What do you do when you hit rock bottom.

[Dollymarie]

@Dynamite Red please shout if you need help filling in a PIP form as well. I've filled in dozens and dozens with people over the years and have a 100% success rate for people needing to claim it. Only had to go to tribunal once. Won that one too. 

I can print you one off at work if needs be. 

Is the ESA form all done now? Just I have a contact in that area cos of work as well. 

[And Its Smith]

I can't really offer anything other than support on here.

From family members experiences I understand that something like this is incredibly difficult.  Red-Robbo's advice, if you are in the right frame of mind to take it, seems excellent.

I hope that the Jordans Teeth bloke didn't affect you adversely and that you can laugh at someone's ridiculousness.  I've heard he's set up a self help line if it helps - call 0800 TOSSER and he will scream "Pull yourself together" down the phone.  

[And Its Smith]

38 minutes ago, Red Right Hand said:

Whatever else we might disagree about you can pretty much guarantee folks on here will try and help if someone`s in trouble whether it`s by relating their own experiences and how they`re trying to deal with them or just supporting someone who needs it.

Just keep going with those baby steps mate and you`ll get there in the end.

Exactly.  If you rate Mark Little it doesn't make you a bad person.  

[handsofclay]

Hang on in there. It is at times like these you find that there are good and bad people and that the good far outweigh the bad. With your anxiety issues you will need to reorganize your life so that you feel more in control of it and avoid as much as you can anything that triggers stress. From that base you can then gain more confidence which helps you combat the anxiety. But it is a long process. Best of luck to you.

[Lanterne Rouge]

9 minutes ago, RedDave said:

I can't really offer anything other than support on here.

From family members experiences I understand that something like this is incredibly difficult.  Red-Robbo's advice, if you are in the right frame of mind to take it, seems excellent.

I hope that the Jordans Teeth bloke didn't affect you adversely and that you can laugh at someone's ridiculousness.  I've heard he's set up a self help line if it helps - call 0800 TOSSER and he will scream "Pull yourself together" down the phone.  

Reminds me of Denis Leary`s `shut the **** up` stand up routine!

[RedM]

@Dynamite Red the only other advice I can give is never be too proud, stubborn or independent to accept a helping hand. There are plenty of hands being held out to you on here, today's goal should be to grab hold of at least one of them when you are ready. Keep posting, let us know how you are doing. You've already made a huge step by asking for advice on here, don't let one idiot knock you back, you never know you might be the person who has educated the idiot, how good is that!

[martin25]

How about you seek help from friends or even immediate relatives? They can't afford to see you like that. But, you need to humble yourself down and never think that you beg from them. This is life. It's a give and take social relationship. At this time, you need help but later on, you will be the one to help others. 

[And Its Smith]

2 hours ago, Red Right Hand said:

Reminds me of Denis Leary`s `shut the **** up` stand up routine!

It would be ironic if someone stole a Leary routine. 

[Robbored]

DR - I spent virtually all of my career working in mental health and for the last 26 years of my working life I worked as addiction counsellor and during that time I met numerous people in a similar position to yourself - but they had very serious alcohol problems which, in many cases had led them to where they were.

The advice I and my colleagues gave was the same - stop drinking and access the many support organisations available within our city. We would of course assist and guide those willing to change by offering the intial support they needed and one of those was introducing them to self help support. Often they were reluctant to engage, frightened or embarressed but once they had experienced the support environment their reluctance weakened and they benefitted hugely.

If you haven't already done so I would reccomend that you follow the same path. Self help is extremely effective largely because the others attending have a similar problem and hearing their experiences gives you a sense that you are not alone.

Trust me - it really does help. 

[Major Isewater]

Look at rock bottom as  a cross road in your life.  

You have two choices.  1. You stay there 

or.       2. You say to yourself , from here the only way is up.

Every thing happens in life for a reason , it's precisely at this moment , when you have nothing more to give , that you will find the good in others and this alone can give you the boost you need to kick off from the bottom and float serenely to the surface .

Good luck to you .

[Nogbad the Bad]

Take up Big Red Rich's kind offer and keep going to Ashton Gate if you can DR.

Maintaining consistent threads in your life is important, and keeping up the habit of attending BCFC matches, and regularly being at the familiar setting of Ashton Gate itself, can be a big help at times when other constants in your life seem to be disintegrating.

I certainly found this when my parents passed away.

Good luck to you. Hopefully all the genuine good wishes from so many on this thread who you have probably never met will go some way to helping you find the strength to overcome your current difficulties.

All the best mate. 

 

[Jack Dawe]

@Dynamite Red, good luck mate. Fingers crossed for you. Hope things work out. 

 

In my view, for what it's worth, @joe jordans teeth's hurtful comments suggest someone hurting themselves. I'm sure there would be some compassion for him too on here if needed (and if he reins in the angry/hurtful comments).

[The Coach]

If life gets so miserable what would you do, homeless, jobless, estranged from your family due to anxiety and deprrssion, none of the local authorities want to help you and forced to live in your car.

What would you do?

 

I'm not saying I can relate to you personally. But what I'm writing ahead could help. But I've been in a situation where I've felt near enough rock bottom. The feeling of being imprisoned in my own shackles. I was in a situation a few years ago where I was in a job I hated. Hate is a strong word but the only world to describe it. Working 6 days a week, long hours for mere pittance. I'd get up in the morning, go to work, go home, shower, pyjamas then lock myself away for the rest of the evening. It was the same process every day. I developed anxiety and hit depression big time. Along with weight gain. The first step in solving a problem is realising there is one. I finally accepted it was up to me to make a change. People can advice you but cannot do it for you. You either accept where you are, or you fight in for a better life.

One day I was round a friends house, and he whipped out some new running shoes he bought, never ran a day in a life. But told me he was going to start running. For some reason, this stuck in my mind for a couple of weeks. Eventually one Saturday I popped into the local sports shop and bought a random pair of running shoes. So I started to run, 1 mile turned into 2, 2 turned into 4, 4 turned into 8 and so on. I lost weight and was looking and feeling good again. But I thought to myself what else can I achieve? Are there other aspects of my life I can improve? Eventually I joined the gym and started to put on muscle. Going to the gym helped give me that mind-set of positivity. The will to get better, to push on even more than I physically could.

Because of the change at the gym physically and mentally. I decided I had enough of my job. I was going to make a change. I signed up to my local college to do some qualifications on an evening. I worked my ass off 6 days a week while at the same time attending college on an evening. I passed my exams first time. I'm now out of that job and studying as a Programmer. On top as a bonus, I'm looking to becoming a fitness model within the next two years.

You will battle this my friend, darkness comes before the dawn. OTIB forum members are here any time to talk to you. Keep us posted on how you're doing, tell us your emotions and what's going on. You may look back one day and see this as a life obstacle you smashed. It may even make you a greater man.

 

All the best!

 

 

[RedM]

@Red_Wizard that just made me cry. Not with sadness but with pure happiness and pride for you. Thankyou so much for posting and I really hope @Dynamite Redreads this and takes heart. 

[The Coach]

16 hours ago, RedM said:

@Red_Wizard that just made me cry. Not with sadness but with pure happiness and pride for you. Thankyou so much for posting and I really hope @Dynamite Redreads this and takes heart. 

Thank you @RedM made me gulp a bit with your response!

I apologise for the grammar before hand. Wrote that post in a rush.

Looking back it's been quite a whirlwind of emotions and seems a distant memory that never existed. I'm not saying my life is perfect by all means as even now I am debating if even being a programmer is what I really want to do. But giving it my best none the less.

@Dynamite Red when you're up to it and can find the time. I would really recommended joining the gym. Pretty sure it would give you such a high and a feeling of self pride and worth you would of never felt before. It's something totally different. If I did not act on my instinct and buy those trainers or join the gym. I'm pretty sure I would be in the same situation I was 3 years ago, maybe even in a worse state. Hope things are starting to look on the up for you.

 

[BigTone]

You know, sometimes you lot make me proud to be part of the OTIB family

[Up The City!]

First off I have to say a huge well done for having the courage to post something like this on a forum. That's a huge big step to take. There is a stigma attatched to mental health as you have found with your family but I'm finding slowly but surely it is becoming more of an acceptable conversation in society. Although I did read someone write on Facebook the other day how someone was so selfish to take their own life when people with cancer who want to live can't live. Some people fail to understand depression etc is a very selfish illness and that it's an illness just like any other illness.

One thing that has always stuck in my mind is one in four suffer from mental illness and one in four suffer from dandruff problems.

Anyways on to the advice...

First thing you could do is have a self care plan, this could be each day setting yourself a task of doing something for yourself that makes you feel good. It could be anything from having a shave to going for a swim or even reading a book. Just anything you enjoy. Just try and do at least one thing each day just for you. Even though I'm on the other side I still do this religiously as it helps maintain things.

How would you be about staying in a hostel? There is a decent one out in Alveston if you can get in there, there is also many private landlords that rent rooms to homeless people. If recently helped a friend through the same thing and we found Bristol Council are absolutely useless. Much more success was had with South Glos so focus your energies on them. You need to get letters and support from your mental health workers.

When I had my troubles my support worker helped me get a one bedroom housing association property so please access any support you can get. I suggest you be a bit economical with the truth about your car, a car isn't a place to bloody live so tell them you had to get rid of it as couldn't afford to run it.

Keep your phone no matter what as currently that is your lifeline to this world. 

If you ever feel really low please send me a message or admit yourself to a&e, I will even come and sit with you if need be. How are you for food? I'm sure many of us would be able to provide some hot foods/sandwiches and a flask etc.

Come on OTIB this place has been great at helping people ie Oskar and the bloke who had his wallet stolen etc etc. If there is anything you need DR please say, be it blankets, food, clean clothes etc etc and I'm sure within this great community we can help you out.

You may not have the support you had hoped for right now but you are a part of the Bristol City family and we always help our own. I want to ensure that you have the basics in life such as food etc so you can then concentrate on getting yourself back into a better place.

Please please please do not for one second worry about not having a job, ok the money may help but right now the benefits system is designed for people who are going through what you are going through. Being honest getting a job shouldn't even be on your radar right now. To have a job and to hold a job down one needs to have good health and a stable life. Having gone through this myself having a job at that time would have set me back in my recovery imo. I don't want you to stress about being unemployed right now, I want you to concentrate on yourself and yourself only.

Take Care and please remember there is always one of us here for you at any time.

[Up The City!]

On 4/7/2016 at 14:39, Red_Wizard said:

Thank you @RedM made me gulp a bit with your response!

I apologise for the grammar before hand. Wrote that post in a rush.

Looking back it's been quite a whirlwind of emotions and seems a distant memory that never existed. I'm not saying my life is perfect by all means as even now I am debating if even being a programmer is what I really want to do. But giving it my best none the less.

@Dynamite Red when you're up to it and can find the time. I would really recommended joining the gym. Pretty sure it would give you such a high and a feeling of self pride and worth you would of never felt before. It's something totally different. If I did not act on my instinct and buy those trainers or join the gym. I'm pretty sure I would be in the same situation I was 3 years ago, maybe even in a worse state. Hope things are starting to look on the up for you.

 

Just to add something to this, I think GP's run a scheme for people to use the Gym and swimming, anyone have any details on this if DR is interested?

[Phileas Fogg]

5 hours ago, Just Red said:

Just to add something to this, I think GP's run a scheme for people to use the Gym and swimming, anyone have any details on this if DR is interested?

That's right - exercise is brilliant on many levels.. Takes your mind off things, makes you fitter/stronger and obviously the natural release of endorphins. Good idea to get referred to the gym if you can.

@Dynamite Red, best of both may be group activities.. Have you considered martial arts classes? Many of them have a meditation aspect which also helps. I've made lots of friends from doing them and find people at those classes to be extremely supportive and friendly. Something with high intensity fitness combined (kickboxing, boxing, muai thai) for example would be great. It may sound a bit daunting but I'm convinced it'll help.

Also, what amazing contributions by everyone. What a great community we have here.

[Dollymarie]

@Dynamite Red if you're struggling to get clothes washed, let me know. I mean it. 

[BigTone]

2 hours ago, Dollymarie said:

@Dynamite Red if you're struggling to get clothes washed, let me know. I mean it. 

PM'd you Dolls

[Dynamite Red]

Thanks for the very kind offers. Very humbled by the responses.

Sorry for not replying sooner. Thing's are slowly starting to improve on the housing side of things and hopefully going to be put into a council flat within the next 6 weeks, though got into a routine of sleeping in the car, was admitted to hospital with pneumonia but was nice to have a bed to sleep in and hot food. Slowly getting the help I need but it has really opened my eyes to how poorly this country treats those in genuine need. Thanks for support and kind offers, I will try and keep more regular updates.

[phantom]

10 hours ago, Dynamite Red said:

Thanks for the very kind offers. Very humbled by the responses.

Sorry for not replying sooner. Thing's are slowly starting to improve on the housing side of things and hopefully going to be put into a council flat within the next 6 weeks, though got into a routine of sleeping in the car, was admitted to hospital with pneumonia but was nice to have a bed to sleep in and hot food. Slowly getting the help I need but it has really opened my eyes to how poorly this country treats those in genuine need. Thanks for support and kind offers, I will try and keep more regular updates.

Every small step, is a step in the right direction !

Keep up the great efforts

[Dollymarie]

22 hours ago, Dynamite Red said:

Thanks for the very kind offers. Very humbled by the responses.

Sorry for not replying sooner. Thing's are slowly starting to improve on the housing side of things and hopefully going to be put into a council flat within the next 6 weeks, though got into a routine of sleeping in the car, was admitted to hospital with pneumonia but was nice to have a bed to sleep in and hot food. Slowly getting the help I need but it has really opened my eyes to how poorly this country treats those in genuine need. Thanks for support and kind offers, I will try and keep more regular updates.

 @Dynamite Red Housing via Bristol or South glos? Asking so I can direct you to the right people to help with furniture etc. 

Please keep posting when you can. Had a couple of PM's from people wondering if you were ok. 

[Dynamite Red]

Situation is much the same as my last post. Dolls I am on the waiting list for South Glos. I have several social workers helping me out so hopefully not to long to wait. 

[Up The City!]

1 hour ago, Dynamite Red said:

Situation is much the same as my last post. Dolls I am on the waiting list for South Glos. I have several social workers helping me out so hopefully not to long to wait. 

Absolutely delighted things are slowly improving for you. You will get there I promise you. South Glos are much better than Bristol are dealing with homelessness.

[Dollymarie]

On 25 April 2016 at 20:26, Dynamite Red said:

Situation is much the same as my last post. Dolls I am on the waiting list for South Glos. I have several social workers helping me out so hopefully not to long to wait. 

Good, glad you now have people helping you.

Have you got somewhere to wash yer clothes and stuff? Shout if you need to borrow my machine. I'm gonna send you a PM about something a mo if you don't mind. 

[Dollymarie]

Just wondering how things are @Dynamite Red ?  

[Dynamite Red]

Sorry disappeared off the face of the Earth for a while (smart phone died).

I am no longer in my car, I am staying in a gutted out house of a mate who is renovating it which is much better and really grateful for.

A couple of weeks ago I was accepted for a new build flat in Coalpit Heath which is the best thing to happen to me for a long, long time. Just need to wait now for them to finish building it which is another month or so.

Mental health is pretty good and a lot less anxious now I am getting some help with more in the pipeline, I have been crying out for this help for the last 20 years so great to finally have the wheels in motion.

Not much more to add, just a case of waiting for thing to happen, I hate being bored or waiting but also really grateful that my life seems to be turning around, thanks for the support on here, apologies to Tony for not replying to his message.

[Lanterne Rouge]

Great stuff mate. See, the help is there if you can just pluck up the courage to ask for it - I bet your mate who`s house it is didn`t have any idea of the state you were in until you told him. The new flat is fabulous news (even though it is in Holloway territory in Coalpit Heath!) so things are really on the up for you by the sound of it.

One thing you should do now is to find out where the local charities that recycle used furniture and white goods are and get your name down as you`re going to need all that stuff when your flat`s ready for you.

Keep it up mate - slow and steady wins the race - and keep in touch.