WessexPest

How did you get access to Joey’s office?

Snakey 2 Stadium Plans Shaky 0

Nice transition from Flint to Skinflint. Or should that be Flint to Skint?

“…and the Oscar for football’s C***iest Chairman goes to…THE WAEL!”

So adored…

In an ideal world, they’d be cell mates…two absolutely horrible human beings. ”The first goal (from Bishop) was clearly not legal.” Aye, well, you’d be the expert there.

Fans need to headbutt more minibuses.

Let’s go from the ground of shanty stands to a sea shanty…

Close, I make it NYD v Cheltenham - they always beat horses, to be fair…

When was the last time the Scum won at home? ?

Get in there. PUP.

That fulfilled dream, of course, being getting the Gash into the Prem.

Nope, quite the opposite actually!

Savage Shrews…

I usually shy away from criticising a fellow slaphead, but that fecker is slimier than a slug who has competed on Pat Sharpe’s funhouse. I like @The Bard’s suggestion but agree it is highly unlikely to ever become reality. With Australia now competing in the AFC qualification competition and OFC having a guaranteed spot in the finals, New Zealand can look forward to qualifying in perpetuity - can’t see Solomon Islands, New Caledonia or Tuvalu presenting them any significant problems.

Also, surely they need to counter the ridiculous number of games by now scrapping the bronze medal match.

Yes, that is utterly ridiculous. And makes a mockery of the claim they want to preserve the drama of matchday 3 of the groups from the last tournament - it really won’t. The tournament will not really get going until the round of 16.

I’m sure we will see a 64-team tournament before too much longer, which will restore the symmetry but will obviously further dilute the quality. Someone above mentioned this but the more teams qualify the more I wonder we will see the qualification process morph into an FA Cup model where the third round is akin to the tournament proper and the nations seeded 33 and below will vie to join the established nations at the showpiece. Hardly fair, but you can’t keep expanding the tournament that much without making major changes to how teams earn their place at the table. My biggest beef with the third-place teams advancing is it encourages negative play. At Italia 90, the Republic of Ireland reached the QFs without winning a single game and scoring a total of two goals.

The Big Lebowski? More like Wally Slagchat… This post is like reading one of those articles from the 1950s about what life will be like in the future, where they manage to get every single prediction spectacularly wrong.

Thought there’d be a thread on this; didn’t spy one but please merge if I overlooked. FIFA has confirmed the group stage will feature 12 pools of four, not the previously proposed 16 pools of three. Happy they scrapped the three-in-a-bed format for reasons of footballing integrity, but the tournament is positively elephantine now with eight matches for the eventual winners to navigate, and - if my abacus is working - an additional 40 matches to be played over the course of the tournament. Even the most ardent armchair fan is going to tire of watching that much football, particularly as there are going to be so many god-awful matches in the group stage and early knockouts. 32 was the perfect number of teams but even at the last two tournaments, which were largely of a very high standard, there were a handful of teams there who were clearly making up the numbers. Not sure the “matchday three of the groups was edge-of-the-seat stuff and we want to preserve that drama” reasoning bears close scrutiny either - the mathematics is completely different when two go through and two are on the plane home versus two qualify from each group plus more than half of the third place teams. The qualifying tournaments are going to be utterly moribund now. Little point in Argentina facing the other eight CONCACAF teams home and away in a league format - what are the odds of them not finishing in the top six? 32 teams was about optimal, but FIFA’ll not be happy until they’ve taken a sledgehammer to the entire thing - especially if this every two years suggestion rears its ugly head again.

Agreed, we never really call them that any more. Take your pick from the following:- Gastards, Gassholes, Laughable Gash, Sags, Slags, C***s, Scum, 15ers, Blue Few, Scum, Overdrawn and Quartered, Rent Boys, Mouldy Battenberg Shite, Tote Scrotes, BeastVile Wanderers, Skeletor’s Chicken Hutch XI, Gappers, Whorefield nonleaguers, Cureton’s Babes, FA Trophy First Round Runners Up, Pisspoorial Mounders, ScumBarton’s Skoal Ar*e Bandits, BarrowHitchenCheshamBorehamWoodBraintreeAltrinchamBathBarnetMyF**kingSides, Oh, did I mention C***s? Sorry, feeling devoid of inspiration.

Gap-tain Gash got a new shirt apparently!

Incredible. Boxing Day was exactly two months ago today - we were utterly abject that day (and that was by no means a one-off “performance” at the time) and I was convinced we were doomed. Have hardly put a foot wrong since and of course undefeated. A blissful two months! Someone mentioned Cardiff and it being “unlikely” they go down. Looking at the table I think there’s every chance they could get sucked in to the bottom three. Huddersfield have a game in hand and Cardiff have lost more games than bottom club Wigan. Plus practically every season there’s a team who looked stuffed in about late February, but then proceed to put a decent run together that allows them to pull off a Houdini act. Either way, hopefully we can heighten the Blueturds’ relegation anxieties next weekend! EDIT: Playoffs are out of the question this season, there’s simply no way we are going to finish top six.

Karl Robinson sacked - the inevitable consequence of getting turned over 3-0 in your own backyard by that shower of s***e.

Are they tin pots, or buckets to catch the leaks in his tent?