Embarrassed to be a city fan tonight

[Calculus]

2 hours ago, spudski said:

It's become ' trendy' to suffer from something it seems, even with some adults. ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, depression seem the most common. 

My mates daughter in her 30s has all the above, self diagnosed. As do her mates. They seem to revel in it. It's all they talk about.  It's a proper knitted hat problem whilst thinking the world is about to burn...

Munchausen's Syndrome, I believe it's called, or maybe the Worried Well.

Often they seek treatment for whatever it is, and they pose a significant strain on the NHS.

[LondonBristolian]

33 minutes ago, W-S-M Seagull said:

All this does is diminish the experiences of those that do actually have those conditions. If these people actually had these conditions, they'd not consider it cool! 

I'd suggest for them to he self diagnosing themselves, that probably suggests they have some sort of other mental health problem! 

Bizarrely in my own experiences, those that self diagnose actually think that they are more entitled to be ocd, adhd etc than those that have genuinely been diagnosed! 

I always think, if their self diagnosed condition is as extreme as they say it is, then how come they have never been diagnosed? And for me that says it all! 

The side that gets overlooked is how hard it is to get a diagnosis. There is a 2 or 3 year wait for ADHD or autism diagnoses whereas something like dyspraxia takes about £900 for a private diagnosis as the NHS won’t diagnose adults, or necessarily support people if they get the diagnosis.

The reality is there isn’t a sudden epidemic but a massive historic failure to identify and support people who struggled in the past. ADHD and autism in women in particular has long been ignored and overlooked and, even now, diagnosis is very challenging to get. And yes, that will mean there are some people who incorrectly believe they have a condition they don’t actually have. But there are far more that aren’t accessing the support they need. 

[PHILINFRANCE]

1 hour ago, W-S-M Seagull said:

Exactly. He is 12, a child, they are adults. It's rather concerning that some consider him 'fair game' because he was giving it. Wouldn't want to see their Internet history! 

Poor lad has been let down by his parents as it is. Doesn't need more adults setting a bad example, needs quote the opposite infact!

Unfortunately, they seem to be starting younger every year.

[W-S-M Seagull]

13 minutes ago, LondonBristolian said:

The side that gets overlooked is how hard it is to get a diagnosis. There is a 2 or 3 year wait for ADHD or autism diagnoses whereas something like dyspraxia takes about £900 for a private diagnosis as the NHS won’t diagnose adults, or necessarily support people if they get the diagnosis.

The reality is there isn’t a sudden epidemic but a massive historic failure to identify and support people who struggled in the past. ADHD and autism in women in particular has long been ignored and overlooked and, even now, diagnosis is very challenging to get. And yes, that will mean there are some people who incorrectly believe they have a condition they don’t actually have. But there are far more that aren’t accessing the support they need. 

My son has been on the waiting list for an autism diagnoses for 3 years now. It took the school about 2 years to do the referral for a diagnosis. Apparently still another 2 years to go. Covid has had a huge impact on that young generation. Not only are children behind in their education. There is huge delays in getting diagnosis. The support my son gets at school is fantastic however the school are constantly rowing against the tide as no outside support can be given until he gets that official diagnosis. 

I know quite a few 40+ year olds that are only being diagnosed now. There was a huge historic failure which has had had huge impact on people's lives. 

Whilst there are long waiting lists now, I think it would be unlikely although not impossible that big numbers currently in their teens has got through until now without a diagnosis. There is a huge amount of 15-18 year olds that identify as autistic etc because they have self diagnosed themselves. That's what my comments really refer to and I just find it to be unlikely. Just like how there are big numbers that identify as a cat! When obviously they are not a cat. 

[LondonBristolian]

19 minutes ago, W-S-M Seagull said:

My son has been on the waiting list for an autism diagnoses for 3 years now. It took the school about 2 years to do the referral for a diagnosis. Apparently still another 2 years to go. Covid has had a huge impact on that young generation. Not only are children behind in their education. There is huge delays in getting diagnosis. The support my son gets at school is fantastic however the school are constantly rowing against the tide as no outside support can be given until he gets that official diagnosis. 

I know quite a few 40+ year olds that are only being diagnosed now. There was a huge historic failure which has had had huge impact on people's lives. 

Whilst there are long waiting lists now, I think it would be unlikely although not impossible that big numbers currently in their teens has got through until now without a diagnosis. There is a huge amount of 15-18 year olds that identify as autistic etc because they have self diagnosed themselves. That's what my comments really refer to and I just find it to be unlikely. Just like how there are big numbers that identify as a cat! When obviously they are not a cat. 

Thanks for clarifying and good luck to your son. 

Most of the people I know of who either have or are seeking diagnosis but suspect they are autism or ADHD are adults in their late 20s or above - which as you say is from a huge historic failure. I know a lot less about the current situation of 15 - 18 year olds beyond that I've got a few teachers in my family and friendship groups and what they tell me reflects what you say - i.e. that the knowledge and support from schools is good but the wider educational support structure far less so for there reasons you say. I certainly agree that it's far more likely a teenager would have a condition picked up now than it was a few years ago.

At the same time, whilst there's obviously a bit of a re-balancing going on and even if there are some people self-diagnosis in accurately, I'd certainly take it over the failures of the past. My Grandfather - who had a lot of behaviour's that would now likely be diagnosed as autism - drifted from factory job to factory job and couldn't stay in one place, struggled to make friends and certainly didn't get support he'd likely have needed and my grandmother - who I suspect would have been diagnosed with depression - spent at least the last 15 years of life constantly tired, unmotivated to do anything and I don't think I ever saw her experience joy. Whenever I remember them, I wonder how much better their lives could have been with proper support - and how much worse my life would have been had I not been of an age where I could access it.

The greater awareness is undoubtedly a good thing, even if there are some people who are quick to identify with conditions they might not actually have. 

[KendrickDNB]

Was quite a few little turds acting up there last night tbf

[Mr Popodopolous]

It's basic numbers. I sympathise with the OP.

All clubs have a portion of idiots etc in their following.

The bigger the numbers travelling, the higher the likelihood of idiots etc being among them. In % and absolute terms, the closer the away day the more likely to contain some idiots at x albeit not always.

Report them, call them out- contact Jerry perhaps.

Edited November 30, 2023 by Mr Popodopolous

[redkev]

10 hours ago, Son of Fred said:

Thats the trouble I find with away matches- you find yourself lumped in with the brainless wonders....

My grandson is getting itchy for his first away trip although I'm aware of the negatives.

He will be one of them in a few years ( joking hopefully ) it’s not just football , it’s a society thing people not just kids just have no respect for anything or anybody anymore , apart from work , football & holidays I do my best to stay In my house / garden it ain’t a nice world out there anymore ,

if me and the good wife do go out for a beer / food on the weekend it’s late afternoon and back in doors by 8pm

as for news years eve - no thanks people think there aloud to be arseholes - nice curry watching some shite on tv and get woken up by fireworks at 12 quick look out of the curtains then drag myself upstairs asleep by 12.05

[redkev]

20 minutes ago, KendrickDNB said:

Was quite a few little turds acting up there last night tbf

Seems a bit strange at the home games unless I’m blind or in totally the wrong areas I never see any of the hoolie types 

[KendrickDNB]

1 hour ago, redkev said:

Seems a bit strange at the home games unless I’m blind or in totally the wrong areas I never see any of the hoolie types 

Defo get them at home as well but seem to notice it more away.

 

saw like a 14 year old lad spark up a ciggie yesterday in the stand was like wtf the cheek of it

[BigTone]

2 hours ago, PHILINFRANCE said:

Unfortunately, they seem to be starting younger every year.

This pic has being doing the rounds for years

[PHILINFRANCE]

4 minutes ago, BigTone said:

This pic has being doing the rounds for years

Oh, I know, and I am pretty sure I read some years ago that the Feyenoord badge is actually photoshopped, the original photo having  been taken at a NFL game in the USA.

[OliOTIB]

Was stood on the right side of the away end last night, a lot of back and forth - and tbh they really werent much better- anyone else notice those lads who thought they were in green street wearing flat caps? Cant of been older than 16.

Worst part for me was seeing two kids, cant be older than 12 stood on the segregation netting after the game, both had fags in their mouths, then saw them both smoking em with who I presumed to be their dad outside? What kind of sick parenting is that!

 

[sglosbcfc]

Not condoning any of the bad behaviour last night, some of it was very poor and cringeworthy. However, it is all a million miles away from the 1980s. I remember watching a match at Bolton in about 1988 where I was sat in the stand, and below me on the terrace was a mini riot involving about 100 City fans and 100 Bolton fans. You also had monkey chants at matches and bananas thrown, chants of 'get yer t*ts out for the lads' if anyone female aged 14-60 walked anywhere and had breasts larger than a B cup, coins, bricks, cups of P*ss etc thrown, chairs ripped out and thrown, fires lit on terraces etc.

Today's match experience is so different and so much more sanitised. That said, I'll say again, some horrible behaviour still at times and the chanting at a 12 year old is out of order however much of a bell end his dad is.

[W-S-M Seagull]

16 minutes ago, sglosbcfc said:

Not condoning any of the bad behaviour last night, some of it was very poor and cringeworthy. However, it is all a million miles away from the 1980s. I remember watching a match at Bolton in about 1988 where I was sat in the stand, and below me on the terrace was a mini riot involving about 100 City fans and 100 Bolton fans. You also had monkey chants at matches and bananas thrown, chants of 'get yer t*ts out for the lads' if anyone female aged 14-60 walked anywhere and had breasts larger than a B cup, coins, bricks, cups of P*ss etc thrown, chairs ripped out and thrown, fires lit on terraces etc.

Today's match experience is so different and so much more sanitised. That said, I'll say again, some horrible behaviour still at times and the chanting at a 12 year old is out of order however much of a bell end his dad is.

I get the point totally that you're making. However just because it's better these days doesn't mean it's OK. There is still quite some way to go. 

I go to games and enjoy myself without abusing kids or upsetting others. I struggle to understand why others can't. 

[KendrickDNB]

37 minutes ago, OliOTIB said:

Was stood on the right side of the away end last night, a lot of back and forth - and tbh they really werent much better- anyone else notice those lads who thought they were in green street wearing flat caps? Cant of been older than 16.

Worst part for me was seeing two kids, cant be older than 12 stood on the segregation netting after the game, both had fags in their mouths, then saw them both smoking em with who I presumed to be their dad outside? What kind of sick parenting is that!

 

yeah was there like 3 of them and then one bloke who I presume was the dad?

[fairweather]

21 hours ago, Stockwood gate said:

I went along to the match tonight with my father in his 70’s , my dad has mobility issues and our allocated seats were far to high up for dad , we approached the stewards who were amazing and was given a special area for special requirements down by the Southampton fans left hand comer flag , half way through the match we had three city fans  who just walked in the little area and were constantly abusing Southampton fans also  a lady behind who was ever worse I have never heard such vile abuse from a city fan in 35 years it got that bad my father turned around and told them to shut up they almost started on my  father , these fans were scum 

I posted something similar after QPR away a few years ago. Coked up idiots jumping around shouting and singing openly racist abuse at QPR players. 
 

I’ve done lots of away days including places like Crawley and Mk dons as well as the great Fulham and Charlton (back in the day) fixtures. This lot did shock me. It wasn’t my normal and should not be accepted

[REDOXO]

Condensed version. Big away following has a few knob heads shocker! 
 

And

 

@BigTonehas a Millwall shirt! 

[BarnzFM]

I think the shocker here is that there seems to be an acceptance that this is just the way it is.

[Robbored]

17 hours ago, spudski said:

It's become ' trendy' to suffer from something it seems, even with some adults. ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, depression seem the most common. 

My mates daughter in her 30s has all the above, self diagnosed. As do her mates. They seem to revel in it. It's all they talk about.  It's a proper knitted hat problem whilst thinking the world is about to burn...

Adults like that tend to migrate to each other and that group experience reinforces their belief that their suffering is normal.

They blame everyone and everything for their pain but never look to treat themselves with fairly basic CBT techniques much of which is common sense.

[spudski]

26 minutes ago, Robbored said:

Adults like that tend to migrate to each other and that group experience reinforces their belief that their suffering is normal.

They blame everyone and everything for their pain but never look to treat themselves with fairly basic CBT techniques much of which is common sense.

You can usually find them in their natural habitat in the Tobacco Factory.

Fully kitted out in knitted hats, drinking herbal tea, sharing a granola bar, comparing charity shop bargains, whilst kids Tellulu and Felix run riot. All whilst over worked father Brandon, most likely an IT project manager, is parking up their Gas guzzling Evoque, looking forward to their family holiday skiing in St Moritz. 

Ohhhh the anxiety of life

[ralphindevon]

The thing about away games is you can go and stand pretty much where you like. You can usually see where the trouble spots are going to be, avoid them and concentrate on and enjoy the game.

And no I’m not saying these things people are witnessing is right but unless you’ve got an answer how to eradicate it, I know I haven’t, then just avoid it. I was there on Wednesday, enjoyed the game uninterrupted and didn’t notice any unsavoury going ons. Same with all the sold out away days in recent years. 
 

[RedM]

I was very close to the segregation on Wednesday night and saw a few of the overspills. Even before they scored fans were having a go at eachother and the police moved into the area but remained lower down in the stand. I was surprised to see the Police very obviously filming the home fan troublemakers and at least one was removed fairly early on.

I've never seen them do this before. No matter what the home fans are doing it's always the away fans who are treated as the troublemakers in my experience. I've seen home fans throwing things and acting really threateningly but police and stewards always ignore this, even turning their backs on them and just face the away fans who seemingly just have to take this. 

Some away games are a great experience, but some still are pretty ropey. 

[Steve Watts]

On 30/11/2023 at 07:36, LondonBristolian said:

The point where a bunch of our fans started bullying a young kid was the low point for me. 

The kid in red?

[Bristol Rob]

1 hour ago, BarnzFM said:

I think the shocker here is that there seems to be an acceptance that this is just the way it is.

The Bruce Hornsby Ultras are gonna get ya. 

[Steve Watts]

On 30/11/2023 at 07:36, LondonBristolian said:

The point where a bunch of our fans started bullying a young kid was the low point for me. 

The kid in red? I was stood next to the idiots who started the "Who's the fatty in the red".  I called the ringleader out for it. "You can't be shouting that a kid. FFS"  The response was "it's just ******* banter mate lighten up".  They were knobs for most of the match with one of them shoving a steward when he approached them to stop them vaping.  They clearly have an issue with stewarding as he went down to the front and nothing more was done.  

[LondonBristolian]

16 minutes ago, Steve Watts said:

The kid in red? I was stood next to the idiots who started the "Who's the fatty in the red".  I called the ringleader out for it. "You can't be shouting that a kid. FFS"  The response was "it's just ******* banter mate lighten up".  They were knobs for most of the match with one of them shoving a steward when he approached them to stop them vaping.  They clearly have an issue with stewarding as he went down to the front and nothing more was done.  

Yeah - the kid in red. Good for you for speaking out. I was a little bit too far away from it to see who exactly was doing it but don’t know how confident I would have been calling them out. I’m really glad someone did. It is depressing to hear they were knobs throughout but not surprising. Doesn’t sound great on the stewarding front as you say. 

[W-S-M Seagull]

26 minutes ago, Steve Watts said:

The kid in red? I was stood next to the idiots who started the "Who's the fatty in the red".  I called the ringleader out for it. "You can't be shouting that a kid. FFS"  The response was "it's just ******* banter mate lighten up".  They were knobs for most of the match with one of them shoving a steward when he approached them to stop them vaping.  They clearly have an issue with stewarding as he went down to the front and nothing more was done.  

Fair play to you for calling him out on his vile behaviour. That's what we need more of. I don't give a crap if this kid was giving it the big un, he's a kid that has clearly been failed by his parents if he's acting like that. 

Adults bullying kids about their weight can have a huge impact on that kid which could have long term consequences. 

I absolutely hate that people think saying vile things is OK because it's 'banter' it's not banter, it's cruel. I've come across far too many people who use banter as an excuse to be racist, homophobolic, ableist etc etc. It's not banter, it never will be banter. 

Edited December 1, 2023 by W-S-M Seagull

[BigTone]

30 minutes ago, Steve Watts said:

  I called the ringleader out for it. 

Fair play to you

[JP Hampton]

On 30/11/2023 at 07:32, Lewisdabaron said:

Yes. If youre not used to our loutish element then I can appreciate it would be a surprise to someone.

An away regular (espeically as you are a Millwall fan) would be used to this behaviour, (sadly)

But that doesn’t mean it’s not worthy of comment. I can’t see that it being the first or of many away day matches, the post is still worthy of comment, it shouldn’t be something people get used to and shrug off. 
  You don’t get so used to it, to the point of it no longer being shameful.