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phantom

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Posts posted by phantom

  1.                Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. 

    After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.  That's when he realised he had made it home safely.

    Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

    My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house.  Turns out she was a Slovak.

    Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window.  If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

    I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.  To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

    After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy.

    Nothing.

    Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.

    I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.

     

    Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

     

    A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..

    Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher...

     

     Two Indian junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.

    Both in hospital...one's in a korma.. The other's got a dodgy tikka!

     

    In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.

     

    Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth

     

    An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan !  He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats!  It’s doing well!  Prophets are going through the roof!!

     

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

     

    A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'

    Granny replies, bugger the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

     

    Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room.  Dad reluctantly agrees.

    Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?'

    Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

    Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

    Dad says, 'So what were you watching?'

    Billy says, ' Wimbledon ..'

     

     A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.'

    He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'

     

    Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

    Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour!

     

    An elderly couple is attending church.  About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

    He replies, "Get a new hearing aid"

    • Like 2
  2.  Had an Irish mixed grill !!
    New potatoes, roast potatoes, boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, waffles and hash browns with chips.

     


    Got a text saying:
     "Congratulations you have won either £1000 cash or tickets to see Elvis Presley.
    Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.......

     


    "A man walks into a crowded bar with a loaded gun and shouts "who's been shagging my wife?" 

    voice in the back shouts" You don't have enough bullets".....
     


    My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
    Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your boobs cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.

     


    Scouser went to court accused of having sex with a cat.
    The judge dismissed the case saying that in his 30 years as a judge, he'd never known a scouser put anything into a kitty!

     


    A bloke from Barnsley wakes up with a sore arse.
    He goes to the shop and says to the shopkeeper "nah then, does tha' sell arse cream?"
    The shopkeeper replies "That we do Lad, does tha' want a Magnum or a  Cornetto?"

     


    My wife is suffering from depression.
    She phoned me the other day and said "I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help".
    So I sent her a timetable.

     


    I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else.
    My mate Don is brilliant. He had a bad accident where he lost his voice and both legs.
    Does he make a song and dance about it? Does he hell!

    • Like 1
  3. Honestly mate yes the first was a 110% boundary, the bloke had his hands over the boundary scooping it back from the floor, the second a closer call. I have never been to such a hostile cricket game by the way. 2/3 fights nearly broke out between a few Hampshire and Glos fans, was a heated affair off of the pitch. Odd really.

     

    You should visit Taunton when Glamorgan are in town for a T20 !

  4. C'mon the Shire!

     

    It'll be annoying for me if we get Yorkshire at Headingley because I'll be away when it's played. On the plus side it's a chance to get some bragging rights over the gf's parents who aren't keen on accepting that we were on track to beat them at Scarborough last month (no doubt they'll win this time though and I'll have to put up with at least a year of ribbing).

     

     

    See post above r/e the draw

  5. I am just trying to gauge opinion.

    I am happy to hand over the baton but also happy to continue. I try to make it interesting; not always easy.

    One thing I would like to have help on is how to upload the odd image.. i tried to figure this out but messed it up most times. Perhaps someone can give me a run through of what to do. Many thanks.

    Suggest mods close this pole by end of the weekend.

    Easiest way I found it to set up a photo bucket account - it is free.

    On my mobile for example I select the picture I want to upload on here, then just copy the link it gives then hey presto picture appears

    Screenshot_2015-08-14-10-04-21-1_zpsuv2l

  6. That'll be the cab rank rule. We are all entitled to a fair trial as a right and a part of that is a right to legal representation. A barrister's code of conduct, very exceptionally, means that where instructed they must act irrespective of who the client is, personal views on the merits of the case, conduct, guilt... etc.

     

    In the case you highlighted it's very possible they didn't feel they had a choice to turn down the work.  

     

    Assumedly this is a similar thing through all levels of court cases?

    So basically "someone" would have been there for Rovers?

  7. From the thread linked above, this reply is brilliant !

     

    I went to watch Bristol v stade francais a few years back.

    Arrived at the ground but when inside the seat for my ticket did not exist.

    My wife's seat was there but not mine. Seemed that it had been removed from the end of the row to facilitate space for a wheel chair.
    Due to the fact it was a sell out the stewards fetched me a stool from the bar to sit on.
    So maybe we should all bring a bar stool to. Lots available due to the amounts of pubs closing down.

    Would add to the ambience in my opinion!

    • Like 2
  8. My god there are some mindless comments on here. Just think back to the JPT at home to the gas. Quite Simply the best atmosphere I have even been in during a football match and I am an old git. Do we really want to see that rivalry die. Sainsbury have sh1t on rovers as they have shit on numerous others, how would you feel if the boot was on the other foot. All this guff of we hate the rovers, the gas took the piss in our hour of need is not better than play ground politics. It's about time we showed them some support. Long live the rivalry that I grew up with. You never know how much you miss things until it's gone, it's then too late.

     

    I'm intrigued how you define "showing them support"? Should we shop only in Tesco?

    The mess they are in now is down to their own mistakes, morally Sainsburys have wormed out of a contract, but it was widely recognised that they wanted out in 2013, for some reason Rovers were badly advised that their case was "watertight", but that is their problem !! Didn't see them trying to help us in the Ashton Vale fiasco, so feel no need to get involved in any way with this.

     

    JPT was an ok atmosphere but not anywhere near the best !!

    Shall we start a campain to get Hartlepool back as we had a brilliant atmosphere against them once in the past?

     

    Being an "old git" I'm sure that you will clearly remember all the underhand tricks Rovers pulled back in 1982, that reason alone is why I am more than happy to see them disappear.

     

    Personally, don't miss them or the rivalry. I expect we already have a whole generation of supporters that have not watched City have any rivalry with them

    • Like 3
  9. I popped into Sainsbury's in Brislington yesterday on my way home from work. I can report that it was quite busy with no sign of abandoned trolleys filled with shopping.

    I have a sneaky feeling that the blue few's mass boycott/sabotage might not be gaining any momentum.

     

    We need to have a competition who can get a photo of a rovers fan (wearing a shirt) in a Sainsburys store!

  10. Found this written on the Evening Post site, finally someone has some sense of it all !! http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/BRISTOL-ROVERS-DECISION/story-26891234-detail/story.html

     

    Mr Higgs has shown a total lack of respect for the fans.

     

    His tenure has been an unmitigated disaster. He has shown his derision on the lifeblood of the club, it's fans, by closing the official fans forum, diluted the share scheme by re-issuing shares to the point that 1 million of fans money doesn't even get a measly 2% of the grossly inflated valuation of the club. He has been very economical with the truth and perpetrated that this contract was watertight yet it has been shown, beyond any shadows of a doubt, that it was anything but.

     

    This was supposed to be Higgs area of expertise. He was supposed to be the man who knew, who is an expert at building and the regulations yet the contract was described as a colander rather than watertight. There was a definite cut off point and Sainsbury's made the club aware of its decision not to buy as far back as 2013. Higgs reiterated this watertight comment when interviewed by Geoff Twentyman, on radio Bristol. He even banned an ex director for questioning him and being critical, now proved right by the way, of Higgs and his reading of the facts Nick Higgs has shown himself to be so cut off from reality that it beggars belief. He has lost any credibility he may have had with this failure to deliver.

     

    The unprofessional manner of even draughtiness this contract shows him to be unable to delegate, to people who may have been able to put a contract out that was not open to interpretation and allowed Sainsbury's to wriggle out if it. Regardless of the very poor way Sainsbury's have conducted themselves, the fact remains that the law was and is with them. That is fact. That Higgs felt that if he shouted long enough and loud enough, that he would prevail just shows how very out of touch he really is. I think his refusal, even at this point, to accept defeat shows him to be incapable to run the club. Appeal would mean getting leave to appeal firstly and then the appeal itself.

     

    We are talking years and not Months plus huge sums of money to undertake this. His money is guaranteed back as he is using our only asset to find this. If he is allowed to pursue this then the clubs very existence is in jeopardy. He has lost any credibility, has no integrity and honour and is a tyrant. I use string and emotive words and it's necessary. An unmitigated disaster, no more, no less. He cannot be allowed to borrow even more, against the ground, to put on the roulette wheel of the justice system. He is single handedly taking the club to the brink of not existing.

     

    We have enabled him by not criticising and in not questioning with enough vigour. It's a sad day for the club and even sadder for us long suffering fans. One has to ask, is this man addicted to drama ? Seriously. The Wycombe saga made us a laughing stock and it was bad enough being relegated out if the FL. much of the goodwill that other clubs had for us is now gone. I see that any truly decent man would do his part in bringing in new investment and walking away.

     

    I saw today's verdict as the only way he could be partly forgiven, had the verdict gone our way but now this is done, I see a dead Duck chairman who has holed the good ship Rovers below the waterline yet he still doesn't accept the verdict of an high court judge. You cannot make someone buy something they no longer want to buy and they made it abundantly clear they no longer wanted to buy, a long time ago. So much has come to light now that it shows we were not told the truth and much was misrepresented to the point that one has to wonder about his mental health.

     

    Go now please Higgs. You have done enough damage and when you tell us that without you there would be no Rovers, you only inflame and already very hurt fan base.

     

    • Like 1
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