The Batman

On 26/05/2021 at 17:26, In the Net said:

@Batman - hopefully the sleeping tablets will gradually regulate your body into normal sleeping habits again.  Don't add to your stress at the moment by worrying about how long you will need them for.

It's amazing how a much loved spouse/partner can change in such a short space of time.  I experienced the same with my ex, I've since found out that he lied on the financial declaration when we divorced, as he was actually buying the property he lived in, which he said was rented.  We'd lost our marital home when his business failed - I was stupid enough to sign it over to guarantee a business loan.  When he left we were living in a privately rented house, and I moved in with my parents, so that I could save a deposit to get back on the property ladder.  I never wanted my son to be homeless again - the ex tried to have his child support payments reduced, as my outgoings were reduced due to living with parents!  At the point of divorce, he'd built a considerable amount of equity in his new property, as he'd been in a position financially to buy when the property market bottomed out.

I would never have believed it possible that he could behave like this after 18 happy years together.  I try to get solace from the fact that everything I've achieved since has been done off my own back, and I have a fantastic relationship with my son, who appreciates the fact that I went without things in order to get us where we are today.

I hope that your wife sticks to what she has said, and the divorce can come to an amiable conclusion.  If she is using a solicitor, I fear that they may push her to get what she can - hope that I'm wrong on that one.

Sorry for the delayed response, I've only just seen this. People keep tagging the wrong batman

Since my last post, she has signed the necessary documentation and sent it back to the solicitor dealing with the order. She didn't show a solicitor in the end. Probably because, as you say, they'd tell her she'd be entitled to xyz. So that's something at least. 

I've not taken any sleeping medication for a few nights now and bar waking up at 3 this morning, I did get back to sleep pretty quickly so I am hoping I won't be needing them any longer. 

I am sorry to have read of your situation too. Its so worrying how we can trust someone like that and then they be so deceitful. And well done for all that you have achieved since. Your son is very proud I am sure. 

8 hours ago, MrBibs said:

@Batman The good news is you’re getting divorce proceedings moving. Like you say you’ll soon know either way whether she’s BSing about not being interested in assets/money etc. Either way you’ll be free to move on with your life once financial ties are broken. It will be one less worry in the back of your mind.

I can relate to bad sleep problems. I’ve tried the herbal sleeping tablets a few times for short periods and they certainly help. I share your concerns about coming to rely on them.
 

Sounds like you’re on the right track now, although of course  tends to be ups and downs along the way. Keep going. 

 

Cheers Mr B. 

I'm honestly dreading hearing back as to what she plans to do. It is so sad because when we were together, she could stand in the middle of trafalgar Square and yell "the sky is made of ice cream and jelly" and I've have stood by her. Now I'm hugely skeptical of everything she says so once it is in writing and she's signed the documentation, then it'll be a huge relief. I know she'll come after it because she is a lying failure, but it'll be such a huge satisfying feeling if she doesn't. I don't mind being wrong on this.

On 25/04/2021 at 12:23, The Batman said:

Update. 

Yesterday was an all round good day. 

Rovers relegated and then Swindon relegated. 

Between their games, I received an email from the courts advising that my divorce petition has been accepted so the ball has started rolling now. 

Had a Thatchers Gold last night to celebrate. First cider I've had in a very long time. Tried to stay off the alcohol but felt it was worth it last night. 

Further update. 

Now getting to the crux of the matter now. 

She's said all along that she's not interested in any of my money or assets because they're mine. We're at the point where we have to declare our income, savings, pensions etc. Now we will know if it's just another load of BS lies she's told or whether she's stuck to her guns. 

Also, she doesn't have many friends, 2 of them have broken rank and spoken to me saying how they don't believe a word of what she said to them and how disgusted they are with her. So it's not just my family, friends, circle of people etc, those on her side are too. Her sister saw through her the moment it all came out as well. I imagine her mum and dad are pissed off to but can't admit it out loud because they have to support their daughter. 

Honestly, it's like the woman I fell in love with, married, mothered our child, and devoted and sacrificed so much time, effort and resource to, just doesn't exist any more. Some phoenix has risen who just resembles her a tad. 

I'm on sleeping medication now. I tried so hard to stay off it and just get to sleep naturally but nothing was working and I didn't have a good night's sleep for 6 weeks. Been on it 3 nights now and I've slept through each night thankfully. My worry is that I'll believe that I'll need it every night going forward so I just need to wean off it slowly but surely. 

On 07/04/2021 at 15:05, The Batman said:

Well after discussing things with my friends (one of whom is a solicitor) , I've just decided to start the ball rolling regarding petitioning the court for a divorce under the grounds of adultery. Even though we separated at the end of July, you can still divorce on adultery grounds if your partner gets involved with someone so soon after. 

She has no grounds to divorce me because she's always maintained that I am a perfect husband and father, but she just doesn't love me in that way anymore. Nothing valid there in the eyes of the law. 

Just gonna put the last 9 heartbreaking, gut wrenching months behind me ASAP. 

Update. 

Yesterday was an all round good day. 

Rovers relegated and then Swindon relegated. 

Between their games, I received an email from the courts advising that my divorce petition has been accepted so the ball has started rolling now. 

Had a Thatchers Gold last night to celebrate. First cider I've had in a very long time. Tried to stay off the alcohol but felt it was worth it last night. 

Just now, Fordy62 said:

They need to better Wigan’s goal difference by 9 while winning all of their games and hoping Wigan lose all of theirs. 

They’re down. 

Oh dear

How sad

Never mind

I remember when Sunderland got relegated from the championship, although it didn't look like it, they were down because of the remaining fixtures of the other sides. So are they properly down tonight or is it just mathematically unlikely they'll survive? 

Well after discussing things with my friends (one of whom is a solicitor) , I've just decided to start the ball rolling regarding petitioning the court for a divorce under the grounds of adultery. Even though we separated at the end of July, you can still divorce on adultery grounds if your partner gets involved with someone so soon after. 

She has no grounds to divorce me because she's always maintained that I am a perfect husband and father, but she just doesn't love me in that way anymore. Nothing valid there in the eyes of the law. 

Just gonna put the last 9 heartbreaking, gut wrenching months behind me ASAP. 

1 hour ago, Nogbad the Bad said:

You seem to be on reasonable speaking terms with your mother in law.

If I were you I'd tell her exactly what your daughter said (if you haven't already) and that you are worried that if it was the case she'd been hit, it may be repeated. Ask her if she's seen anything of concern and to keep a particularly close eye on her granddaughter, and the household, to do all she can to ensure it is a safe environment for her.

The well-being of her granddaughter should be a far higher priority for her than her daughter's relationship.

Good luck whatever you decide; I hope things will improve for you soon. 

 

I did. She brushed it off too saying they were just playing dinosaurs, which mirrors what mummy said. 

Good morning all. 

Why am I on a football forum at just after 5am? Well I've not been able to sleep. 

Yesterday i found out by accident that my (ex) wife has actually been in a relationship with her colleague since we separated. Despite me saying how much I wanted to work at things. She was certain that she wanted to be in her own, be independent and had no interest in anyone. Well that was a load of BS. The entire time she was lying to me. On top of my existing ptsd. It's just knocked me royally. I spent all our years together sacrificing and doing everything she ever dreamed of. And yet here we are. 

My mother in law said that she thought I knew ages ago because its been going on for a while. Yet her sister didn't even know. 

I'm not one of those guys that can just turn feelings off for someone at the flick of a switch. Probably just need some reassurance that I'm better off long out of there. 

But here's a spanner in the works. Back in January, I noticed a large bruise on her leg and she said that mummy's friend hit her (same guy). I raised it with mummy and she just brushed it off that they were playing with a few of her other coworkers who went round for dinner. 

If my daughter wasn't in the frame it would be a damn site easier, but how do I manage my concerns without just coming across as a jealous ex? 

27 minutes ago, Super said:

Trott and Thorpe would be ideal now.

Oh yes.

We just need a slow and steady Graham Thorpe esque performance to change this momentum. Don't care who it's from. 

3 hours ago, The Batman said:

That alarm that goes off for a no ball is annoying already. We're only 2 overs in

2 hours ago, Robbored said:

It is! 
Ishant nb,w,nb........

I'd actually like to hear it a lot more now. 

That alarm that goes off for a no ball is annoying already. We're only 2 overs in

Finally. A benefit to working from home. 

Stadium does look glorious, but to have the bottom tier seats that colour really was an awful decision. Didn't think that one through.

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Or maybe they did? 

1 minute ago, Slacker said:

Hope tonights announcement has given you a bit of a lift mate.

Not half. Should have come back to otib sooner. 

By sheer coincidence, yesterday was the first day back on here for me. I stopped coming on here the day that this topic started.

Gave myself a break from a few things, one of them being this forum. 

Thankfully I have very supportive friends and family and my company are shit hot on mental health and well being policies, they've been extremely good. 

Just want to get back to my office, even if it is just for 2 days a week to begin with. 

On a side note, because of my epilepsy and my ptsd, I've had my first covid vaccine which surprised me but they said I was entitled so I took it. 

1 hour ago, Major Isewater said:

Carlo Ancelotti: Second and smiling - Everton’s ‘Hollywood’ appointment paying off

He is still a top level manager. Everton are incredibly fortunate to have him. With the season going the way it is, wouldn't surprise me if Everton finish in the top 4. Mind you, the top half is so tight at the moment, they were mid table a fortnight ago. 

Yeah still awful. Never mind. 

I've got the whole box set in the loft somewhere but I can't be arsed to go and find it. Maybe in the new year I will have a look. 

Quantum of Solace was on itv2 last night. Said earlier in this thread that even though its the worst film I've ever seen, gonna watch it again to see if it as awful as I remember. 

Olga Kurylenko though.

4,000 in Old Trafford and St James Park. 

That's a lot of space still. 

Surely a 10% to 15% capacity rule could come in for larger grounds. But then I suppose clubs with smaller grounds who want the 4,000 won't get the numbers in. Then you've got socially distancing outside the ground, in the turnstiles etc. 

1 minute ago, AshtonGreat said:

Might get into an away game or two?

Interesting point regarding away fans. Will they be allowed? 

4 hours ago, Lrrr said:

I’m sure Batman therefore wouldn’t react to someone simply saying ‘Martha’....... 

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Don't know what you mean 

1 hour ago, BS2 Red said:

You're the Batman, I'm sure you have a cinema at Wayne Manor....  

That Bruce Wayne is an absolute tool. Thankfully we've managed to avoid being in the same room as one another for years now. 

Some films are just built for the big screen though. Would be a shame but how much more do they kick the can down the road hoping for cinema's to reopen. 

Booooooo

Seriously though, a great achievement. Both Bristol and Exeter were not too long ago both championship sides. Shows what steady progress can achieve. Good mix of Bristol players as well as the world wide talent and a top coach. 

Many premiership clubs have so much complacency because only one team goes down. Leicester were so fortunate that sarries points deduction came in. Would like to see 2 teams go down and 2 come up. Freshen it up a bit. 

Was always gonna be a wasps v Exeter final. Oh well. Next season.