Aizoon Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 "Don't panic! Nobody panic! Don't mention relegation!" cried Corporal Lansdown... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 Meanwhile the Hedgehog cull commences in Horfield Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin phantom Posted January 29, 2016 Admin Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 Where the dirty little rats with spikes were finally removed from the area, luckilly . .. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Orns Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 8 minutes ago, phantom said: Where the dirty little rats with spikes were finally removed from the area, luckilly . .. . the hedgehogs remained untouched Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tall King Blox Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 Meanwhile.......just down the road from Horfield,on the Gloucester Road, self confessed equine hater and top porn producer Richard "show us your willy" King was having a bad day, he needed to punch something and thus he cried " A Horse, A Horse, my King Dong for a Horse " to which the little old lady stood outside the bookies having a fag replied "........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 1 hour ago, phantom said: Where the dirty little rats with spikes were finally removed from the area, luckilly . .. . The insectivores watched the demise of the rodents with supreme indifference. "Vulgar little ominivores", they agreed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tall King Blox Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 3 hours ago, Aizoon said: The insectivores watched the demise of the rodents with supreme indifference. "Vulgar little ominivores", they agreed... 4 hours ago, Kingswood mask said: Meanwhile.......just down the road from Horfield,on the Gloucester Road, self confessed equine hater and top porn producer Richard "show us your willy" King was having a bad day, he needed to punch something and thus he cried " A Horse, A Horse, my King Dong for a Horse " to which the little old lady stood outside the bookies having a fag replied "........................... Give me the hoards, the mighty hoards of insectivores that rightly own this earth.............until the invention of.......The Wheel, with that Horrace reeled in pain, remembering lost friends of yesteryear, just to cross the road, and they resembled chickens not....the plot thickened until............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 4 hours ago, Kingswood mask said: Meanwhile.......just down the road from Horfield,on the Gloucester Road, self confessed equine hater and top porn producer Richard "show us your willy" King was having a bad day, he needed to punch something and thus he cried " A Horse, A Horse, my King Dong for a Horse " to which the little old lady stood outside the bookies having a fag replied "........................... Hello, my names Camilla Porky Bowels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 3 minutes ago, Kingswood mask said: Give me the hoards, the mighty hoards of insectivores that rightly own this earth.............until the invention of.......The Wheel, with that Horrace reeled in pain, remembering lost friends of yesteryear, just to cross the road, and they resembled chickens not....the plot thickened until............ He remembered the old slogan "Procrastinate, don't hibernate" and read through the Highway Code. Not a mention of insectivores or, to be fair, rodents either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 1 hour ago, Aizoon said: He remembered the old slogan "Procrastinate don't hibernate" and read through the Highwholeode. Not a mention of ins ectivores or, to be fair, rodents either ...insectivores (aka intersections) and rodents (aka pot-holes) -four thousand holes still stuck in the wrong town, abandoned by refugee aliens fleeing genocide, ''how are we supposed to get to Blackburn Lancashire from here now? '' they waxed lyrically.. Then with no Lennon or McCartney in sight they all quietly set off in search of the nearest wHolesale market, no point making a song and dance about it they agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 5 minutes ago, WhistleHappy said: ...insectivores (aka intersections) and rodents (aka pot-holes) -four thousand holes still stuck in the wrong town, abandoned by refugee aliens fleeing genocide, ''how are we supposed to get to Blackburn Lancashire from here now? '' they waxed lyrically.. Then with no Lennon or McCartney in sight they all quietly set off in search of the nearest wHolesale market, no point making a song and dance about it they agreed. There's a hole here in Horfield that they're welcome to - if they're the right shape to sit on plastic chairs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted January 29, 2016 Report Share Posted January 29, 2016 3 minutes ago, Aizoon said: There's a hole Horfield that they're welcome to - if they're the right shape to sit on plastic chairs... Oh purlease, these are genuine pot-holes (aka 'rodents' renember)-not shite holes ffs, they wouldnt be seen dead there -how very dare you suggest such a thing? tut tut, drat drat and treble drat for that Whacky insult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welcome To The Jungle Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 Meanwhile in space, the Aliens were hatching an invasion plan when Zog realised... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbored Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 That City were at home that day so..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 They disguised themselves as council officials and painted double yellow lines all over BS3. "That'll fix them", said Zog, hitching up his red trousers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollymarie Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 When suddenly a massive RSJ that they were lifting into place over AG fell on his head, and he was no more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanterne Rouge Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 However, what no-one knew was that like Dr Evil, he had cloned himself in case of just such an event so out of his cycle pannier emerged................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 Zog II - even loonier and more scarlet-trousered than before. "Obey!" He shouted, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbored Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 It was too late..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted January 31, 2016 Report Share Posted January 31, 2016 ...his vermillion pantaloons, with their capacious bell-bottoms, had attracted the attention of a ravenous array of hedgehogs, and he was consumed from the ankles upwards. "If only I'd remembered my bicycle clips", were his last despairing words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbored Posted February 1, 2016 Report Share Posted February 1, 2016 " I could have a quick escape down the purpose built cycle lanes" but.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 6 hours ago, Robbored said: " I could have a quick escape down the purpose built cycle lanes" but.... Alas, the hedgehogs had blocked them with discarded Natch cans, and the alien Zog II thought "damn that Natch wall" as he expired. The hedgehogs celebrated, singing "Reds You On Come" as is customary in the last ten minutes, and went back into hibernation. Meanwhile, several Premiership players had decided... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhistleHappy Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 ....to sit on bench's with fingers crossed that, as the transfer window had closed, all their hopes now focussed on the loan system to provide them with their dream moves... to the West Country. Dare they hope that Mr Ashton would make that all important 118 - 118 call and make an interesting offer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Alas, being interesting is not Mr Ashton's strong point. The good news is that John Terry is not coming to the Gate. The bad news is that neither is any other bugger. Apparently they were put off by the threat of alien invasion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chairman Mao Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 However that fear soon subsided when people realised the 'aliens' were in fact 6 fingered gasheads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin phantom Posted February 2, 2016 Admin Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 that fed on hedgehogs . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTone Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Meanwhile down on Brean Sands ........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbored Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 Mr Ashton, stripped naked stood next to his clothes and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin phantom Posted February 2, 2016 Admin Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 made a dash into the sea, all because . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizoon Posted February 2, 2016 Report Share Posted February 2, 2016 ...he wanted a swim. He came back an hour later, bone dry apart from muddy feet, and speaking Welsh. He clearly lacks local knowledge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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