened to many families across the world, all bonded by their football club and the great game.

 

 

 

[Red-Robbo]

14 hours ago, LondonBristolian said:

Not Bristol City related but I found this moving. It is a QPR fan writing about losing his Dad and how he related to him through football.

I am sharing it as it feels like something a few people on here might resonate with.

https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/news/58345

 

Nice article. I expect many of us were introduced to City by our fathers.

For me, football was so pervasive in the household that my teenage rebellion (that lasted into my mid 20s) meant hardly ever going to games, which was easy enough as I lived on the other side of the country, had bugger all money and what money I had was destined for more fun things than watching City in the 4th Division.

Of course, to some extent, you turn into your dad as you age. I now find myself telling the same jokes he used to, having the same waistline (after years of being a lean, mean machine *sob*) and - of course - sitting in his old seat at Ashton Gate.

When we pull off an unlikely comeback win, I imagine dad up there watching it.  I don't have any belief in an afterlife, really, but it's comforting to think they won one "for dad".

 

[Numero Uno]

16 hours ago, LondonBristolian said:

You have my thoughts and best wishes. Today’s the fourth anniversary of losing my Dad so the article really chimed with things going through my mind.

The last goal my Dad saw was Tomlin's effort a few years back (last home game of the season before the Lansdown was completed v Huddersfield)..........not a bad way to finish tbf and for that piece of magic alone I can cut Tomlin a lot more slack than some do. It was with great sadness that I had to request a refund on his season ticket for the new seat that he was so looking forward to sitting in. One thing I will say, when twenty odd balding middle aged pissheads are considering protest marches to get "their club back", is the club are top notch at dealing with those situations..........which isn't the case with everyone, that's for sure.

[ZumerZetSmithy]

not read the article , but i came to city through the death of my Father in law , he left a 9 yea old son. the day following funeral i took him to Ashton gate , he has been by my side now 33 ever since .

went together to Coventry  yesterday , we have so many funny memories of our trips . My dad was a whippet man and now my daughter has one . my son came from age of 3 to 18 with us (daughter 4 to 12) If my son is home and city are playing i get a ticket .  i have a tear in my eye just think of my dad and wife's dad  both different and both died young .    did i know what the day after a sad funereal  would give me . glad to been able to do it and hope i am still going 25 years time with a family member 

[petehinton]

I work with Rob and have the pleasure of sitting opposite him, and usually drinking with him somewhere around TCR, during my London days once/twice a week. He is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and shared this on an all company email to the whole agency which IMO was an extremely brave thing to do, especially as he’s part of the leadership team. 
 

Thoughts with anyone who’s ever been through similar, or still coming to terms with something similar no matter how long ago it was. As someone who’s never really had a relationship with his Dad, let alone gone to a game with him, I can’t comprehend how hard it must be to try and get over/get used to. 

[LondonBristolian]

9 hours ago, petehinton said:

I work with Rob and have the pleasure of sitting opposite him, and usually drinking with him somewhere around TCR, during my London days once/twice a week. He is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and shared this on an all company email to the whole agency which IMO was an extremely brave thing to do, especially as he’s part of the leadership team. 
 

Thoughts with anyone who’s ever been through similar, or still coming to terms with something similar no matter how long ago it was. As someone who’s never really had a relationship with his Dad, let alone gone to a game with him, I can’t comprehend how hard it must be to try and get over/get used to. 

I didn’t say this in my original post but I had a few mutual friends with Rob about ten years ago and I’d frequently see him at parties or nights out - he used to DJ at his own night too. He really is a very funny, very likeable man. I’ve not seen him for six years or more but we’re still Facebook friends, hence why I saw the article in the first place.

it is really impressive that he shared this with all his colleagues - there still can be such a taboo about talking about grief for fear of making others uncomfortable yet it affects so many of us.

Edited January 3, 2023 by LondonBristolian

[Kingswood Robin]

I often find myself looking towards the heavens when watching City, wondering what my dad would have made of things. Our last match together was in the double winning season at home to MK Dons. A howler of a back pass from Wade Elliott pegged us back to 2-2. Minutes later he put everything right by scoring the winner. Eleven points clear at the top of the table, we came out of the ground together as pleased as punch. We got to the end of Ashton Road and he started feeling unwell. In less than an hour he was gone. 32 years of watching City together, over in an instant. In his 50 odd years of watching them he never saw them win a title and he missed out on it all that season. Going to the game on my own and putting his scarf on his empty seat on the day we won the title was hard. At the final whistle I didn't know whether to cheer or cry. 

My son is old enough to come with me to games now and that's my biggest regret, that we didn't all get to go to a game together and he never saw my children grow up. I just hope I can be there with my son when we win promotion to the Premier league. I don't care how it goes while we're in there, I just want us to be there together the day we make it.