Embarrassed to be a city fan tonight

[Bedred31]

Often pleasantly surprised how good stewards can be at away grounds to visiting supporters in need of assistance. Those at Millwall were fantastic with my elderly dad ( who was recovering from an op.) a few years ago. Hope ours are as good.

[RedEd73]

34 minutes ago, W-S-M Seagull said:

I've fallen out of love with going to matches because of our fans behaviour. I've had people shout at my 8 year old child because he wasn't watching the game (but causing no bother) 

I've yet to take him to an away game because of the experiences your lad has experienced. 

For other a year now at Ashton Gate we've had problems with those that sir behind us. They spend 90 mins swearing. Constantly report it to the club and stewards and despite them being warned it continues. The difficulty is that the majority of it is just them speaking for 90 mins with every other word beinf a swear word. You'd need a steward to be sat there to hear it. 

Before this my son had never used a swear word in his life. Now he is using it at school and is getting in trouble for it which is impacting his education. When approached these people say "he should either be at home or in the family stand" as a father I feel a real lack of respect that despite requests to stop, they continue to persistently swear. All were trying to do is watch a game of football yet its having a big impact in our lives because some people didn't obviously have good role models in their life. 

Sorry to read this. I had an incident at the Gate last year where an elderly fan verbally abused my 10 year old and 10 year old niece whilst I was in the toilet with my 8 year old. Some brilliant City fans stepped in until I returned. Reported to the club and have to say Jerry was fantastic. Contact the club, give them the seat numbers etc. Good luck. 

[RedM]

2 hours ago, Olé said:

Yeah there were a few idiots there last night and if it helps that wasn't my first away match.

Some of the absolute bollocks they came out with was embarrassing. First time on the beers.

Yup, whenever we travel in large numbers to these sort of games it always attracts the idiots. Go to Rotherham etc and you see none of that.

[mattjb]

Giving abuse to 8 year old kids? As a father it makes me feel sickened. What’s wrong with these idiots, makes you wonder whether the next day when the booze/drugs have worn off if they feel any remorse. I doubt it. 

[Open End Numb Legs]

So, what do we think is the underlying cause these days? Drugs?

I will admit to being a naive oldie, but it sounds a tough thing to control if so.

Early kick offs and no alcohol won't help if someone can take something in a matter of seconds.

I know a head doorman of a club who tells me there is no reasoning with such people, they lose control of common sense and it explains the abuse to the young and elderly.

It probably explains why stewards are reluctant to get involved too.

[italian dave]

2 hours ago, Lewisdabaron said:

Just to be clear, that’s clearly not what I said. Read my post again. 

I said an awayday regular would have seen it all before & be used to it. 
 

I’m an away day regular. I’ve seen it all before. I’m used to it. But I can (and do) still find it embarrassing, disgusting, pathetic - all the words that have been used to describe it.

Im not sure why you can’t or don’t? And if you do, then why is your first post a challenge to @Stockwood gate rather than agreeing with them? 

[Ronnie Sinclair]

The problem I have these days with public places is they are full of the public!  Thought it was just me at first getting older and less tolerant / grouchy but there is a fair quotent of idiots in our society now, determined to have 'fun' at other people's expense.

Picking on anyone is lowlife behaviour, and you can't really challenge it in fear of your own safety

[spudski]

It would be nice if there was a ' hierarchy' of respected older fans who have a bit of ' authority' about them, that could ' Police' some of  bellends. 

It's worse having bellends in your own support than the opposition's imo. 

[petehinton]

Every away day in football atm seems to just be 14-17 year old ‘hard men’ jumping up and down acting hard 4 yards away from opposition fans, who could actually ‘get to them’ if they really were fighters who wanted a scrap, recording the whole thing on their phones to put on their Instagram / Snapchat stories.

All before going home to their parents house and playing FIFA all night. 
 

It’s cringe as ****. 

[Fjmcity]

2 hours ago, Phileas Fogg said:

Not trying to diminish your experience, but what did your dad say to them? I’d find it fairly implausible that they’d react like that unless he gave them an earful.

Certainly not implausible. At QPR I was sat near a city fan who started offering a fellow fan out just because he had the audacity to request his missus stopped vaping in front of him as it was billowing smoke into his face

[Topper 123]

I witnessed 20 odd youths disembark from a coach after the game and chase a crowd of Southampton fans of about same number down a lane obviously set on violence, god knows what the outcome was 

[spudski]

29 minutes ago, petehinton said:

Every away day in football atm seems to just be 14-17 year old ‘hard men’ jumping up and down acting hard 4 yards away from opposition fans, who could actually ‘get to them’ if they really were fighters who wanted a scrap, recording the whole thing on their phones to put on their Instagram / Snapchat stories.

All before going home to their parents house and playing FIFA all night. 
 

It’s cringe as ****. 

And when they do actually meet up they all start dancing like the Inbetweeners

 

[Magic Man]

1 hour ago, mattjb said:

Giving abuse to 8 year old kids? As a father it makes me feel sickened. What’s wrong with these idiots, makes you wonder whether the next day when the booze/drugs have worn off if they feel any remorse. I doubt it. 

Can I add a tiny bit of context to this.... Firstly the kid wasn't 8 (sorry Rob) but more like 12.

Yes it was embarrassing and yes I felt sorry for the kid, but he was stood as close to the City fans as he could and, egged on by his parents, was giving out hand gestures and mouthing off to City fans the whole game.

I'm not trying to play down the incident - I have kids of a similar age - but it would have been a lot worse if it was an innocent 8 year old (and not 12) minding his own business, trying to watch the game.

He was playing along for the most part before it went too far. 

It was embarrassing and out of order, but had I read this thread and not been there to witness it the picture in my head would've been bleaker than the reality. 

[westred1]

Coked up idiots with arms aloft on the left-side stairwell more interested in poking fun a young lad, screaming in people's faces to 'f'ing sing... get behind the team' when they haven't even watched a kick...

Brought up on Football Factory and Green Street with (fake) Stone Island coursing through their veins. Pathetic and embarrassing.

[Harry]

12 minutes ago, Magic Man said:

Can I add a tiny bit of context to this.... Firstly the kid wasn't 8 (sorry Rob) but more like 12.

Yes it was embarrassing and yes I felt sorry for the kid, but he was stood as close to the City fans as he could and, egged on by his parents, was giving out hand gestures and mouthing off to City fans the whole game.

I'm not trying to play down the incident - I have kids of a similar age - but it would have been a lot worse if it was an innocent 8 year old (and not 12) minding his own business, trying to watch the game.

He was playing along for the most part before it went too far. 

It was embarrassing and out of order, but had I read this thread and not been there to witness it the picture in my head would've been bleaker than the reality. 

And there’s the balance to the argument. 
Plenty of gobby 12/13 year olds in grounds these days and they attract the ‘banter/abuse’ from the opposition fans. 
That’s no biggie to me. Kid was clearly giving it large and got a bit back. No harm done. 
 

As for the original posters point, I don’t know why the stewards moved you directly next to the vociferous home fans. That area is always going to be one which gets a bit gobby and colourful. 
There were plenty of seats behind the goal in the lower tier. In fact, plenty of seats everywhere as there were about 200 fans who just drank in the concourse all game and watched it on tv. 

[RedM]

2 hours ago, Open End Numb Legs said:

So, what do we think is the underlying cause these days? Drugs?

I will admit to being a naive oldie, but it sounds a tough thing to control if so.

Early kick offs and no alcohol won't help if someone can take something in a matter of seconds.

I know a head doorman of a club who tells me there is no reasoning with such people, they lose control of common sense and it explains the abuse to the young and elderly.

It probably explains why stewards are reluctant to get involved too.

I work with a lot of youngsters in my job, I mean they are colleagues. I am absolutely staggered about those who regularly smoke weed or whatever just to 'cope' with daily life. Many have depression, self diagnosed in all cases and need a smoke to get through the day. They cant wait for their shift to finish so they can get on it again. Got to stress they don't smoke weed at work, instant dismissal so make do with ordinary cigarettes or vapes. They are nearly all heavy drinkers too. On weekends they get absolutely hammered through drink and drugs. It seems their way or life amongst them and their mates/peers.

[archie andrews]

Not condoning any abuse etc but things were far worse 70s/80s imagine if the Internet was about then.... 

[The Dolman Pragmatist]

Sadly, I haven’t been to an away match since the Trophy final at the Millennium Stadium in 2003, where I sat with my wife and father in law in front of a row of the most seriously unpleasant people it’s ever been my misfortune to encounter.  From what I remember (I’ve since tried to blot it out), they were smartly-dressed, seemingly white-collared men in their 30s.  Certainly the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had at a football match.

[Olé]

1 hour ago, Magic Man said:

Can I add a tiny bit of context to this.... Firstly the kid wasn't 8 (sorry Rob) but more like 12.

To be fair mate I was trying to watch the football so only glanced across once to see what the fuss was about.

But if a 12 year old is making gestures at me I'd like to think as a grown adult I might be able to leave him out of my row with some home fans.

Edited November 30, 2023 by Olé

[Wanderingred]

My dad and a few other old timers he knows can’t be bothered with away games anymore, precisely because of the kind of scum that the original poster referred to. Their balls have barely dropped and after a few cans of White Lightning, they think they are invulnerable. 

[bcfc01]

1 hour ago, Magic Man said:

Can I add a tiny bit of context to this.... Firstly the kid wasn't 8 (sorry Rob) but more like 12.

Yes it was embarrassing and yes I felt sorry for the kid, but he was stood as close to the City fans as he could and, egged on by his parents, was giving out hand gestures and mouthing off to City fans the whole game.

I'm not trying to play down the incident - I have kids of a similar age - but it would have been a lot worse if it was an innocent 8 year old (and not 12) minding his own business, trying to watch the game.

He was playing along for the most part before it went too far. 

It was embarrassing and out of order, but had I read this thread and not been there to witness it the picture in my head would've been bleaker than the reality. 

At 12 he is a child.

If his parents were egging him on, then thats a sad indictment on them and a poor outlook for the child.

But a normal adult would have just ignored him.

[BigAl&Toby]

1 minute ago, Olé said:

To be fair mate I was trying to watch the football so only glanced across once to see what the fuss was about.

But if a 12 year old is making gestures at me I'd like to think as a grown adult I might be able to leave him out of my row with some home fans.

So would I. But if it’s the “family” that I noticed - front row, sat on the end of the row, often waving at us - then I’d also question the adult/s that were with him.

The one I presume to be the father was setting a fine example with some very odd behaviour of his own. If he is the father and that’s his son I’d suggest the lad finds another role model.

Either way it’s pathetic and unnecessary. On all sides.

[Red Army 75]

There was a video going round a few weeks ago.Showed a couple of Stoke fans giving it the big one to someone. The camera turned and it was a young child ( Leicester City fan) Very strange behaviour. 

 

 

[CTRed]

Always embarrassed to be associated with the club at away games nowadays due to this behaviour unfortunately. About time the club got a grip on it and started weeding (no pun intended) the chavvy f*ckers out and banning them. Not difficult to do if you have people in the away end. 

[MarcusX]

55 minutes ago, BigAl&Toby said:

So would I. But if it’s the “family” that I noticed - front row, sat on the end of the row, often waving at us - then I’d also question the adult/s that were with him.

The one I presume to be the father was setting a fine example with some very odd behaviour of his own. If he is the father and that’s his son I’d suggest the lad finds another role model.

Either way it’s pathetic and unnecessary. On all sides.

Seen quite a bit of it recently, at Millwall there was one particular lad and what I assume was his dad continuously V signing and other gestures at the away fans all game and even stayed after the game to carry on. Lad must have been about 10-12 no older.

Similarly at the Ipswich home game in Dolman block next to away fans there was a young lad who spent half the game shouting, swearing and what not towards away fans and each time looking back at his dad for approval.

I feel sorry for these kids, they’ve been let down by shit parenting, but it’d also not new - I remember at school when we started going at that age there was a group from our year who where Swindon fans and just went to try and scrap every week.

[spudski]

2 hours ago, RedM said:

I work with a lot of youngsters in my job, I mean they are colleagues. I am absolutely staggered about those who regularly smoke weed or whatever just to 'cope' with daily life. Many have depression, self diagnosed in all cases and need a smoke to get through the day. They cant wait for their shift to finish so they can get on it again. Got to stress they don't smoke weed at work, instant dismissal so make do with ordinary cigarettes or vapes. They are nearly all heavy drinkers too. On weekends they get absolutely hammered through drink and drugs. It seems their way or life amongst them and their mates/peers.

It's become ' trendy' to suffer from something it seems, even with some adults. ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, depression seem the most common. 

My mates daughter in her 30s has all the above, self diagnosed. As do her mates. They seem to revel in it. It's all they talk about.  It's a proper knitted hat problem whilst thinking the world is about to burn...

[TDarwall]

Went to Tranmere many moons ago. A couple or lads about 10 offered to "mind the car" for a fiver. When we asked why they weren't at home with their mum they said "she's out  shagging".  Happy, simpler times.

[W-S-M Seagull]

3 hours ago, bcfc01 said:

At 12 he is a child.

If his parents were egging him on, then thats a sad indictment on them and a poor outlook for the child.

But a normal adult would have just ignored him.

Exactly. He is 12, a child, they are adults. It's rather concerning that some consider him 'fair game' because he was giving it. Wouldn't want to see their Internet history! 

Poor lad has been let down by his parents as it is. Doesn't need more adults setting a bad example, needs quote the opposite infact!

[W-S-M Seagull]

2 hours ago, spudski said:

It's become ' trendy' to suffer from something it seems, even with some adults. ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, depression seem the most common. 

My mates daughter in her 30s has all the above, self diagnosed. As do her mates. They seem to revel in it. It's all they talk about.  It's a proper knitted hat problem whilst thinking the world is about to burn...

All this does is diminish the experiences of those that do actually have those conditions. If these people actually had these conditions, they'd not consider it cool! 

I'd suggest for them to he self diagnosing themselves, that probably suggests they have some sort of other mental health problem! 

Bizarrely in my own experiences, those that self diagnose actually think that they are more entitled to be ocd, adhd etc than those that have genuinely been diagnosed! 

I always think, if their self diagnosed condition is as extreme as they say it is, then how come they have never been diagnosed? And for me that says it all! 

[spudski]

1 minute ago, W-S-M Seagull said:

All this does is diminish the experiences of those that do actually have those conditions. If these people actually had these conditions, they'd not consider it cool! 

I'd suggest for them to he self diagnosing themselves, that probably suggests they have some sort of other mental health problem! 

Bizarrely in my own experiences, those that self diagnose actually think that they are more entitled to be ocd, adhd etc than those that have genuinely been diagnosed! 

I always think, if their self diagnosed condition is as extreme as they say it is, then how come they have never been diagnosed? And for me that says it all! 

If they have mental disorders, then that's pretty much all her friends

I've also worked with quite a few like it. And hear the same experience from other parents. 

It is all very odd.