Porto Red

48 minutes ago, mozo said:

And at least half of them were real fouls! 

Not only that, but 200% of them were penalties, thus single-handedly accounting for our promotion to the Prem and European places, all things being equal 

54 minutes ago, Bristol Oil Services said:

4th best stadium outside the Prem, Second Toughest (Fans) In the Infants Championship *

Dubnobasswithmyheadman far superior, of course 

Apparently 

1 hour ago, mozo said:

I just listened to the interview on BBC Sport. Wow! He's an absolute champion at turning a mea culpa into a massive brag. He's the kind of bloke who if asked in a job interview what his biggest weakness is, he'd say he's too perfect and it makes other people jealous.

"My biggest weakness is I'm totally honest."

"Well I think that's an admirable quality."

"I don't give a **** what you think!"

(Yeah no, I didn't get that one)

2 hours ago, GrahamC said:

Humour, like taste in film & music is completely subjective, isn’t it?

More people like Mrs. Brown’s Boys than ever watched Monkey Dust or The Larry Sanders Show, for instance.

I’ll therefore try not to be too unkind here but reading the same obvious (unfunny) stuff is pretty tiresome, so once a thread descends into things like “udderly brilliant” or the same rubbish pun someone had already said about 6 posts previously, I’m off.

 

Finally another Monkey Dust fan! Probably wouldn't get broadcast now.

Anyway back to Naismith, and given that he likes to pass it out of defensive positions, in his absence are we just going to hoof it? 

14 minutes ago, Davefevs said:

Obviously has an upside down house and was sleepwalking up the stairs for a piss!!!

That’s bollox…it’s Testacles!

You say testicles, I say testicles 

I wonder if Alex Scott knows that there are people in the stands in their 60s & 70s saying he's the best player they've ever seen for us.

13 minutes ago, lenred said:

*Oracles

Héracles? Sophocles? Hang on I may have misread that, where are my spectacles, oh there they are under my testicles 

On 12/01/2023 at 16:58, ExiledAjax said:

You've quoted me so I'll respond.

I'm not entirely against it.

But, it would have to be a complete buyout by us of them. Essentially an eradication of them, and a final full-stop on their history. I'm also not really sure I would be happy at us setting a precedent like that. Football should be an industry where you can't just buy your rivals/competitors. I don't want Sheff Utd to buy Wednesday, I don't want Forest to buy County, I don't want Stoke to buy Port Vale. Note as well that I'm sure FIFA, UEFA, the FA (plus any future regulator) would have something to say about it - you're straying near to multi-club ownership territory.

Even if it could be done it would take a generation or two to get the entirety of Bristol supporting one club. Partly due to past loyalties, and partly due to the time taken to educate the few about maps, roofs, fixed seating, sell by dates, 7-figure transfer fees, and general human etiquette.

Not to mention basic hygiene, and that incest is taboo 

I took the Bristol City quiz and got 13/20, not bad for someone who's only followed since 2003 and can't remember what he did this morning 

5 hours ago, In the Net said:

Ah, there is unblinkered lifeform on here after all. 

Personally, I don't think the Fruit Market will happen.  I would go for developing the Mem, not sure why they say it isn't viable, as we don't need a huge stadium.  The scheme that Dunford had, before the bottom fell out of the property market/student flats, looked doable, and something similar could be revived.

I believe that Wael has somebody sounding out other people regarding investment, not sure that will happen either.

Stop press, hold the front page, etc

8 hours ago, mozo said:

To be fair it's pretty accurate!

Probably already been pointed out in the interim, but accurate other than that we generally don't see ourselves as any kind of sleeping giant at all and the vast majority of us are very well aware of, and pretty content with, our (admittedly comfortably higher middle echelon) status in the pyramid 

15 minutes ago, Atticus said:

The end of the day. This is a club going nowhere fast. 

Whilst we watch other clubs get away with **** knows what ie Bournemouth. 

We need new ownership. 

 

How much of that will we get for new players? My guess is not much.

And how can you even replace somebody like Semenyo? You can't. So to sell him in January is not only baffling, it's a Hitler esque shooting oneself in the foot. 

Actually maybe it's this one, as everyone knows Hitler was famous for dying by shooting himself in the foot

I'm just going to leave this here 

1 hour ago, Ashton Hero said:

Isn't it more that you have such a poor record in the transfer market and your financial constraints oblige you to bring through youth players? If so, it would be more accurate to say that the littering of academy players is due to poor and misguided investment by previous managers.

Eight million pounds for Kalas, two million for Bentley and how much for Tomlin and Palmer? Ouch. 

No f*cking way, surely it can't be, oh my god it actually is, a Rag Ass Rovers fan mocking our transfer fees paid from the pitiful position of a Tilson in 1993 or whatever it was, a figure declining with the seasons in direct proportion to the accumulation of the years in the Gap

Can I just be the first person to make the joke on this thread about how if the game goes to penalties, the ref won't allow us to take any, or something, thank you

(With apologies to the first person to actually make this joke whose user name I've forgotten but I did give you a "laugh" reaction 

1 minute ago, Rob k said:

Bin the drum 

Or just steal their drumsticks 

3 hours ago, phantom said:

I'm late and it's tired but what is score difference?

2 minutes ago, alexukhc said:

OTIB is not the plaice

Reelly good 

12 hours ago, CiderJar said:

I think you're perhaps forgetting that he is a league one player playing against currently the best team in the Premier League. He did well, and was a pain in the arse... nal (making this little joke was my sole intention).

You should get battered for that. How about some fish puns?

2 hours ago, Port Said Red said:

At the risk of sounding like I am pulling rank, I have an Advanced Food Hygiene qualification and could use the letters Member of Royal Environmental Health Institute of Scotland (MREHIS) after my name, if I could be bothered.  

I could use RFS Cert. Arb. although quite how tree surgery is relevant is up for debate, bit extreme as a curative.

Do any of your other readers have superfluous qualifications entitling them to add letters after their name?

16 hours ago, GlastonburyRed said:

What price a Mark Ashton v Gas playoff final...

Rovers winning until stoppage time and lose to a last minute brace, Ashton running down the touchline to celebrate breaks a leg. Perfect.

2 hours ago, Lanterne Rouge said:

I remember Rob Brydon on QI telling us that ironing board was bordio smoothio and microwave was popdeping.

He may have been taking the piss mind!

Popty-ping is absolutely correct. From my uni days in West Wales I also remember the quite tragic "dim disco heno" (no disco tonight), and "dim parcio" (no parking).

I've never dreamt about football results in my life but I dreamt that we won 2-0 with a Weimann double so had to post in the unlikely event it was a premonition