Robbored

54 minutes ago, Harry said:

Was good until the last episode. Very rushed finale I thought. 

I wasn’t expecting  the ending tho.........

Tuscany, 1950s. A beautiful young woman, Maria 17 a virgin who had never been kissed was due to marry an older but wealthy man from the next village.

Mamma,  being very protective of her daughter insisted that the newly weds spend their first night together in her house and so the two newly went upstairs.......Mamma stayed in the kitchen cooking pasta....

Two mins later Maria comes running down the stairs ‘mama, mama, he has a hairy chest!  ‘ don’t worry! all Italian men have hairy chests’ Maria goes back upstairs but just a minute later she she runs down again ‘mama, mama, he has hairy legs!....Don’t  worry! all Italian men have hairy legs’ Maria goes back up stairs by which time he taken off his socks and she saw that his toes on one foot were missing. She runs back downstairs...

Mama, mama, ‘ he only has a foot and a half!’.....’ don’t worry, you just stay here and stir the pasta’......

Can remember if I posted this one before but it’s pretty good even if it is second time around.

Gotham City, really hot day Batman and Superman are on the roof of a skyscraper crime busting but nothing is happening so Superman starts scanning the roofs below using his amazing vision and spots Wonderwoman lying on a sunbed with her feet wide apart. 

Superman nudges Batman  and points out Wonderwoman and Batman sees her and and says ‘wow! Why don’t you whizz down there are give her one?’  so Superman zooms off but is back in no time. 

’I bet she was surprised’ says Batman ‘she was,  but not surprised as the invisible man’......

The Stranger on Netflix is an excellent thriller. Well worth watching it. 

Notorious and rich and gangster thinks that his accountant is ripping him off  so he decides to sack  him replace with a deaf an mute accountant as he can’t hear or talk to anyone. It all goes well for a while but eventually the gangster suspects that this new accountant is also ripping him off but he can’t talk to him so he asks his solicitor to use sign language.

Sat in the solicitors office the gangster says ‘ask him what he’s done with the money’ The mute guy replies  in sign and the solicitor says ‘ he doesn’t know what your talking about’ ‘ask him again’ and the mute guy relies with same answer....

Pissed right off the gangster pulls out his hand gun and holds against the mute guys temple.....’ now ask him ask again’

The guy replies in sign to the solicitor and says ‘a £100 grand in hold-all buried behind my brothers shed’  ‘what did he say? asks the gangster  ‘ he says that you haven’t got the guts to pull the trigger’..........

6 minutes ago, Bobby Bollax said:

How do you see this effecting the bowls season Alan?

Outdoor it’s pending currently. We’ve had players drop out from indoor already and discussions are taking place on whether to end the season now or see it through.

19 minutes ago, glos old boy said:

So will surgical gloves cut down the need for hand washing, just bung them in the bin each day que the run on disposible gloves; then of course goggles for eye protection and a decent rubber mask and its sorted.Just protect the holes in your body where it can get in

Surgical gloves would definitely help in keeping your hands clean. 

32 minutes ago, Andy082005 said:

Not true. We have a lot of ******* idiots in this country who lack an awful lot of common sense 

Parcel force driver delivered an item to a customer the other day who had ordered something to his home address. He came out and openly started discussing the fact he was in self isolation as he had symptoms. 

The Weak messages from our government have not helped in the slightest 
 

According to the BBC the most important protection strategy is to keep your hands clean by regular hand washing with soap and warm water, or hand gel if you can find any. The virus is not passed via the air which is why face masks are not essential but it is passed on thru mucus membrane such as eyes and mouth/lips and why we are advised not to touch our faces or rub your eyes.

The virus can survive of surfaces for a short period tho. 

1 hour ago, cidered abroad said:

Firstly Robbored, this is not aimed at you personally.

If your age is what I think it is, over 70?, you should already be considering what you do now. And for those under 60,, please consider all like me because, while you may have a few days off work and make a full recovery, in the early stages of your illness, you will be lethal to the elderly.

In July I will have completed 77 years,

Firstly I’m 65 and like you I’m in pretty good shape for my age and my view on the virus is very much to adopt the medical guidelines, regular hand washing etc etc in the hope of avoiding it.

I tried every pharmacy and supermarket in Nailsea to buy some hand  gel - all sold out as are thermometers so there’s not much else I can do.

So far there is one confirmed case in N Somerset which will certainly increase but I’m resigned to the fact that  I might become infected in which case I’ll self isolate particularly as several  of my neighbours are 75+.

I have another bowls match this afternoon so we’ll just elbow tap rather than a handshake.

5 minutes ago, mozo said:

I suspect they will cancel football until after the International break. I seriously don't know how I'm going to survive without football...

We all survive during the close season.........That said cricket is being played then and it’s  the best sport in the world.

6 hours ago, AppyDAZE said:

? as @Robbored who remains disturbingly quiet on the subject, might I add.. I'm sure he knows something we don't

It is what it is. I’m following the government guidelines as we all should but still going about my day to day life. The only thing that’s changed is that we now touch elbows at bowls rather than shake hands.

One thing that Im not sure about is that coughs and colds are fairly common during the colder months and most of us get them at some stage. I have recently had cold like symptoms  but just normalised them and carried on as normal. 

I guess it could have been the virus..................

20 minutes ago, bcfcshorey said:

Planning on going to the Exeter Chiefs game in April. First home game in ages, mostly see them in their London away games.

Where’s good to sit at AG?

The Lansdown or the Dolman gives the best overall view. 

I’d get a ticket ASAP - I imagine the Chiefs game will be a sell out.

13 minutes ago, TomF said:

I’m no rugby expert but watched the game on BT and thought second half they really put a shift in defensively when Quinn’s through everything at them. Felt the ref wasn’t particularly favourable either - shame they didn’t get the forth try but a win is a win really.. 

Last weeks win at Bath was a terrific defensive display as well. The Bears must have repelled  Bath from just about 4 or 5 metres from their own line. It’s was tremendously thrilling to watch.

Not quite so many heroics today but another very impressive display. 5 consecutive wins.........

32 minutes ago, slartibartfast said:

Just on RB........... SL saying words to the effect of     " that's what you get with a fantastic coach, inspiration and grit" !             Hmmmm, ring any bells, Steve ?

I think SL has the same opinion of LJ as his does of Pat Lam.

Stokes just clocked a very quick 91mph..............thats him, Wood and Archer all capable of bowling at express pace.

I didn’t realise just how pacy Stokes is.

No need to be concerned about who’ll fill the void when Anderson/Broad retire - in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Anderson has played his final test.

7 minutes ago, Northern Red said:

Amazes me how otherwise highly competent fast bowlers completely lose the plot when tailenders start playing a few shots.

SA didn’t have a strategy of how to bowl at the tail enders  - that’s what Mikey was so scathing about. It’s very surprising given that these guys are top professional cricketers.

400 up!   Gotta say tho the SA bowling was dreadful! Mikey was very scathing in commentary...........

4 minutes ago, hodge said:

Middle order doing good work throwing away Crawley & Sibley's good work

The size of the cracks that formed in the practice strip you'd have thought they'd have wanted a front line spinner when you already have 4 seamers

Both teams left out their recognised spinner......of course England have Root who can bowl decent enough off breaks should the wicket deteriorate enough.

2 hours ago, MichaelRobartes said:

Bess apparently dropped for Woakes because of all the reasons.

Because it’s a seamers wicket although you wouldn’t know that with the power puff buffet bowling SA are serving up.

19 minutes ago, Super said:

19 minutes ago, Super said:

Stick em back in!

They have..........
 

An impressive collapse from SA........and great line and length from Broad.

Bess - 5 for.......good lad!

6 minutes ago, elhombrecito said:

Especially when you consider that two of his demerit points came from celebrating the wickets of Warner and Smith in that Test match. 

The sandpaper test...........

Well done Stokes! 
His 9th test hundred.

He’s some cricketer is Ben Stokes.

Stokes and Pope have put on 148 and frustrating SA - great to see!