The Batman Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 here's one i tried the other night"smile, it's always nice to see a pretty girl smile"didnt work because she had a bloke but her mates liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rayer Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 Best chat up line and a compliment isYou don't sweat much for a fat bird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Lambley Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 I met my wife through this although it's not really a chat up line.She was chatting to a mate of mine who quite fancied her , but he wasa bit too young and more a freind than anything else,However he was trying all these dire chat up lines.I sat down next to him , across the table from her and said, You'llnever get a girl talking like that , sounds like you just want to ######.Girls mostly like to be made love to and appreciated , at this point she started listening.I then proceeded to say how you need to please a girl before anything else, kissing the feetmoving along her calves , teasing never rushing, lots of foreplay etc etc.then when she's crawling the walls with pleasure and only then you make LOVE, not ######2 days later she phoned the company i worked for and we arranged to meet.We have now been together 14 yrs and 9 of them weve been wed.Worked for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_am_red Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 some moreHey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me upOver here, now, bitch, ok not the best If your left leg is easter and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays?You're so sweet you're giving me a toothacheHi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants! Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for meYou must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazyand these all worked for me and by worked I mean i got maced and/or arrested Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 some moreHey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me upOver here, now, bitch, ok not the best If your left leg is easter and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays?You're so sweet you're giving me a toothacheHi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants! Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for meYou must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazyand these all worked for me and by worked I mean i got maced and/or arrestedI cant begin to imagine why?! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 guy: do you work for DHLgirl: noguy: why are you checking out my pakage then?oh yeaHeh, are you the human personification of Quogmire? I'd hope so.Rightyo.You have a nice ass, may I slap it?Not failed me yet.Damm liar, you got chatted up by a wench and couldn't manage more than some cleavage stareing, let alone an ass slapping.My newest installment: Alright love? Are you pleased to see me or are you really a man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Damm liar, you got chatted up by a wench and couldn't manage more than some cleavage stareing, let alone an ass slapping. Another classic of mine - ''ello gill's '' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Another classic of mine - ''ello gill's ''Heh, with your dark sunglasses on walking past the fish market "Good mornin' ladies"What ever floats your boat.Funny lot that Patchway lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoke_Gifford_Red Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Hehe, I've heard there's a Jaffa Cake Appreciation society at exeter uni, can't wait Whoops! Nice one, revKev, think I'd have been put off as well.. see that's the problem that i sometimes have about cockyness, I tend to be a bit pig-headed, but i see it as confidence. But women don't always see it that way with me Although, Bristolian birds are much harder to pull that lasses in Wolverhampton. I am kinda goign to Exeter uni this year (well University of Exeter in Cornwall). If Bristolian birds are a lot harder to pull then Wolverhampton birds you obviously haven't met my ex (or Wolverhapton birds are very easy to pull). My ex is the kinda girl who sees what she wants within about 2 minutes of entering the building and won't stop until she has it. Has been known to physically drag blokes onto dancefloor in Oceana, and even follow them around, to try and pull them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grifty Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 here's one i tried the other night"smile, it's always nice to see a pretty girl smile"didnt work because she had a bloke but her mates liked it.thats the best one so farI'm going to use it tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I am kinda goign to Exeter uni this year (well University of Exeter in Cornwall). If Bristolian birds are a lot harder to pull then Wolverhampton birds you obviously haven't met my ex (or Wolverhapton birds are very easy to pull). My ex is the kinda girl who sees what she wants within about 2 minutes of entering the building and won't stop until she has it. Has been known to physically drag blokes onto dancefloor in Oceana, and even follow them around, to try and pull them.aint been to oceania yet, hopefully soon,No mate, wolves lasses are very easy, and being at uni as well means that popularity is EVERYTHING...You'll see what i mean by November time, you'll love it at uni. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 aint been to oceania yet, hopefully soon,No mate, wolves lasses are very easy, and being at uni as well means that popularity is EVERYTHING...You'll see what i mean by November time, you'll love it at uni.Being at uni...... popularity is everything....Are you ####ing insane or just trippin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Being at uni...... popularity is everything....Are you ####ing insane or just trippin?bit harshwhat is trippin??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 bit harshwhat is trippin???You know, are you on drugs? Type thing.When I was at uni being 'popular' was the last thing I wanted to do, the 'popular' crowd where a bunch of stuck up jock ####s. They called us th YIPs (young impressionable people), I called them ####s. My crowd kept ourselves to ourselves, and it certaintly wasn't a popularity contest. In fact I used to slate my mates for talkin to many of 'their' type, because their horrible little opinions contaminate and spread like Herpes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 You know, are you on drugs? Type thing.When I was at uni being 'popular' was the last thing I wanted to do, the 'popular' crowd where a bunch of stuck up jock ####s. They called us th YIPs (young impressionable people), I called them ####s. My crowd kept ourselves to ourselves, and it certaintly wasn't a popularity contest. In fact I used to slate my mates for talkin to many of 'their' type, because their horrible little opinions contaminate and spread like Herpes.no, i don't do that sort of thingthe jocks aint popular at our campus, we see them as stuck up gimps as well, they're in walsall, we're in Wolverhampton. Some of them are nice people, but most of the footy team and some of the rugby guys are complete arses. That's one of the reasons why i didn't go for the footy team, it's because it's based in Walsall and they hate people from Wolves. We're nice at our campus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Fair play mate, point taken.NOW GET DOWN AND GIVE ME TWENTY.Damm that's the damm footy team making me want to stab them again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Fair play mate, point taken.NOW GET DOWN AND GIVE ME TWENTY.Damm that's the damm footy team making me want to stab them again. , believe me, it's temptinganyway back to chat up linesduring the summer, go up to a lass and say"most people only watch the world cup because it happens every 4 years, but chatting to a girl like you only happens once in a lifetime"i shall be trying it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I just had a little bit of sick in my mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I just had a little bit of sick in my mouth. it aint what you say it's how you say it, (as long as it aitn totally pathetic and offensive) it's all about confidence. That line should bring a smile to her face. (emphasize on the word should) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 I met my wife through this although it's not really a chat up line.She was chatting to a mate of mine who quite fancied her , but he wasa bit too young and more a freind than anything else,However he was trying all these dire chat up lines.I sat down next to him , across the table from her and said, You'llnever get a girl talking like that , sounds like you just want to ######.Girls mostly like to be made love to and appreciated , at this point she started listening.I then proceeded to say how you need to please a girl before anything else, kissing the feetmoving along her calves , teasing never rushing, lots of foreplay etc etc.then when she's crawling the walls with pleasure and only then you make LOVE, not ######2 days later she phoned the company i worked for and we arranged to meet.We have now been together 14 yrs and 9 of them weve been wed.Worked for me We can only imagine the disappointment when she discovered it was nothing but a ruse to impress her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 We can only imagine the disappointment when she discovered it was nothing but a ruse to impress her! Mozo, I'm sure like all of the other men on here, red lam was just trying to woo his lady freind with his honesty, and none selfish "Love making" and I'm sure he remains to keep his word to this very day!? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mozo Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 Mozo, I'm sure like all of the other men on here, red lam was just trying to woo his lady freind with his honesty, and none selfish "Love making" and I'm sure he remains to keep his word to this very day!? xxxI'm sure he's never sat with his beloved and uttered the words "C'mon love, let's have a quickie before the footy starts!"I once wooed a girlfriend with 'how come you're single, you're fit?!'She loved it, obviously, and the rest is history (I dumped her a few months later!).I realised long ago that manufactured chat-up lines aren't my style, I prefer a bit of random cheeky banter before hitting 'em with a sincere compliment. Gawd, I'm giving my secret away here!My best line is: 'If the giraffe turns you down, can I get some action?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinky Gems Posted April 25, 2006 Report Share Posted April 25, 2006 My best line is: 'If the giraffe turns you down, can I get some action?' I bet your onto a winner there! Chat up lines should be banned IMO. they are cheesy, thoughtless and just plain cra8! Just be yourself, If she don't like it, she aint the one for you! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Lambley Posted April 27, 2006 Report Share Posted April 27, 2006 Mozo, I'm sure like all of the other men on here, red lam was just trying to woo his lady freind with his honesty, and none selfish "Love making" and I'm sure he remains to keep his word to this very day!? xxxStill Married , Still Happy ....... Still Honest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Batman Posted April 27, 2006 Report Share Posted April 27, 2006 I bet your onto a winner there! Chat up lines should be banned IMO. they are cheesy, thoughtless and just plain cra8! Just be yourself, If she don't like it, she aint the one for you! xxxhi, may names dan, can i get you a drink??Chat up lines cannot be banned otherwise people would not chat to one another, technically, my example above is a chat up line. I know that you mean the god awful ones that some people have recommended but you gotta put a smile on the birds face when you first chat to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 27, 2006 Report Share Posted April 27, 2006 I've found "Would you like some help with your zimmer frame" works wonders for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTFiGO!?! Posted April 27, 2006 Report Share Posted April 27, 2006 I'd try and impress her with some relevant knowledge ''Don't tell me, you're a Masai 'raffette, am I right?'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RED4LIFE Posted April 27, 2006 Report Share Posted April 27, 2006 I'd try and impress her with some relevant knowledge ''Don't tell me, you're a Masai 'raffette, am I right?''I wouldnt let Trev know your cracking on to his 'raffes without paying.I tried that and I'm still sporting the bruises.................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barry_manc Posted April 28, 2006 Report Share Posted April 28, 2006 I wouldnt let Trev know your cracking on to his 'raffes without paying.I tried that and I'm still sporting the bruises.................... Hasn't sat down for weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RED4LIFE Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 Hasn't sat down for weeks.I can confirm that its not just Trevs neck that is long!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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