Best And Rubbish Chat Up Lines

[mozo]

Yeh I know the story, lure them into a false sense of security than BAM out comes the Rohipnol. Dirteh bashstad

It's certainly one method, worked for that Sezer out of Big Brother so the tabloids say.

What ever happened to lobbing it out at the dinner table and saying "it's all I've got love, but it's all yours....when we've finished eating and your parents have gone home, obviously..."

[barry_manc]

It's certainly one method, worked for that Sezer out of Big Brother so the tabloids say.

What ever happened to lobbing it out at the dinner table and saying "it's all I've got love, but it's all yours....when we've finished eating and your parents have gone home, obviously..."

Umm, you get taken to court, given a restricting order and are left with half a banjo string thanks to flying cutlery, THAT's what happens.

[mozo]

Umm, you get taken to court, given a restricting order and are left with half a banjo string thanks to flying cutlery, THAT's what happens.

We've all been there blad.

Every now and then you'll chance upon kinky inlaws who tie you to the table and eat off you. Or was that a one-off?

[barry_manc]

We've all been there blad.

Every now and then you'll chance upon kinky inlaws who tie you to the table and eat off you. Or was that a one-off?

I was on the phone when I read that and when my customer asked me what was so funny I was kind of lost for words.

I've never had inlaws that would look me in the eye, let alone the japseye, one off blud, one off

[swindlered]

Is your sirname Gillette, cos you're the best a man can get.

[Jack]

go up to a lady with an icecube in your hand and smash it on the table, then say now that i've broke the ice, would you like a drink

[Taunton_City]

Hi, i seem to have lost my phone number, can i have yours????

[barry_manc]

All shocking beasts that would only earn you a black eye.

Just buy some rohipnol, cuts a long story short.

[BCFC Grim]

How about this, " Theres 206 bones in the human body, fancy another one in you for the night"

Or " Excuse me, you owe me a drink, i dropped mine when i saw you"

[sonofapitch]

whale told me this one by email

i have lost my keys can i have yours

[jfg]

tell me all your best and rubbish chat up lines!

or which ones you have heard!!!!????!!!!!!

The classic!

You must be sitting on a beer keg, because i wanna tap that ass! it is shocking

[Robbored]

This one is all about timing and should not be used as an opening line but after a few mins of social intercourse you put a 'thinking hard' expression on yer face untill she notices it then say 'D'know? you'd look sexy in a nuns habit' or 'you'd look sexy even if you were dressed as a nun' Depending on how bright she is.

Its worked loads of times.

[grifty]

My mate used the old "I've got a condom with your name on it"

She replied "My names not extra small"

Love that girl.

[54-46]

Do you like chicken? Suck my c*ck, its fowl

[easton boy]

Bump

funniest thing I've read in ages

[bcfczd]

your just like a gilette razor. your the best a man can get

[wackojacko14]

The most pathetic thing ive heard, but laughed so much

Is that a ladder in your tights, or a stairway to heaven?

[jfkerton]

Here's one that has worked quite well for me recently.

Go up to the target and say "Excuse me, have you got the time?"

When she goes to give you the time, stop her and then say "Actually, i know the time, i just wanted to flirt with you."

Wait for her reaction, holding eye contact at ALL times <--- very important

Then say something like "So what brings you out here tonight/today?"

This isn't mine btw, found it on some other site.

[CiderHider]

never had the balls to try this one, but here it is.

You see a fit bird and her fag dog of a friend, you approach the pair of them but focus on the dog and say "excuse me, would you like to dance?" Flabbergasted that you are talking to her an not her fit mate she says "yes, of course!"

To which you say "well **** off then i wanna chat to your mate" :rofl2br:

I could never use that one.

best chat up line is....your bank on speed dial.....'the balance of your current plus account is....£750'885.12p ' Its amazing how many girls want to sleep with you when they know your ****ing loaded.

[North Lincs Red]

How do you like your eggs in the morning, fetilized ?

[pottyun69]

Instead of chat up lines , how about ' break-up lines ' for ending relationships:

Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back.

Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?

I didn't know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that's because this angel's gained a little weight since we started going out.