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phantom

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Loco Rojo

Loco Rojo

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On 17/09/2023 at 09:12, myol'man said:

It will be exactly a year to the day on Tuesday that my wonderful wife took her own life. She was suffering with a physical condition that wasn't being dealt with. Her inquest is soon, we'll find out more then.

Sometimes, I barely get through the day, some days I'm ok. 

If you know me & see me at the Plymouth match and I'm looking fine, it's just a front.

Ask how I'm doing, it all helps ?

Sid 

Truly sorry to read this Sid. Every day must be incredibly difficult for you. As someone else said, time will hopefully help you find some way to manage what you're going through.

Do look after yourself and i hope you're getting the help and support you need as well. 

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Mattredrobin

Mattredrobin

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Hey Everyone just wanted to check in with everyone and see how you are all doing? Football for me helps me massively with my mental health struggles, I've obviously seen lots of people talking and the backlash of losing Nigel Pearson, some of it in my opinion very over the top and unnecessary. It's not triggered me at all but just got me thinking how people have been affected by this last weeks events obviously there a numerous threads on the main page and a lot of the stuff I cant be assed to go through. But this page seems a bit more open and level headed. 

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Port Said Red

Port Said Red

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What ever you may think of the guy, some of you may find the Robbie Williams documentary on Netflix interesting. It's good to see that he has come through so much to become a happy family man, also that these sort of troubles are no respecter of wealth or fame. 

The ups and downs he has had and his apparent ultimate destination are similar to my own in some ways.

He has the chance to see footage of himself from many periods of his life and reflect on those. It made me think that it's a shame that life doesn't work in such a way that his young self could see what he becomes, but it's something we can do to some extent through this documentary and link it to ourselves and our own issues.

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In the Net

In the Net

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8 hours ago, Port Said Red said:

What ever you may think of the guy, some of you may find the Robbie Williams documentary on Netflix interesting. It's good to see that he has come through so much to become a happy family man, also that these sort of troubles are no respecter of wealth or fame. 

The ups and downs he has had and his apparent ultimate destination are similar to my own in some ways.

He has the chance to see footage of himself from many periods of his life and reflect on those. It made me think that it's a shame that life doesn't work in such a way that his young self could see what he becomes, but it's something we can do to some extent through this documentary and link it to ourselves and our own issues.

I thought that it was very good.  Some of the things he said resonated with me, (although I've never had an addiction), particularly "it would probably be best if I just passed away" - I know that feeling so well, and it can be a constant battle.  Looks like he has a lovely family, and hopefully he's sorted for good now. 

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reddoh

reddoh

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On 11/11/2023 at 19:18, In the Net said:

I thought that it was very good.  Some of the things he said resonated with me, (although I've never had an addiction), particularly "it would probably be best if I just passed away" - I know that feeling so well, and it can be a constant battle.  Looks like he has a lovely family, and hopefully he's sorted for good now. 

@inthenet how are things with you?

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BigTone

BigTone

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As a lot of you would have seen in previous posts my Wife went into a Care Home 8 months ago due to Dementia & Alzheimers.  The Home has been fantastic for her and she has progressed really well.  She went into Hospital in May for a couple of weeks to the Neurology Dept where they assessed her condition and changed all her medication etc.  The change in her has been amazing.  Also the Physiotherapy she has received now has her walking with a stick whereas before she was wheelchair bound.

She has progressed so well that after discussion with her Doctors etc we decided she deserved another chance at trying to lead a normal life so brought her home 3 weeks ago.  It hasn't been easy and she has her moments but generally speaking so far so good and long may it continue.

 

 

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Antman

Antman

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9 minutes ago, BigTone said:

As a lot of you would have seen in previous posts my Wife went into a Care Home 8 months ago due to Dementia & Alzheimers.  The Home has been fantastic for her and she has progressed really well.  She went into Hospital in May for a couple of weeks to the Neurology Dept where they assessed her condition and changed all her medication etc.  The change in her has been amazing.  Also the Physiotherapy she has received now has her walking with a stick whereas before she was wheelchair bound.

She has progressed so well that after discussion with her Doctors etc we decided she deserved another chance at trying to lead a normal life so brought her home 3 weeks ago.  It hasn't been easy and she has her moments but generally speaking so far so good and long may it continue.

 

 

Good luck Tone - I am dealing with my own mum and my wife's mum ATM, both have dementia and both have very different needs.

My own mum has just moved to a new home and for the first time they have managed her pain meds properly, this has resulted in a complete change in character. unfortunately she needs nursing care 24/7 so being at home is no longer an option

It will be tough at times, but the fact that you will be in more familiar surroundings will help I hope.

stay strong mate.

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BigTone

BigTone

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On 16/11/2023 at 10:01, Antman said:

Good luck Tone - I am dealing with my own mum and my wife's mum ATM, both have dementia and both have very different needs.

My own mum has just moved to a new home and for the first time they have managed her pain meds properly, this has resulted in a complete change in character. unfortunately she needs nursing care 24/7 so being at home is no longer an option

It will be tough at times, but the fact that you will be in more familiar surroundings will help I hope.

stay strong mate.

Thanks Ant, this last weekend has been a tad fraught with her but generally going ok.

That said life has a way of just kicking you in the bollox.  My 99 year old Dad in Australia lives with and is looked after by my Sister in Adelaide since Mum died a couple of years ago.  Yesterday I got a call from my Nephew to tell me my Sister has advanced stages of cancer.  It is in her Spine, Stomach, Liver, Pancreas, Lungs & Lymphatic system and she has maybe 3-6 months to live.  Obviously, she cannot continue to care for Dad so we are now frantically trying to find a Care Home for him to move to.  I'm starting to give up on life TBH.

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Antman

Antman

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20 minutes ago, BigTone said:

Thanks Ant, this last weekend has been a tad fraught with her but generally going ok.

That said life has a way of just kicking you in the bollox.  My 99 year old Dad in Australia lives with and is looked after by my Sister in Adelaide since Mum died a couple of years ago.  Yesterday I got a call from my Nephew to tell me my Sister has advanced stages of cancer.  It is in her Spine, Stomach, Liver, Pancreas, Lungs & Lymphatic system and she has maybe 3-6 months to live.  Obviously, she cannot continue to care for Dad so we are now frantically trying to find a Care Home for him to move to.  I'm starting to give up on life TBH.

i will just say that sometimes it feels like it's coming at you from all angles, but just take a breath and go at your own speed. it will pass.

It's not the same situation as yours by a long chalk but this last year with my mum has felt like that - one thing then another, (and we had that same scramble for a home. Hopefuly Aus is better than the totally shite care system in the UK)  but i tell myself it will pass. try to find the small stuff you enjoy doing as well, as all the negative stuff just takes over - someone said make a list of 5 good things that happen to yourself every day, i actually found that tough, but get the point.

right now i am enjoying a cup of tea (! - even the small stuff counts) here and now, thats good enough.

 

a good friend of mine once said 'i thought i'd hit bottom, then i heard knocking from below' and while that sounds pretty dark, it kind of makes me smile.

 

chins up

 

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YorksRed

YorksRed

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On 21/11/2023 at 08:02, Antman said:

i will just say that sometimes it feels like it's coming at you from all angles, but just take a breath and go at your own speed. it will pass.

It's not the same situation as yours by a long chalk but this last year with my mum has felt like that - one thing then another, (and we had that same scramble for a home. Hopefuly Aus is better than the totally shite care system in the UK)  but i tell myself it will pass. try to find the small stuff you enjoy doing as well, as all the negative stuff just takes over - someone said make a list of 5 good things that happen to yourself every day, i actually found that tough, but get the point.

right now i am enjoying a cup of tea (! - even the small stuff counts) here and now, thats good enough.

 

a good friend of mine once said 'i thought i'd hit bottom, then i heard knocking from below' and while that sounds pretty dark, it kind of makes me smile.

 

chins up

 

Some of the care homes in Australia are fantastic.  Unlike here, many of them are in purpose built buildings and are very modern.

I hope that Tone and his family can find a great one for his Dad as soon as possible.

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BigTone

BigTone

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On 22/11/2023 at 17:45, YorksRed said:

Some of the care homes in Australia are fantastic.  Unlike here, many of them are in purpose built buildings and are very modern.

I hope that Tone and his family can find a great one for his Dad as soon as possible.

Fingers crossed. As things stand he is staying where he is for the time being with family taking turns to help out with his care. Really just a short term solution though. 

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Colombo Robin

Colombo Robin

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Funny how you can think you have everything all in place and suddenly out of nowhere life throws something at you. Had to take a big big pay cut this week (brexit problems) and all of a sudden with 2 kids to feed and an increasing mortgage i havent been able to sleep and feel this odd anxiety in the belly. Not really sure about the point of my post to be honest. 1st world problems i guess and  I should be grateful for all I have which is still a lot. Nobody is immune to feeling shit i guess is my point, life can truely be a bitch. Compounded by Norwich's last minute winner

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BigTone

BigTone

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1 hour ago, Colombo Robin said:

Funny how you can think you have everything all in place and suddenly out of nowhere life throws something at you. Had to take a big big pay cut this week (brexit problems) and all of a sudden with 2 kids to feed and an increasing mortgage i havent been able to sleep and feel this odd anxiety in the belly. Not really sure about the point of my post to be honest. 1st world problems i guess and  I should be grateful for all I have which is still a lot. Nobody is immune to feeling shit i guess is my point, life can truely be a bitch. Compounded by Norwich's last minute winner

Stay strong mate.

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BigTone

BigTone

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Sister is declining at a rapid rate.  She had Radiotherapy which helped pain wise with her Spine & Lungs but hasn't stopped it spreading elsewhere.  She will receive no further treatment and is now in the Hospice attached to the Hospital to await the inevitable. Life just sucks.

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Hxj

Hxj

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On 20/12/2023 at 13:00, myol'man said:

2nd Christmas without my darling wife, but because I was in such shock last year, it feels like the first :(

I'm on my third without my F who rescued me back in 2014.  I had a lovely email from one of her sisters today who reminded how much she and her family appreciated how much better F's life was with me than it was before, and I thought F was looking after me!

It will always hurt, but the good times will break through.

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Shireman1

Shireman1

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On 20/12/2023 at 13:00, myol'man said:

2nd Christmas without my darling wife, but because I was in such shock last year, it feels like the first :(

I have a wonderful 2 year old granddaughter to keep me smiling x

Stay strong everyone 

My first Christmas without my wife, who passed away 5 weeks ago.  66 years together...62 as a married couple.  Our children have provided wonderful support to me....but Christmas will never be the same as before 😞

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BigTone

BigTone

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3 hours ago, Shireman1 said:

My first Christmas without my wife, who passed away 5 weeks ago.  66 years together...62 as a married couple.  Our children have provided wonderful support to me....but Christmas will never be the same as before 😞

Understandable. My thoughts are with you.

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